Ask Me Help Desk - Child Visitation

Child Visitation

My children would rather hang out with their friends than visit with their father. I do not agree with this, but I was wondering if I can be taken to court by their father, or can I get into any trouble if they refuse to go with him?

My advice would be to talk to the father and get him and your kids together with a therapist to work out whatever is going on that they don't want to go. He could take you to court and accuse you of souring their relationship and it could turn into a nasty expensive legal mess. I'm sure that kids would rather hang out with their friends than do a lot of things but if there is nothing serious going on between them and their father they need to learn that there are times in life we have to do the right thing even when we would rather play. Years from now they will be glad to have fostered a good relationship with their father.

Quote:

Originally Posted by antoinette1969

My children would rather hang out with their friends than visit with their father. I do not agree with this, but I was wondering if I can be taken to court by their father, or can I get into any trouble if they refuse to go with him?

How old are the children?

Quote:

Originally Posted by asheridan

My advice would be to talk to the father and get him and your kids together with a therapist to work out whatever is going on that they don't want to go. He could take you to court and accuse you of souring their relationship and it could turn into a nasty expensive legal mess. I'm sure that kids would rather hang out with their friends than do alot of things but if there is nothing serious going on between them and their father they need to learn that there are times in life we have to do the right thing even when we would rather play. Years from now they will be glad to have fostered a good relationship with their father.

He is an excellent father and a decent man. There has never been any kind of serious problem between them. The fact is their father is just kind of boring. I told them it doesn't matter, they still need to see him. I just didn't know if it was right for me to force them to go, but if I stand the chance of getting into any trouble legally, I will have no choice except to put them in the car myself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

How old are the children?

They are 14 & 16.

Quote:

Originally Posted by antoinette1969

They are 14 & 16.

They are old enough to be heard in Court if push comes to shove so I don't see you getting lambasted by the Judge if they don't visit according to the Court Order. Of course, you encourage the visits and the Judge doesn't have to do what they want to do but it would be a whole lot different if they were, say, 4 and 6.

I see you doing your best and perhaps they should tell their father the problem, school activities, friends, and see if they can work it out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

They are old enough to be heard in Court if push comes to shove so I don't see you getting lambasted by the Judge if they don't visit according to the Court Order. Of course, you encourage the visits and the Judge doesn't have to do what they want to do but it would be a whole lot different if they were, say, 4 and 6.

I see you doing your best and perhaps they should tell their father the problem, school activities, friends, and see if they can work it out.

Thank you so much.

I would suggest they tell their father except I know the kids are his life, it would break his heart. We have never had any kind of problem with visitation or with getting along as far as the kids are concerned, and I just didn't want to start now. We agreed during the divorce that we would never do anything like that. I will have a talk with the children myself and explain that it could cause a problem for me if they don't go, and it could force me into court. They don't want that anymore than I do, they love their father, they are just bored stiff.

So thank you for your help.

Quote:

Originally Posted by antoinette1969

Thank you so much.

I would suggest they tell their father except I know the kids are his life, it would break his heart. We have never had any kind of problem with visitation or with getting along as far as the kids are concerned, and I just didn't want to start now. We agreed during the divorce that we would never do anything like that. I will have a talk with the children myself and explain that it could cause a problem for me if they don't go, and it could force me into court. They don't want that anymore than I do, they love their father, they are just bored stiff.

So thank you for your help.

And they are at a terrible age, trying to balance mom, dad, friends - and separate houses.

Let us know how it works out -

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

And they are at a terrible age, trying to balance mom, dad, friends - and separate houses.

Let us know how it works out -

I will certainly let you know how everything goes.

Thank you again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by antoinette1969

I will certainly let you know how everything goes.

Thank you again.

You don't need an invitation to stop by when you can, see if you can pass along some experience or information. It's a collective effort and what you've experienced may very well help someone else.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

You don't need an invitation to stop by when you can, see if you can pass along some experience or information. It's a collective effort and what you've experienced may very well help someone else.

Visitation is this weekend, so I should be able to post an update shortly thereafter. I see what you mean by a collective effort. It is possible that my experience could help shed light on someone in the same situation... I could only hope.