Going to a wedding this month, my little girl is in it and my boyfriend is in it. The wedding colors are ivory and brown. I've never been to a winter wedding, but I bought this really cute black sweater dress to wear.It has a turtle neck and comes down to my knee and is form fitting I plan on dressing it up with jewelry and the perfect shoes.However the bride has asked me numorous times if I still plan on wearing te sweater dress, what is the big deal,I'm not in the wedding, why should she even worry about it. Should I not wear this to the wedding?? Here are some details, wedding is in a small church,at 4 p.m and reception to follow at the holiday inn.So is it really a big deal if I wear this? Help me decide if I need to buy a new dress.(I love my black sweater dress)

Traditionally black is taboo for weddings because it is the color for funerals but all the weddings I have been to in the past 15 years there have been at least 5 women wearing black and even black pantsuits. She may be disappointed to find other women attending her wedding wearing black. It may be best to honor her wishes though since you know she is not thrilled with the idea.

I think black is elegant, and formal attire for the evening, and very appropriate for a wedding. If it is dressed up with some classy jewellery, and maybe a loose gold or silver belt and some bangles. As long as it's not plain funeral black, I can't see what the problem would be at all! Everyone has that plain black dress. It is a staple, and can be dressed up or down to suit any occasion.

I don't understand brides these days, when they figure they can dictate even what their guests wear to the wedding!

I would wear whatever you feel comfortable in. Your boyfriends daughter is in the wedding party, you're not.

It's her day - just humor her. What is the point of upsetting her? I agree that you are perfectly fine and black is very appropriate, but if it upsets the bride, is it really appropriate?

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Originally Posted by stevetcg

It's her day - just humor her. What is the point of upsetting her? I agree that you are perfectly fine and black is very appropriate, but if it upsets the bride, is it really appropriate?

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Sorry Steve ;) I just don't get it! Why should the OP have to go out and buy a new dress because the bride is being pouty? With the economy the way it is, some people just can't afford to go out and buy a new dress, just because the bride doesn't like the color of one of her guests dresses. What's next? Maybe the bride doesn't like purple... or green? I think it's unreasonable (unless she herself is in the bridal party) of a bride to tell her guests what they can and cannot wear. If the bride is focusing on what her guests are wearing, there is something really wrong with that picture, and maybe she could be focusing her energy on other more important things.

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Originally Posted by starbuck8

Sorry Steve ;) I just don't get it! Why should the OP have to go out and buy a new dress because the bride is being pouty? With the economy the way it is, some people just can't afford to go out and buy a new dress, just because the bride doesn't like the color of one of her guests dresses. What's next? Maybe the bride doesn't like purple...or green? I think it's unreasonable (unless she herself is in the bridal party) of a bride to tell her guests what they can and cannot wear. If the bride is focusing on what her guests are wearing, there is something really wrong with that picture, and maybe she could be focusing her energy on other more important things.

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Im not disagreeing with you even a little that the bride is unreasonable. But my point is that the OP should pick her battles and IMO, this isn't one that needs fighting. She isn't wrong at all about wanting to wear her black dress, but in the interest of harmony in a stressful time in the bride's life, why not just concede and accept that she is a little on the crazy side?

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Originally Posted by stevetcg

Im not disagreeing with you even a little that the bride is unreasonable. But my point is that the OP should pick her battles and IMO, this isnt one that needs fighting. She isnt wrong at all about wanting to wear her black dress, but in the interest of harmony in a stressful time in the bride's life, why not just concede and accept that she is a little on the crazy side?

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True enough. I was a wedding planner for many yrs. and saw lots of unreasonable brides. Maybe I'm a little biased. It just drives me nuts when brides think that just because it's "their day" all reasoning and politeness goes out the window. I've seen the "Brides from Hell", and it's mind boggling to watch them turn into Bridezilla's, and just get unreasonable about the smallest detail. I guess I'll just say that if it digs into the guests budget, and she doesn't have another dress in her closet... go with the black, dress it up with color, and she'll get over it! ;)

Everyone is assuming that the problem is the color of the dress, but the OP quotes the bride as calling it a "sweater dress" not a "black dress". Perhaps she has the image of the 80s sweater dress in her head and thinks it won't be dressy enough.

SweetBeth... has your friend seen the dress? Ask her to come over and try it on for her with shoes and jewelry.

I agree that in most cases, the bride should not have a say in your outfit. However she is obviously a very close friend if both your daughter and your boyfriend are in the wedding party. So, I think you should get to the bottom of what the problem actually is before you make a decision.

That is a good idea get the dress, accessories and all together and ask her to come over and help you with making it acceptable or helping you with an alternative idea.
She may feel the style is out or not dressy enough.

I wouldn't just show up at the wedding in the dress though.