What do I do about my girlfriend telling me that she wants to date rather have a relationship... together since July this year? She said that I am smothering her even though she sees me only when she wants to... :confused:

You tell her that it means that you are free to do whatever you want too.
I went through the 'only at their convenience with my ex husband and my old bf's. It is a selfish self centered thing where they only think of what they want. They have something better to do they do it. You are at the bottom of the priority list. It is NOT where a girlfriend or boyfriend belongs.
Do you really like the looks of this?
Priority list
1. addictions or hobbies, interests, whatever they happen to be with her
2. friends
3. going places and doing things without you.
4. family
5. the dog or pet
6. you

If she feels you are smothering her yet she is calling the shots then she really isn't into you, especially when she wants to demote the relationship to just dating occasionally.

My thoughts of her goes so far, she just recently started this and I don't know exactly how to really respond. This is due to my own ignorance, and obvious tack in trying to have a real relationship. I really want to be with her, the thing that gets me is why now? Why during the holiday season? Push me away so that she and her baby daddy could have a good time with his family? Give me a break..! My children aren't even here but I was willing to spend the time with her and her family but that's not what she had in mind... help me

Let her have her time now. She is going to take it anyway, but if things don't improve by the New Year it means it isn't going anywhere so give up.

Thanks, you won't believe who I just talked to? Child's mother and she is soooo upset with me right now... and I'm trying to let her know that it wasn't all her as to the reason our relationship failed... it was me too... I'm so confused with so much going on... with the new girl to my baby mama... I just want to cry///damn

Spend time with your kid, and leave the females alone. Give 'em a good holiday.

If she makes you want to cry, then she's not worth having in your life. A woman should make you feel great, if she makes you feel like crap, then she's doing something wrong, and you deserve better... even if better is nobody.