Ask Me Help Desk - Unfit mother proof?

Unfit mother proof?

I am a professional, make a good living and pay well over my fair share of child support. I do it very willingly, however, I would have preferred to have custody because I feell I can provide a better, more stable home. My ex has moved at least 4 times since leaving less than 2 years ago. The first three montsh she was gone she would not even tell me where they were. Later, I learned they were living in a travel trailer following her family all over the US. They now live in a small and from what I hear, run down mobile home. I pay 1800 a month in support and my ex just told me she makes less than 600 a month. She is going to "massage therapy" school and I assume I am paying for that as well. She is on food stamps and when I had the kids last, they appeared to be in shoes that were old, too small and tattered. I got them new shoes. I just want to know if I have a chance in hell of getting custody if I tried. I don't want child support from her and once she gets on her feet I would be open to her having them back. I know she loves them. She just can't provide for them right now. She also has not paid tickets that she got in the vehicle the judge awarded her and now they are going on my credit report. Go figure, can I do anything about that? She still owes money on it but it (the loan and vehicle) are in my name.

Yes you can do something about it. Get an attorney.

How much custody are you wanting to get and how much do you have now ?
Also you might be able to hold her in contempt if she hasn't complied with court orders because she should have changed the name on the car by now so your name and reputation would be out of the loop.
You need a lawyer. As far as full custody goes its not likely unless you have stronger grounds on her being an unfit parent.

Are the kids doing bad in school, are they going hungy, are they dirty and never bathing.
Are there phsycal abuse.

Her being poor is not grounds if it was many parents would never get custody.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Are the kids doing bad in school, are they going hungy, are they dirty and never bathing.
Are there phsycal abuse.

Her being poor is not grounds if it was many parents would never get custody.

I don't think its about being poor, She's making plenty enough money to keep the kids in decent clothes. Im surprised she has qualified for food stamps because she makes too much money from most examples I have heard.

Quote:

Originally Posted by califdadof3

I dont think its about being poor, Shes making plenty enough money to keep the kids in decent clothes. Im surprised she has qualified for food stamps because she makes too much money from most examples I have heard.

There are enough claims for food stamps that a lot go unverified. Its easy enough to lie and get away with it, as far as government claims go. Frankly, when there are kids around, people tend to not care when it comes to providing food.

When I was in the Army in the 90s, every soldier under the rank of Sergeant qualified for food stamps if their spouse didn't work and they had even 1 child. I don't know the actual numbers but I would imagine $2400 a month would be easy enough to fudge down to acceptable levels, especially if she were able to 'sweet talk' someone.

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevetcg

There are enough claims for food stamps that a lot go unverified. Its easy enough to lie and get away with it, as far as government claims go. Frankly, when there are kids around, people tend to not care when it comes to providing food.

When I was in the Army in the 90s, every soldier under the rank of Sergeant qualified for food stamps if their spouse didn't work and they had even 1 child. I dont know the actual numbers but I would imagine $2400 a month would be easy enough to fudge down to acceptable levels, especially if she were able to 'sweet talk' someone.

I don't know how this works in other States but in NY you take your proof of income with you when you file, they verify and you either do or don't qualify. Lately they are also asking for rent/mortgage receipts.

I have a friend with a foster child and she's $5 over the limit. She was referred to a food pantry.

No sweet talking anybody. As I said - must vary from State to State, possibly from Social Worker to Social Worker.