Hi my husband and I are at our end our 6 year old son who suffers from anxiety. He will not make in schools toilet a bowel movement we have tried everything. We have gone for therapy to help lower his anxiety. Which we have lowered and he is now in therapy too. But he still won't make. I have gone down to school after llunch to try to get him to go but it didn't help. He was diagnosed with encroprisis and we are in middle of a program but he is still having accidents. He will take 6 ex lax squares and still won't go for hours to the bathroom.he is very stubborn the exlax is making him go more often which is good but also bad because he has more accidents in school. We realize we have to now deal with the medical part of his withholding but has anybody ever dealt with a child who will not go in school no matter what and who would rather make in his pants

well, I have a 7 yr old girl who has accidents constantly. We have taken her to the doctor many times and all kinds of tests were done. In the end, the doctors day that she is trying to control when to go instead of going when her body tells her. I know ( more or less) when she needs to go now, she hides or sits with her feet under her. I make her go to the bathroom and she has no problem going. Now that she is a little older ( and you would think would not want to go in her pants) when she has accidents , she is grounded from television or something of the sort for a couple of hours. At first I would reward when she would go on her own and that didn't work for me after a few months of no accidents because she would get a treat (toy, coloring book, etc)almost every day. When I changed the rules after realizing she was controlling the situation we were back to square one and had accidents almost daily. It was so very frustrating for us. The doctor suggested maybe going back to rewarding her but I have found for now that taking things away has worked also. I hope your son can train himself to go at home and the x-lax situation would worry me, he could become dependent on them. Trust me I am not criticizing at all. I hope he gets on track soon.

One of my kids held it like this when he was about 3. I did not do anything, just let him hold it. Eventually, he outgrew it. Is it possible you are making too much of this? I don't think giving him laxatives and fretting so much is a good idea. I would leave him alone and let him go when he wants to unless he is actually sick, in which case he should be home not at school. If he is constipated give him a higher fiber diet, including lots of fruit. But I really think you should stop making this into a federal case... Just my two cents.

PS.

Why do you care where he goes #2?

You sound very anxious yourself, so it's not surprising your son is anxious. I think the whole family needs to relax a bit. :)

Giving him exlax? Why, does he not go at home. I don't know that I ever go anywhere else hardly ever, I go in the morning before I leave for work and sometimes in the evening, I do not go #2 all day at work.

Since it is medical, can he go at the nurses office where it is more private.

Im 30 years old and I still will only go #2 on my toilet. Makes me sick to even think about sitting on a public toilet.

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Originally Posted by spitvenom

Im 30 years old and I still will only go #2 on my toilet. Makes me sick to even think about sitting on a public toilet.

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HAHAHAHA Spitve that is exactly what I was thinking! As a child I never even went #1 in the school bathroom let alone #2. I would hold it all day long!

I'm going to have to go with the majority on this one, too... Why does your child have to go at school?

Is it a medical problem if he doesn't go?

Also, are laxatives OK to give a 6 year old on a regular basis?

I always feel bad for women that have to use a public toilet.

Don't waste your pity. :) Women's rest rooms are WAY cleaner then men's. I hate this move toward unisex bathrooms. Yuck. I hope you aren't one of those men who pees on the wall of the gas station instead of going into the rest room. Stinky.

I agree asking nothing is nastier then walking into a mens room and there is like a half inch of liquid on the floor in front of the urinals. I just gagged a little bit thinking about that.

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Originally Posted by asking

Don't waste your pity. :) Women's rest rooms are WAY cleaner then men's. I hate this move toward unisex bathrooms. Yuck. I hope you aren't one of those men who pees on the wall of the gas station instead of going into the rest room. Stinky.

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I got to tell you that so many of the women's rooms that I go into are absolutely disgusting. The one bathroom used only by women teacher;s at my school can be down right nasty. There is nothing worse then someone who does not flush, leaves "products" all over the place. Its just gross. Give me my own potty any day!

Encropresis is a condition in which children cannot control their bowel movements... this can lead to self esteem issues and more. However, as a 30 year old adult, I don't think I would be able to control my bowel movements after takeing 6 exlax squares... ummm, aren't you only supposed to take those sparingly??

The Encropresis may be a valid diagnosis... but did you tell the doc you were giving him so much exlax?? This is NOT healthy for a 6 year old (or even an adult for that matter). Sometimes as parents we want things to be so right for our kids that WE force them to be wrong. Let your son be a kid. Let him enjoy life, enjoy playing, enjoy being a kid...

If he does not poop in school that should be the least of your worries. My son is 7 and doesn't poop in school either... no biggie. I am 30 and I only poop in public places if it absolutely cannot be avoided.

Seriously, the exlax is harming, not helping. I think the anxiety you have over your son's bathroom schedule is a little overboard. If he honestly has encropresis, then let him go through the program, learn how to cope with it, and don't stress so overboard... things can get better. Normally they will prescribe a medication to help and also teach the child (and parents) how to set up a schedule to help regain control... this does not necessarily mean it has to be suring school time.

Also, lay off the exlax. I find it totally hard to believe that a doc would have a child take so many and if indeed he does suffer from Encropresis and is in his program, then the Exlax should not be needed at this point.

I have to agree with the Exlax route. It has to go bye bye.

I also think that the parents have issues. Bet they believe that one has to go #2 EVERYDAY or someone suffers from irregularity.

Pooping depends largely on what's eaten and when. You;ll find that every individual has their own pooping habit and they vary widely. Also the kind of poop varies widely.

Sometimes 2x per week. Sometime 4x a day.

Give it a rest. Make sure there is an adequate amount of fiber in the diet.

If there is strain in the pooping process, then a stool softener can be used, but IT's BEST to handle it with diet.

Cabbage causes gas. Beets can cause red poop and red urine. Salads are good sources that will lead to looser stools. Corn sometimes doesn't get digested and end up whole in the poop.

Loose the notion of having to poop every day.

Having fear of a public restroom is probably normal for a small kid. So, is not having a restroom available. Portable toilets are probably the worst.

I'll end with this link: http://www.workpoop.com/glossary.html