Okay, so almost 3 months ago I broke up with my boyfriend. And at first he was clingy and I told him to stop, and that it was bothering me, then I found this site and I learned about the NC rule and I've kept to it.

Then I lost my cell phone and I saw it as a great opportunity to get a new phone number, an he didn't get it.

When he couldn't call me, and he didn't have my sister or our roommates number he just showed up outside our apartment one day. I didn't let him in, and I talked to him briefly, told him that I didn't want to be with him, I'm over you, etc. Being very clear and consistent so that he'd get the message...

Then he started to mail me on Facebook to fight about stupid stuff that we fought about the last couple of months when we were together, so I stopped answering, I even blocked him and his sister. I haven't heard from him in like 5-6 weeks...

But I had forgotten to put my number as unlisted... :( and today he called me from a phone kiosk. :( I answered the phone and I got really pissed at him! I asked him HOW he got my number... and why he was calling and that he should just loose the number and stop bothering me...


What can I do if he continues to bother me? I feel its really stressful to have him hanging around, fighting with me. The whole thought of him just following me around, refusing me to live my life makes me scared, sad... and I've gone out with this new guy a few times, and now I feel I can't do that b'c xbf is EVERYWHERE!

Sounds like a major creeper... you aren't my ex are you? :) Find him another girlfriend so he can focus his attention on her rather than you... he hasn't done anything illegal, just extremely annoying. I don't know...

Tell him that the more he contacts you the MORE it IS a reminder of exactly WHY you broke up with him.

Wow... I wonder if we've dated the same guy! I went though exactly the same thing... I got a new phone, new number, new CARRIER, but he still found me. All the things you said, I've been through.

What did I do?

I had a deep-voiced guy friend of mine call him and tell him to leave me alone. That didn't work.

I then told him that if he contacted me again, I would report it to the police. He did. I filed a report.

I had to file two reports and the police had to call him. That stopped it.

If you're serious about stopping the contact, then you need to take action.

Im sorry I don't have better news! But best of luck!

If it gets to serious restraining orders are your friend. All you really have to say is that your getting scared that your well being is at stake because he has turned into a scary stocker!

I think I dated this guy too! I swear! Change your number again, get it unlisted. Then get a restraining order if he does not stop bothering you. He is crossing the line between sad dumped dude to obsessive stalker dude.

You can get a one time a year free number change if you tell them you are getting harassing phone calls--at least with home phones.
Ask the cell phone provider for their policy.

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Originally Posted by HistorianChick

Wow... I wonder if we've dated the same guy! I went though exactly the same thing... I got a new phone, new number, new CARRIER, but he still found me. All the things you said, I've been through.

What did I do?

I had a deep-voiced guy friend of mine call him and tell him to leave me alone. That didn't work.

I then told him that if he contacted me again, I would report it to the police. He did. I filed a report.

I had to file two reports and the police had to call him. That stopped it.

If you're serious about stopping the contact, then you need to take action.

Im sorry I don't have better news! But best of luck!

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Goddamn, you've got balls.

You're a rare find.

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Originally Posted by slapshot_oi

Goddamn, you've got balls.

You're a rare find.

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LOL! Why, thanks.

It takes guts to stand up for yourself... its hard... it takes a while to "feel good" again, but if you don't stand up, who will?

Thanks, slapshot. I guess the purple belt in karate goes well with my stilettos, too. ;)

I screen all my calls, and return them if they are important, as for the Facebook, ignore him completely as the more you do, the less it will effect you, and under no circumstances let his actions change your life, just be cautious, and aware. If he persists, then you get more aggressive in what you do about it, by making official reports to the proper authorities. Back in the day an older brother, relative, or friend, can carry a stronger message than you can.

Thoughtiwastheman disagrees: If you do this then he'll wait like, lets say 3 months, and all of a sudden he'll feel entitled to your attention and affection because he refrained from acting a certain way when he really want to act that way. Don't give him any hope.

Nah by then he has moved on
If he hasn't and does call again then you ask him what has changed that you would want him back...

First of I want to thank all of you for your advice!

The lucky thing about this guy his that he is extremely non violent and non aggressive, but he is very obsessive. So I'm not scared that he's going to hurt me physically, mentally however...

I was very clear with him yesterday! I told him to delete my number and that I don't want anything to do with him, and then he replied: is it really that bad? And then I said: yes! You're clingy and your annoying and when I think about it I get really pissed off! And then he started to fight with me. So I yelled at him told him to leave me alone. And I hung up.

Good news though, he didn't call me back, and he didn't call me last night. So I'm crossing my fingers.

It is really tiering to have someone like that on your neck. And I'm def taking you guyses advice and I'll tell him that I'll go to the police if he won't quit

The funny thing is that he probably had this scenario in his head when he called me, that if he seemed sweet and caring on the phone then I'd be like; OH, baby I miss you... and so on. b\c he called about a book he has that is mine, but I told him to keep the book, I'll buy a new one. :cool:

If he bothers you again I would tell him in no uncertain terms(calmly as well) that what he is doing is harassment and it is against the law.Tell him you are recording his messages and if he does not stop you will be forced to file charges against him.

Tell him to please move on with his life as you have and remind him how childish he is behaving,

If you do feel threatened please do not hesitate to get an order of protection.

You should not have to put your life on hold for someone who is too immature to accept reality.
Best of luck!

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Originally Posted by roxypox

It is really tiering to have someone like that on your neck. And i'm def taking you guyses advice and i'll tell him that i'll go to the police if he won't quit

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One thing that you have to remember... If you say that to him, you must be willing to do it. If you say it once and he does it again, just to push the limit, and you don't report him, he will know that you're not serious and think that "you couldn't do it because you secretly love him."

Just remember, if you say it, do it.

Hope that this was the end for you and that he's realized that he's being a nuisance. Best of luck!

Thank you! I'll do that.

Yeah it feels a little unfair that I have to avoid places where he might be b\c I fear that if he sees me he'll just hang around me and bother me.

We come from the same town and we live in the same city and over the holidays both of us are going to our hometown. We have a lot of friends in common, and I know that my core friends don't hang out with him so I can hang out with them, but I plan to avoid the clubs, bars and cafes that I usually hang out at there, b\c he hangs out there as well.

Which makes me sad that this is how I've started to think.

He's also throwing a big party next Saturday and all my friends are going, but I'm not. He invited me on Facebook though before I blocked him and I saw that he had also invited my mom... which I can not see the point of. GOSH> hehe

Thanks for the advice artlady, I'll def. do that if he continues, and I'll be calm hehe I think the message will come out better that way :p

(the only problem with staying calm is that he just makes me so angry, just hearing his voice yesterday made me really pissed off! I don't get mad that often, I have an incredible amount of patience, but he spent all of it!)

Oh I'll def follow through if I say it. I'll have to. At first I made the mistake of letting him down easy, but after a week I realized that it was a HUGE mistake! So I just picked a hard line and I stuck with it.

Good.

I really do hope that this is over for you. It is NO fun. Been there, had to do that.

Happy holidays!

Thank you historianchick! :) I hope so to!

Happy holidays to you as well :)