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-   -   Dreaming of ex.and some other thing (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=293677)

  • Dec 18, 2008, 05:20 PM
    Flesh
    Dreaming of ex.and some other thing
    Let me give you a summary real quick, I met a girl we dated for like 2 years... we broke up, it was not working... but we decided to try again and dated for another 2 years, again it was real dull relationship and not healthy for either of us. After that we broke-up but continued to see each other for another year, mostly to avoid the pain of being alone and of course because of sex... I finally told her that I could no longer do this, and broke it off, I have not talked to her, well on Dec 28th it will be 3 months.

    Ok so here are a couple of my problems. For one I dream about her at least once a week I did not do this at first but this last month has been just retarded, I mean I have vivid dreams too, sometimes sex, most the time though we are talking and getting along really well, and its like I am with her, and than I wake up and am like oh yeah.. that's how vivid they are, and they make me miss her tons. Its just weird you know.

    Second thing, and this is an actual problem for me, I can not meet anyone at all... I have in all my life never had such a hard time, and its making me really want to call my ex, its like God just give me one chic and I will be over this girl forever, I miss nothing about this girl, she was critical, she used to say things about my hair MY HAIR!! I am clean cut and sexy and this girl would find something to not like about me I swear.

    I have never been so lonely none of my emotional needs are being met, and I am about to go pay a ing prostitute to get laid... ok well maybe not but still what the hell am I supposed to do, I have a good feeling that if I laid my game down I could get my ex to chill with me again, but I do not really want this, I want someone new, but for some reason I just can not pull any chics, and its like ugh, I just feel low and I do not know what I should do.

    To understand the next part you have to get hear this, OK so like I have been with 4 girls in my life and 2 were one night stands one I only slept with twice, and the other was my ex. Now me and my ex had sex not a lot but enough.. like once a week, t :( I have imo been deprived of sex and so I am at 24 a little bummed out about my sexual history, and have a huge fear that I will never get the hot sex my body so well deserves before I get all old and .

    OK now you are ready for the next part

    We really have only been broken up for 3 months, I know I should wait to meet someone, but I do not want to date I just want sex.. I want it because I know if I sleep with another girl I will be over her, I can not explain it but I know I would be. My confidence is just shot right now and I am really having a hard time not just taking a chance and calling my ex... and yeah it probably is just to get laid, and feel special but you know is that really that bad, I need to feel special soon, I need someone to feel close to, and I am 24 and its like man my life is not getting any longer here... I just feel like I am missing out on the best time of my life with women... am I? Do guys in their 30s still have hot sex? What if I die tomorrow? How the hell does one cope with this, cause I am not good at coping, and unfortunately (or fortunatly depending on where you are sitting) sex is one of those things where you need 2 people, and yes I masturbate but um its not really fun you know, no sweat, no kissing, no vagina... yeah masturbating sucks.
  • Dec 18, 2008, 05:53 PM
    kp2171
    First of all... dreaming about an ex isn't uncommon. I've been more than 10 years removed from my last ex and I had a dream about her last week for no good reason. Damn stupid neurons firing. I wouldn't be with her today under almost any circumstances.

    Stop feeling like sex is over for you. Been there myself. After one of the big loves of my life ended in a raging fireball, I thought "am i going to be alone, always???"

    Well, no, dumbarse, not if you get off your sorry, self depreciating arse and live your life.

    Look... I've been where you are.

    I've been ready for that next girl when NONE were around. I didn't date for almost two years after one breakup.

    And then?? Suddenly there were three girls interested in me, and I was interested in all of them.

    Life is wacked like that sometimes.

    I spent day after day just wanting a girl to give a damn about me for month after month... and then, suddenly I'm friggin tortured by having to decide who to date?? Wacked.

    So... hang in there.

    If life was just about getting off we wouldn't seek each other out. Sure, an orgasm can temper the spirit for a time, but you want the attention of another, and that's normal.

    Best I can say is keep busy on yourself, keep active, keep looking.

    I went through a lot of ugly noise to finally find my wife. Multiple crash and burns. Multiple times wondering "what if i dont find another"...

    Get yourself in line. The BEST thing you can do is be grounded in your life. Get a job. Make goals. Focus on yourself.

    There will be a lot of women interested in a man who has half a clue, in good time.
  • Dec 20, 2008, 12:23 PM
    talaniman

    If you have all that time to worry about when your next piece comes from, then your not doing what necessary to have a real life.

    Come on guy, there are just to many things to do, and people to see, to make sex the object of your life.

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