Hi, I'm married and not working at the moment and have not worked for a couple of years because of our particular household situation, but I will be next month and I really can't wait to start making money again. Anyway I have a daughter and my husband is the only one who makes money right now. I don't get child support from my daughters dead beat dad. Anyway my question is my husband has to pay for my daughters clothes and food and stuff. He says by rights he does not have to do anything for her because she is not really his. I feel he should be morally obligated because when he married me he knew I had a daughter. I have not been able to work for 2 years but a marriage is for better or worse right? He needs to accept the good with the bad times. Any advice?

Time for a divorce attorney for a man who will not help raise his famiily, He has a moral duty to help.

He sounds like a jerk, I would be finding a divorce attorney ASAP.

I recently looked into this as my partner was understandably concerned that should we live together or marry, as we eventually hope to do, my ex could possibly claim part of his wage as child support - should my ex want shared custody of my daughter. What I found is that according to child support agency laws within Australia, no man I live with or am married to is under any obligation to support my children. I was actually hugely relieved to hear that news.

As I don't know your personal circumstances, are you dependent on your husband to support your child and do you plan to have children together one day? If you're still both reasonably young and basically starting in building a life together, I would tend to think of you both sharing the entire load... with everything split 50/50 including the support of your daughter. As I don't actually know, you might want to check the legal obligations.

In my case, given both my partner and I have been married previously with two sets of children and property, we tend to see ourselves as building on top of what we each already own and have responsibility for. If we were to live together, my partner would not expect me to pay towards his mortgage (which is what he prefers) yet he would expect that I pay for mine and my daughter's expenses including food, clothing and entertainment etc as well as our share of bills. As I own my own home and rental income would cover my mortgage leaving me with very few expenses, I personally think that's a fair and generous arrangement. In that way I very much see my partner taking on the role of being a provider for 'our' family.

My partner and I also both strongly agree that his original home and mine will remain our separately owned properties that are to be left to our children for their financial benefit and security. We both also want to protect our personal superannuation policies, believing what you earn is your own... where is the motivation to work, otherwise. That doesn't prevent any benefits accrued on retirement being freely shared... it's just that there isn't any obligation or fear it may be lost. However, if we were to purchase a joint property, I would definitely prefer an arrangement where it can be owned 50/50.

I would strongly recommend any couple talk about what they think is a fair financial arrangement, ideally before they get married. I'm also in favour of formalising agreements to make them legally binding. The only reason I feel so strongly about this is because I spent 20 years with someone I always believed could be trusted, so was deeply shocked and disappointed to find how incredibly selfish and careless he was after we separated.

As financial concerns can cause underlying tension and resentment between a couple, I also hope that by having these things sorted, it can free you up to better enjoy your relationship.

I hope this gives you another perspective and something to think about.

There was another post on this and I said the step dad should be paying but others said that legally my answer was not correct and the step dad could go after the biological dad to be paid back.


Does he pay his share otherwise?
I think it depends on how much you want to push the issue.
If he doesn't want to pay then is it bad enough that you want to push it to divorce stage or do you love him enough that you can make do? Since you are starting to work then maybe you should just make your first financial priority your daughter.

I agree, unless your husband is leaving you impoverished, pushing him into a corner and possibly divorce may cause you and your daughter far more heartache and financial chaos than you may want.

You haven't worked for a few years, so am I correct in assuming he has been supporting his family alone, for that time? He should, no doubt, but I'm a bit unclear if his actions are an ongoing thing, or a recent development?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by felicia0923

Hi, I'm married and not working at the moment and have not worked for a couple of years because of our particular household situation, but I will be next month and I really can't wait to start making money again. Anyway I have a daughter and my husband is the only one who makes money right now. I don't get child support from my daughters dead beat dad. Anyway my question is my husband has to pay for my daughters clothes and food and stuff. He says by rights he does not have to do anything for her because she is not really his. I feel he should be morally obligated because when he married me he knew I had a daughter. I have not been able to work for 2 years but a marriage is for better or worse right? He needs to accept the good with the bad times. Any advice?

---

That is his step child. If he is talking like she isn't his problem then you should seriously consider making sure you aren't "his problem" also. Once divorced, I believe it is unlikely that he would be on the hook for child support, but as you aren't currently working I think its likely that you would get some sort of spousal support, at least temporarily.

And your husband is wrong. If he is step father to your daughter he DOES have an obligation to her because I would be willing to bet his is telling the government that he is supporting her (claiming her as a dependent on his taxes)

Steve makes an excellent point. If he has been claiming her as a dependent, then he does have a legal obligation to support her.

When he married you, he took on the obligation to support your children as long as you are married. If you divorce he probably would not be liable for child support, but that's not the issue here.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by felicia0923

Hi, I'm married and not working at the moment and have not worked for a couple of years because of our particular household situation, but I will be next month and I really can't wait to start making money again. Anyway I have a daughter and my husband is the only one who makes money right now. I don't get child support from my daughters dead beat dad. Anyway my question is my husband has to pay for my daughters clothes and food and stuff. He says by rights he does not have to do anything for her because she is not really his. I feel he should be morally obligated because when he married me he knew I had a daughter. I have not been able to work for 2 years but a marriage is for better or worse right? He needs to accept the good with the bad times. Any advice?

---

Your husband has SECONDARY child support obligation after you and her father.You must try to get all unpaid child support.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by felicia0923

Hi, I'm married and not working at the moment and have not worked for a couple of years because of our particular household situation, but I will be next month and I really can't wait to start making money again. Anyway I have a daughter and my husband is the only one who makes money right now. I don't get child support from my daughters dead beat dad. Anyway my question is my husband has to pay for my daughters clothes and food and stuff. He says by rights he does not have to do anything for her because she is not really his. I feel he should be morally obligated because when he married me he knew I had a daughter. I have not been able to work for 2 years but a marriage is for better or worse right? He needs to accept the good with the bad times. Any advice?

---

There has been quite a bit on this board about stepparent liability and the law on the subject is highly variable from state to state. Without knowing where you are it is impossible to give you a definitive answer.

In California your husband would have no obligation for the support of your child, based upon the facts you presented. In other jurisdictions the result may be different.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by cadillac59

There has been quite a bit on this board about stepparent liability and the law on the subject is highly variable from state to state. Without knowing where you are it is impossible to give you a definitive answer.

In California your husband would have no obligation for the support of your child, based upon the facts you presented. In other jurisdictions the result may be different.

---

That is assuming their separation, correct? At the moment I believe they are married, living together and the child in question is in their custody.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by stevetcg

That is assuming their separation, correct? At the moment I believe they are married, living together and the child in question is in their custody.

---

Support obligation exist as a matter of law irrespective of whether people are living separately and apart or contemplating divorce.

Quote:

---

Anyway my question is my husband has to pay for my daughters clothes and food and stuff. He says by rights he does not have to do anything for her because she is not really his. I feel he should be morally obligated

---

I think we all have misunderstood this post, as it sounds as if he is paying, but he is telling her he doesn't have to, to bust her chops a bit, as I can't imagine her still being with someone who IS NOT supporting her child, for almost two years.

I think it comes from an argument over a tight budget. She hasn't been back to clear any questions up, so maybe its resolved.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=3478682