So basically I dated this girl for a year. The relationship was really good at first. She was a really good girlfriend. I love movies ,arts, sports, and she would do it all. As the relationship went on though I noticed our communication was not there I liked to talk in depth and she did not. Plus she was first generation polish and she surrounded herself with polish people I actually met her through a friend. I am german but more americanized and there was a huge culture difference sometimes. Eventually stuff like that started to bother me and I became a jerk pretty much would get angry over stupid things, and try to fight with her. She pretty much took it. I was good to her though at times. I eventually couldn't handle who I was becoming with her, and I broke up with her for a lot of reasons. At first I was cool with it and she still loved me (I think) she would text and call at random times, and I really didn't want anything to do with it. I think I hurt her. Well about three weeks after the break up I started to realize all I did wrong, and how good she was (not perfect). I tried to contact her and apologize for what I did and she ignored me. I felt bad about it ever since and we finally talked like about 2 1/2 months after wards. The conversation was like three hours long, and it she basically said she didn't want to be even friends anymore. Nicely but she was confused or something. The hurt feeling is on and off. Recentley I was doing very well but when I saw a picture of her on Facebook and it all crashed. I basically feel like about the past. The worst part about it she seems to change like she seems different now after our break up. We were best friends and we were dating at the same time. So for the past three months I have been dealing with two break ups. Plus a lot of my friends are gone because of this. I am in a place where I don't want to date her, I want to move on and make new memories, I have said sorry about everything but my heart seems to not want to leave? What should I do?

Chris

The good thing is that you realized that you did wrong. You apologized to her, but she said she doesn't want to be friends anymore. You have to respect her decision and that's the least you can do for her. So, learn from this mistake and move on. It is normal to feel that way because you feel the guilt and you feel responsible for that and you are experiencing a loss. If you want, you can send her a letter or text or whatever saying how wonderful she has been when you two were together. Now that you realized you've taken her for granted you regret it and was deeply sorry. Say that you understand why she doesn't want to be friends anymore and you respect her decision although it's going to be tough for you because you really love her just not treat her the way you should. Say sorry again and wish her well. Goodluck :)

It is always hard to do this. Time is what it takes man. I have been broken up for nearly four months, and I was doing all right... not great mind you, but getting there, you know? Then last night I ran across a pic of her and I and the flood gates opened. It is hard to let go of someone we deeply love and care for, and you cannot make your heart feel any differently, as it is running off emotions. My advice is to respect her decision and also appreciate the fact that you have owned up to your responsibility in the break up. It happens, and EVERYTHING happens for a reason, trust me. Keep moving forward and for God sakes, try and get rid of every tangible item you have that reminds you of her, not throw it away, but store it out of sight. You will be fine in time, we all will. Patience is the biggest obstacle now.

Have a good holiday season! You are never alone, no matter how lonely you may feel. Yes it hurts and it isn't fun to go through, but it will make you a much better person. We all make mistakes, but it is how we deal with them that makes us who we are. Good luck.

Accept its over, and move on, by rebuilding a life that you enjoy, with friends, and activities, will over time make the feelings easier to cope with.

Time is what you need, as you regroup with your life. The last thing you need is any contact with her, and that includes Facebook, or text, or any of that new fangled stuff.

When 2 people break up, they should really BREAK UP. Stop having contact, stop getting in each others lives. Grow up and move on, Why live in an emotional state of chaos all of the time? It serves no useful purpose and just drains you. Others you get involved with suddenly are part of it and that just isn't fair.