I broke up with my ex-boyfriend 2 years ago. Last week, I out through a mutual friend that he is getting married in May 2009. Now, let me be clear- I do not want this man back, but this infuriates me. I was in love with this man for 4 years and I put a lot of work into the relationship. When I realized that this man did not want the same type of relationship that I wanted, I broke it off and never looked back. He was selfish and stubborn and we had poor communication issues. I found out that he started dating his fiancée while I was still with him, which makes him a cheater. Our mutual friend showed me pictures of my ex and his fiancée on vacations, family dinners, and at social events. We never took a vacation together although he promised that he would take me one day. I hurts to see that he took her on one. I left the relationship thinking that he was incapable of having a successful relationship, but now I realize that he was incapable of having a successful relationship with me. Ouch! What a shot to my ego. I am losing sleep over this now. I'm mad that the man that I was crazy about is getting married. I used to fantasize about walking down the aisle with him and having kids. I'm mad that he cheated on me while we were together. I know time heals all wounds, but I desperately need to get over this. I feel like I'm going out of my mind.

He was not the person for you. Would it be better that he had married you and you had an unhappy marriage? Of course not. Just because you saw pics of them on vacation doesn't mean that he is a "changed" person. You are assuming a lot with very little information. Bottom line - he is a cheater and doesn't deserve you.

Yikes... I feel badly for your situation and could not possibly imagine the amount of resentment you hold for this guy right now. It has been two years since you two have been together and unfortunately sometimes when people break up they don't really become the significant other until its too late. You two have dated for 4 years and it is hard for me to say that you two had nothing in common because I am sure you did but what I think is maybe you two where too opposite (which you mentioned that you two had a difference of opinions of what each of you wanted in a relationship). There evidently was a communication breakdown and thus leading you to your current situation and him to his. I know it is hard for you to digest the fact that he was seeing this finance while you two where dating but that right there tells you that it wasn't meant to be and it would have been the inevitable. Just be happy for him as a friend. How about you... do you have happiness? Focus on your current situation and try not to think about him or his new life.

If you were in a successful relationship right now you wouldn't even be thinking about this. Perhaps you are mad because a person you considered incapable of being a decent boyfriend/husband is the first to marry. Don't let that detour you or have second guesses as to your decision to end it. Like you said, he is a cheater, so you breaking up with him was inevitable, regardless of whether you two would have gotten married or not. Good ridence, and believe me, it is a natural feeling to have.

Life goes on, and who is to say he won't cheat on his current fiancé now anyway? Doesn't matter... you matter and you will be fine, but it is common for most people to feel the way you do when they find something like this out. Nothing more than raw emotion. Doesn't mean you did the wrong thing or it was your fault if didn't work. Clearly you two weren't made to be.

I think KCTiger hit the nail on the head. I know that if I was in a relationship right now, I would not care about this. I've been in 2 short lived relationships since we broke up. During both relationships, I remember feeling happy that I had broken up with the ex. I always thought that I was going to marry first because I felt I wanted it more than him. I feel like he totally does not deserve to get married or to be happy. I secretly hope that things don't work out so that he will feel pain. I hate that I feel this way because his fiancée may be a nice person and a better match for him.

I appreciate all the feedback I've gotten on this so far. I'm feeling a little better already. I guess I just needed to vent.

Well on top of what Kctiger has said here is my 2 cents. Do you really even think you should be caring about what this man is doing? You really know nothing of the situation and your mind is just filling in the gaps saying that he has a happy go lucky life now. Don't let it do that in the first place because you really can't know his situation with this girl. Honestly on a second note, don't lose sleep over this. You should treasure the memories that you had and just stop trying to catch information on this guy it's only going to make you sad in the long run. So stop fishing for info on your ex who cares that he is getting married or where his honeymoon is or any of that because it has absolutely nothing to do with you so why stress over it? Let the past be past and don't let it dictate your future.

You can't know for certain that he is indeed happy.Pictures are deceiving and maybe he is miserable and she is dominating him and he is getting pushed into marriage.

They say the best revenge is to live well and I suggest you try that.

Anger and resentment is an awful burden for you to carry around so try to let it go.When you are free of that you will truly be free of him and you can start a new life.

Venting is good!

Good luck!

Quote:

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I know that if I was in a relationship right now, I would not care about this.

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If you can see that, then your okay. Nice vent!

My ex that I was with for almost 5 years is now married. Well first of all, he was engaged about 8 months after he kicked me to the curb. And even though I was over him, it sucked! I was pretty upset because I was with him that long and not even a year into his new relationship (or who knows, maybe he was with her too while with me) he was engaged! He called me a year and a half ago and wanted me to meet up with him. I went and he told me they were broken up. Then he wanted me (actually had no doubt in his mind) to go home with him. Umm, no! I talked to him again recently and guess what, he is now actually married. Not to the same girl either. So 3 years later after we broke up, he has been engaged twice and now married. This time though it didn't bother me at all. But I know your frustration, it really annoyed me the first time he was engaged, now I just don't care about anything with him.

Hey, you broke it off , now get over it and move on, Being angry about his life and the way it tunred out is a total waste of your energy and emotions. It serves no useful purpose.

I am so sorry that you had to go through that! That feeling of rejection is horrible! Its like a slap in the face and he is not the man for you. And when that happens you start to get the idea that maybe you weren't good enough, but you were it was him he was not good enough for you and you deserve someone who is not a liar. And since that's the girl who he cheated on you with... they will not last! Trust me! Anything that is built on a lie is sure to fall