My boyfriend and I have been living together for over a year now, and it seems like even though we live together and physically see each other everyday, we never spend time together. I feel just like Im living by myself, it gets really lonely sometimes. And yes he listens when I try to talk to him but its like his brain isn't large enough to understand ANYTHING that I say. He thinks we are fine and perfect, and whenever I voice my concerns, or try to have a conversation about what's going on, its like he always got something else better to do. Either that or a fight starts when I say the words " Hun, can I talk to you about something" and he looks so irritated from just a sentence I says. He is off and on in his moods I never know when it's a good time to talk to him. What is going on with me, am I imagining it all about feeling lonely?

He's male. He doesn't want to sit around and talk about problems or feelings. And I suspect he has it made -- total fredom because you do the laundry, the cooking, the dishes, change the bed, etc. etc. etc.-- just like living at home with the bonus of sex any time he wants it.

Take a few days to read the book by John Gray, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. That will help you begin to understand the differences between the ways men and women communicate, and will also help you figure out the best way to communicate with your boyfriend.

Ok I think I will

I'm a man and I like talking about stuff.

So yeah we are not all the typ to zone out when we are being spoken to.

As to most girls wanting to share and talk about feelings
LoL the ones I have been out with could not care less what you think or how you feel.

Ahh quality..

So yeah everyone is different.

You knew what he was like you can't change someone.

That's just it though, he's usually full of life, and loved to talk about everything, and he loved the outdoors, now all he does is sit there, playing xbox, its sort of depressing, I know what I'll do.

Really do something about it, get him off his @ss. If he cared he would.

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

im a man and i like talking about stuff.

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Can you listen to her for longer than 10 minutes while she vents--just listen to her (making the appropriate noises like "ooooooooooooooh" and "oh my" and "tell me more") and not offer one word of advice?

Can you talk calmly with her (not to her) for more than 10 minutes about an argument the two of you had and how to keep it from happening again?

Most likely he is taking you for granted and you are not priority.
He is thinking about what he wants but not considering you.
All he sees you trying to talk things out is nagging.
Let him go and do his thing and if possible you go keep busy
Why should you sit around waiting on him and he is out enjoying himself.

You might be living together, but your not working together, especially since the honeymoon appears to be over, and the drudgery of working things out, and making adjustments begins.

Be patient, and pay attention, because your learning about each other without the feel good of blissful ignorance.

Now is the time to learn each others language, and how to communicate.

I was going to say read men are from mars book because men are mad. That sentence "can we talk" is as if you slapped them across the face according to the book and from my experience not how to start a conversation. Book really helps

Whenever a girl comes up to me and says "we need to talk" I've learned that means "Hey, listen..I'm going to talk and tell you what you are doing wrong and you're going to listen."

Try talking without acting like you're attacking him, which is what that sentence implies to most men.