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-   -   Basic Adoption questions (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=293427)

  • Dec 17, 2008, 08:45 PM
    GEORGIAGIRL823
    Basic Adoption questions
    So I have a 7&1/2yr old son. He is from a previous relationship. We were not married, but bio father did sign the Birth Certificate.
    He cheated on me numerous times and begun hanging with a bad crowd and doing drugs and such and we broke up and got back together for a while until my son was about 9mths old and I had finally just had enough. I left him for good and shortly after sued him for Child Support. (Which he is always behind in, I go months upon months with no payments)
    Since then for a period of 4yrs I lived at the same residence that he used to come pick me up from every weekend when we were dating. He was never denied to come see our son, he simply chose not to.
    In 2002, six months after we were separated for good, I met my current Fionce. We dated about 5mths then went separate ways.
    3yrs later our paths cross again, only this time we were ready for each other. 3 months after dating we move in together and have been together every since. (3yrs and counting!)
    We had a child of our own in 2006.
    Now we are ready to get married and he wants to adopt my son.
    My fionce has been the only Daddy my son has ever known. He takes care of him in every way and is in every aspect (except biological) his Daddy.

    So what I am wanting to know is what do we have to do to get this going?
    About how much does it typically cost?
    What if it is contested and what grounds would he have as he has not seen his son in over 6yrs?
    If he willingly gives up his rights about how long will it take?
    Also I read you have to be married one year before he can try to adopt him, is this true even though we've lived together for 3yrs?
  • Dec 18, 2008, 05:45 AM
    stevetcg
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by GEORGIAGIRL823 View Post
    So I have a 7&1/2yr old son. He is from a previous relationship. We were not married, but bio father did sign the Birth Certificate.
    He cheated on me numerous times and begun hanging with a bad crowd and doing drugs n such and we broke up n got back together for a while until my son was about 9mths old and I had finally just had enough. I left him for good and shortly after sued him for Child Support. (Which he is always behind in, I go months upon months with no payments)
    Since then for a period of 4yrs I lived at the same residence that he used to come pick me up from every weekend when we were dating. He was never denied to come see our son, he simply chose not to.
    In 2002, six months after we were seperated for good, I met my current Fionce. We dated about 5mths then went seperate ways.
    3yrs later our paths cross again, only this time we were ready for each other. 3 mths after dating we move in together and have been together every since. (3yrs and counting!)
    We had a child of our own in 2006.
    Now we are ready to get married and he wants to adopt my son.
    My fionce has been the only Daddy my son has ever known. He takes care of him in every way and is in every aspect (except biological) his Daddy.

    So what I am wanting to know is what do we have to do to get this going? Make an appointment with a local family law lawyer. Most have free consultations and will be able to answer the cost question.
    About how much does it typically cost? see above - my lawyer estimated about 3000 for our case - central florida, bio-donor willing
    What if it is contested and what grounds would he have as he has not seen his son in over 6yrs? If it is contested, you are out of luck and his grounds are that its his kid and he can do whatever he wants. You might want to pave the way a bit by getting the court to enforce his C/S payments a little more. The idea of getting rid of those encourages a lot of absentee parents to be cooperative
    If he willingly gives up his rights about how long will it take? Depends on your local court schedules. Best guess is several months, but your lawyer will be able to answer this better.
    Also I read you have to be married one year before he can try to adopt him, is this true even though we've lived together for 3yrs? Depends on where you live. Some places have hard rules, some guidelines. Again... your lawyer is the best person to answer this.

    Sorry every answer seems to be "talk to your lawyer" but that's pretty much how it stands as every area is different.
  • Dec 18, 2008, 11:16 AM
    Fr_Chuck

    I will say ask about the cost of the first visit, from personal experience in Atlanta, about 1/3 now have a small charge for the first visit.

    If it is not contested that 2000 to 4000 could be close, most contested will want a 5000 retainer to get started.

    Also normally they will want you to be married a year first, and of course the bio father can come back and state he now wants to start a relationship.
  • Dec 18, 2008, 12:34 PM
    silentdarkness

    Hi. I don't know the answers to your questions, sorry. Just wanted to say how great it is that your fiancé wants to adopt your son, and they obviously have a close father and son bond, even though they're not bio. You're very lucky that you got a second chance at love and having babies! Well done! Hope all goes well for you.
  • Dec 18, 2008, 03:48 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by silentdarkness View Post
    Hi. I don't know the answers to your questions, sorry. Just wanted to say how great it is that your fiance wants to adopt your son, and they obviously have a close father and son bond, even though they're not bio. You're very lucky that you got a second chance at love and having babies! Well done!! Hope all goes well for you.


    Please - it's a legal board. This is not legal advice, as supportive as it is.

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