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-   -   Big Deal? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=292414)

  • Dec 15, 2008, 10:46 AM
    neverme
    Big Deal?
    Hello everyone,

    I've been sort of seeing this guy for a while we began as good friends and have moved on from there.. slowly. (for more info look to my other threads)

    Anyway I met him today and went for coffee. We share the same taste in music and he went to a concert last week of a guy we were both dying to see.. so he took some videos on his phone and was showing me. All fine, anyway after he was done I saw that there was a photo of his ex as his wallpaper.

    This girl was a very big part of his life and helped him through a VERY difficult time in his life. She is from a different country and she has since moved home, so all's over between them. Because we were good friends to begin with I know a good bit about their relationship. I know after they broke up he was still in love with her.

    Having said that we are going to a concert in February. His ex and him both loved this singer and since he's from the states he doesn't tour often here. She said that she would come over to see the singer with him and he told her that there'd be no point. I read this as moving on - possibly only partially, but still moving on.

    Now that I've seen his wallpaper I don't know. I'm not too long out of a relationship so I don't necessarily want anything serious but at the same time my emotions are invested and I don't want to get hurt.

    What do you guys think?

    Really need some answers on this one guys so please let me know what you think.

    Cheers!
  • Dec 15, 2008, 11:37 AM
    talaniman

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ve-289552.html

    If this is the same guy, then your allowing yourself to move to fast, and getting to deeply invested emotionally, than is wise, given he has told you he doesn't want, what you want.

    A relationship other than friends is out of the question, so your jealousy, and insecurity, at this time is a sign your getting a bit to deep, and need to keep it casual, or either back off.

    Your still fresh from your own break up remember?

    I am assuming he is the guy you cheated with, or am I mistaken??
  • Dec 15, 2008, 03:11 PM
    neverme

    No your correct in all your info talaniman and what you say.

    Just hard to pull myself back.

    Was I wrong to think he was getting over her?
    Am I mad? :)
  • Dec 15, 2008, 06:42 PM
    talaniman

    You were hopeful, and that doesn't make you crazy, its human. You just need some time.
  • Dec 15, 2008, 06:55 PM
    liz28

    Are you still seeing this guy privately? If so stop because that only complicate and make things confusing only on your behalf.

    From your other post it really doesn't seem like you two are in a relationship. It only seems like you two are friends at this moment and he always warned you that he doesn't want anything serious and no matter what you do you can't change his mind.

    Is he over his ex? You already stated that he wasn't and only he knows. There is no sense for you to get mad over a picture of his ex in his phone because you two aren't a couple.

    You like this guy and is getting your feelings involved and that only crush you down the road. You need to control your feelings for this guy and if you can't you need to step back until you can. This guy doesn't want the same thing as you so it maybe you should find someone that has no hang up over their ex and wants the same thing as you.

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