How do I see myself as beautiful?
Since I was a young child I have always been on the heavy side. I have had to face being called ugly, fat, and much worse from peers and family. I didn't mind my peers calling me names cause that's just what immature children do but what hurt me the most is the insults I received from my family. Today, I am 5 foot 7 inches, weigh almost 200 lbs, and I'm 21 years old. Sometimes I go days without eating, sometimes weeks, because I have the idea of me eating knowing that I am already fat enough. I wear a size 13-14 and I just hate that so much. I use to wear a size 22 but from previous attempts of starving myself, that's why I now wear a size 13-14. I have a man who loves me and I asks him constantly if he sees me as ugly and he always says that I am beautiful. But my question is how do I stop listening to what my family says (by the way all of them are on the plus size too) and believe in my own heart, mind, and soul that I am as beautiful as my man say and more. I hate feeling this way, I want to be able to get out the shower and actually stand to look at myself in the mirror without having to hide all this fat with a towel. I truly hate feeling like this... how can I see myself as beautiful?