Was this wrong of me, or is he reacting poorly?
My boyfriend has recently decided that he really likes acting. When we were together the last time he talked to me about how he wanted to do be an actor and I was supportive, every time we watched a movie, however, he told me he could never do a romantic scene.
Since we've been broken up he started hanging with these people who went to film school.
After we started talking again he was filming something with them. He had been at my house the night before, was text messaging me all day, and then came back over to my house when I was done. I asked him what it was and he said just this thing he was doing as a favor to the filmmaker friend.
A few days later he sent me a text that said "Oh, I had to kiss a girl for one of the shorts I did, don't get mad if you see it"
That really hurt considering he said he'd never do a romantic scene and I did severely over-react, we fought for two days about it, but he told me it was just one kiss, that it was just a quick peck goodbye, and that he would have the filmmaker not put it up so that neither I or any of our friends would see it.
Earlier this week I was bored because I'm out of town with nothing to do and I was googling people. My boyfriend and I got back together shortly after the above incidence, and when I googled him a video came up. I thought it might be something else he filmed since he told me the other video wasn't uploaded.
Turns out it was the video where he kissed the girl, the one he left my house to film. He kisses the girl multiple times, EXTREMELY passionately. He kisses her just like he kisses me. He also is cuddling with her. The whole video was about him being in love with her.
I know most people say it's just acting get over it, but that's not the kind of person I am, and the fact that I've seen him kiss someone else the same way he kisses me really hurts.
When we were broken up (it was for 6 months) I did engage in sexual acts, and I had lied to him about it, but after the first instance of fighting over this video I realized how wrong I was and told him everything. When I saw this video and was sobbing harder than I knew was possible he told me to imagine what it was like for him knowing what I did and how much worse it was.
He did tell me he'd never do a scene like that again, but since has decided that acting is a serious passion for him, so we decided that when roles like that came up and he thought they'd be good for his career that we would discuss them on an individual basis as a couple and that if we felt it was a really good role for him that I would deal with my discomfort.
However, he also told me the video would be removed after the competition it was made for was finished, but that competition ended a week before I even saw the video.
Whenever the video pops into my head I get horrible anxiety attacks, I've lost a lot of sleep over this.
I asked my boyfriend if he could please ask the guy to take the video down and he said he'd talk to him. As this week has progressed however he changed to saying that it was unprofessional of him to ask the guy to take it down. That this was the guy's career and he was very proud of the video and it'd be unfair of him to ask.
Today, I begged my boyfriend to talk to the guy, I can't handle that video being up and when he says those things about the guy's career and all that I feel like that's the other guy's decision to make. I know not having this video up anymore would really allow me to be able to move past it, and so I asked my guy to at least talk to the filmmaker.
I said that I know it's his career and that he's proud of it, but at the very least I would appreciate it if my guy could try and talk to the guy to see if he's willing. I understand that the guy has the right to say no and to leave it up, but that it would do a lot for me if my guy at least put the effort forth. Also, that if he wouldn't take the video down could he at least take my guy's name off it so that when you search for him it doesn't pop up.
My guy is at work, so this is over texting, and I'm also 12 hours away from home, so it's not the most ideal conditions for communicating. However, he sent me a text that said "I sent him a text asking him to take it down please don't talk to me for a while"
This is why he says he's so mad at me...
"Bottom line, you'll never have to experience what I'm going through everyday and you can't handle a BS acting kiss. I've done so much for you, and when I say I don't want to ask Justin to take the video he's most proud of down so no one can see his work, you say "stop telling me you'll so anything for me" It's complete BS, and I don't care to talk to you right now. And although its ridiculous and unprofessional, I still asked him to take it down for you"