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My parents were not married and nor lived together I am now 19 andput off college until I worked and saved money for it and a car.My dad wasmade to pay child support about 3 years ago and before that he never paid anything when he found out iwas working and not in school he got a lawyer to stop the support if I go to college I had to work he is such a deadbeat that he got a lawyer to not pay support or help me with school. I live in Indiana what can I do?
Unless the child support order says he has to pay for your college.
Next please understand while he is a dead beat, why did your mom wait for 15 years to get child support order enforced.
You can consult with a Family Law atty to see what your chances are of getting anything out of your dad. But I don't if you have much of a chance.
What did the child support order say about stopping support - was support to be reinstated if you stopped work and became a full time student?Quote:
Originally Posted by bettas
I don't understand why you were 16 before child support was ordered?
Child support usually stops when the child reaches the age of 18 (an adult), or graduates high school, whichever comes later.
Child support really does not apply to adults unless certain language was put into the support order, which is something your mother would have to request. I am sure only your mother knows why she failed to do so.
Suing your dad is most likely going to put more strain on the relationship, but if you feel you must hire an attorney and go after him, then go for it. Personally, I don't feel you stand a chance of winning a judgment. He should want to pay, and if he doesn't, for whatever reason, I wouldn't beg him, or sue him, and I wouldn't treat him any differently as a result.
To be fair, the fact that your mother waited 16 years to request support probably means that your father didn't get the opportunity, or get to experience the pleasure of helping to raise you, and quite frankly, he might not know you. I know it sounds weird, because he is your father, but do you really even know each other? Just because you are his child does not entitle you to his money - period. I know you feel because he didn't pay child support, except for the past three years, that it is your birthright, but we earn our birthright.
This is my guess. If you are willing to call him a deadbeat dad, it is the title to your question, why don't you go and call him that to his face, and then see how much he is willing to dish out. Not much would be my guess. If he senses, even for a minute, that he's being viewed as nothing more than a dollar bill, he is going to regress… it is a natural human reaction.
You have to give respect to get it.
Love is supposed to be unconditional, that means we are not supposed to allow money to define how much love we are able to give or receive. It doesn't sound like any of that is going on here.
Good luck.
I think we should find out WHY support was not paid until 3 years ago before passing judgement on that issue. There could be some valid reasons.
That is exactly why I didn't mention it.
I am not going to criticize her decision to wait 16 years to request support until I know why she did it.
The reason was that my mom got papers that we had to appear we went17 years and we had to go .He got married and had 2 other children and they don't believe in Christmas so when she was about 8 years m om c alled him and sais it would be niceto get her a little gift I did not know.When he got the papers in 2006 he called and wanted to know why we done this and we said we did not have anything to do with it and wanted us to drop it but we couldn't. The day in court he was mad about it and the judge told him you know I could go back to when she was born and you pay all the back support so if I was you I would lookat it you are getting off pretty good they took blood testsand came back he was the father.During her senior year in high school she had surgery on her knee and was off itfor a while and anyway she planned to go to college and still does but she got a job to save money for it and a car This is December 15,2008 and he had his mom call her work and asked around if she was working and going to school and this is when he got a lawyer so he can stop helping his daughter instead he is doing the most uncaring thingto her as he has not done enough. We live in Indiana and what can she do?Quote:
Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
She didn't wait a law to get dads for non support they both were ordered and he was married and 2 kids my mom and me felt or he called one or 2 times saying he had 2 other kids and he did not know where he was going to get the money for support for his daughter she has been hurt all her life and this son of a------ is caring only for his .He is not a man so how could he be a father?Quote:
Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
You still aren't clear, but it sounds like you mom finally asked for state support and that triggered going after him for child support.
Why she waited for 16 years she asked but would have to hire a lawyer we han no money for a lawyer.Yes you are right about love being unconditional well the parent the adult should try with all his heart to show he loves me I never asked for money I never asked for anything from him and that was just fine with him he did not want to mess his safe little family.I would say he is only interested in not helping me and I have not asked and I won'the is taking us to court to say I am working and not in college.I will wait and see what happens in court.Quote:
Originally Posted by 08_777444
I totally feel your pain..
I'm 18 and did the same thing. The only difference is that my dad had to pay child support since I was 3 and hasn't he owes my mom over 30,000 now he's going to court saying I didn't go to college he shouldn't have to pay.
I didn't go to college because I need his child support to pay for it so now I'm working 56 hrs a week and trying to make it. I don't really have any advise but I wanted to let you know that your not alone and that there is someone else going through what you are.
I'm sorry I can not help you more. Good luck.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bettas
I'm sure you know it now, too late to do anything, but you don't need an Attorney to file for child support in most States, Indiana included.
From what I read child support in Indiana stops at 18 or when the child graduates from high school.
I see no provisions that a father has to pay for college UNLESS it's in an original order of support/custody/visitation.
Also I would have assumed at 16 a certain number of previous years "back" support should have been ordered, if not while he should have paid, the mother had some obligation to go to court and get it.
But in any manner, the child has no standing to sue, the mother has to do any of the legal action.
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