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-   -   Fathers Rights, Where to Start? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=293359)

  • Dec 17, 2008, 05:20 PM
    Angel1982
    Fathers Rights, Where to Start?
    My Husband has been paying child support for 4 years since his daughter was born. We do extra stuff as well like send money, buy clothes (outside of Holidays), or whatever it is that her mother may need help with. They have never been to court about anything, but she put him on the child support after her daughter was born. We went through a period (before we were married), where she didn't let him see the child because he was in a new relationship. I've treated his daughter as if she were mine since we been together. Now, the mother has moved about 4 hours away from us... We would like to see the child often and have asked the mother to meet us at a neutral meeting spot, where the distance is equal for both parties. She started doing this, but now is saying that she feels like we need to make the trip all the way up there every time that we want to see her. My husband can not reason with this young lady at all. She's told him that we can't see her until we make the trip because her mind is made up. All of this started after the birth of my 4month old son... I need to know where do we start the legal process for my husband to get some kind rights down on paper? What are his rights in regards to his daughter? He is on her birth certificate and has been proven her biological father when he went on child support 4 years ago.
  • Dec 17, 2008, 05:44 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Angel1982 View Post
    My Husband has been paying child support for 4 years since his daughter was born. We do extra stuff as well like send money, buy clothes (outside of Holidays), or whatever it is that her mother may need help with. They have never been to court about anything, but she put him on the child support after her daughter was born. We went through a period (before we were married), where she didn't let him see the child because he was in a new relationship. I've treated his daughter as if she were mine since we been together. Now, the mother has moved about 4 hours away from us....We would like to see the child often and have asked the mother to meet us at a neutral meeting spot, where the distance is equal for both parties. She started off doing this, but now is saying that she feels like we need to make the trip all the way up there everytime that we want to see her. My husband can not reason with this young lady at all. She's told him that we can't see her until we make the trip because her mind is made up. All of this started after the birth of my 4month old son.....I need to know where do we start the legal process for my husband to get some kind rights down on paper? What are his rights in regards to his daughter? He is on her birth certificate and has been proven her biological father when he went on child support 4 years ago.


    I don't understand how the mother "put [him] on child support" without going to Court. Who determined the amount? Clothing and incidentals to not take the place of child support in the amount mandated by your State's Law.

    He should have gone to Court and put everything in writing a long time ago - now he must file for custody/visitation, whatever he wants to accomplish. If there was no custody/visitation order - and there isn't if they never went to Court - the Court is NOT going to order her back to your Town with the child.

    I'm confused - DNA testing was done to prove he was the father but there was no Court hearing?
  • Dec 17, 2008, 05:52 PM
    asheridan

    About the only thing to do here is to get an attorney and get your agreement down in writing in front of a judge or magistrate. Each state has different guidelines but generally in a case like this they would say you both meet in the middle. As her father your husband does have the right to foster a healthy relationship with his daughter and to be a part of her life. The downside for you is that if you are paying less then the state's guidelines for child support you may end up paying more after all is said and done. She probably thinks with the birth of his new son your husband will lose interest and leave her alone if she makes herself difficult enough. It's expensive but a family attorney will be able to start the whole process for you and get the best results for everyone involved. It will be a long haul but keep in mind it is the little girl who is important here and it will all be worth it in the end.
  • Dec 17, 2008, 06:07 PM
    Angel1982
    [QUOTE=JudyKayTee;1435295]I don't understand how the mother "put [him] on child support" without going to Court. Who determined the amount? Clothing and incidentals to not take the place of child support in the amount mandated by your State's Law.

    He should have gone to Court and put everything in writing a long time ago - now he must file for custody/visitation, whatever he wants to accomplish. If there was no custody/visitation order - and there isn't if they never went to Court - the Court is NOT going to order her back to your Town with the child.

    I'm confused - DNA testing was done to prove he was the father but there was no Court hearing?[/QUOTE

    According to him, he received the papers in the mail informing him of her actions to get the child supprot. He then went to a judges office to sign the child support papers for the child support. He never went to court and he said that they never DNA tested him, he just has signed papers saying he's her bilogical father... They NEVER went to a court hearing for this.
  • Dec 17, 2008, 08:12 PM
    JudyKayTee
    [QUOTE=Angel1982;1435337]
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    I don't understand how the mother "put [him] on child support" without going to Court. Who determined the amount? Clothing and incidentals to not take the place of child support in the amount mandated by your State's Law.

    He should have gone to Court and put everything in writing a long time ago - now he must file for custody/visitation, whatever he wants to accomplish. If there was no custody/visitation order - and there isn't if they never went to Court - the Court is NOT going to order her back to your Town with the child.

    I'm confused - DNA testing was done to prove he was the father but there was no Court hearing?[/QUOTE

    According to him, he recived the papers in the mail informing him of her actions to get the child supprot. He then went to a judges office to sign the child support papers for the child support. He never went to court and he said that they never DNA tested him, he just has signed papers saying he's her bilogical father....They NEVER went to a court hearing for this.


    Well, unfortunately he's stuck with the results of agreeing with the mother years ago. He admitted paternity, apparently. My feeling is it very well may be too late now.

    I'm sure he knows he made a mistake, one he has to live with.

    You can always consult with an Attorney but this is a difficult situation to turn around.

    Do you know why he just went in and signed instead of requesting testing, didn't ask for visitation - ?
  • Dec 17, 2008, 08:38 PM
    N0help4u

    He needs to go and file for visitation and make it as detailed as possible about exchanges.

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