I met this really nice man. He and I hit it off right away. I've never actually met anyone before that I've connected with so well. I'm divorced and I have two kids and I've been burned to many times. I didn't even want to go down this road again but this guy literally showed up at my front door. The problem is, he is a cop, every time we see each other he is on duty. So he cannot ask me out nor can I ask him. But each time we see each other the lingering gets a little longer. One day while we were talking he told me to be safe. It struck a cord with me how sincere he was. The next time he drove two hours out of the way to look at my window, when he could have called and taken a report. He actually wore cologne that time and had just shaved. We've made eye contact, laugh at each others comment's or jokes. He seems to like my kids. But I don't know if this is just a guy being nice or if he wants to ask me out. I haven't even gotten the chance to know him. If he was interested wouldn't he have called; he has my cell number and email? He even showed up at my front door one morning just to check on my family and I. He told me he would be patrolling in my area every day and to call any time. I've also told him he could stop by and call any time as well. Am I mistaking his signs, is he just doing his civic duty?

:confused:

Well how about the next time you see him, ask him if he'd like to stop by for coffee and a bite to eat, sometime after his shift. Tell him that you really appreciate that he has been keeping such a good eye on you and your children, and that you would like to thank him, by extending an invitation to stop by. See how he reacts, and go from there. He might say something like... I'm just doing my job. But you could say, I just want to show my appreciation, and I think you've gone out of your way for me, so I would be happy to share a cup of coffee with you.

(throw in some doughnuts... lol)

I think he likes you maybe in a way more than a cop cares about the people in his jurisdiction. Then again, why are you attracted to him? Can you call and ask him out when he is off-duty? Meet him somewhere and talk, away from your house.

Is he married and lonely? You don't want to get emotionally involved in another woman's husband.

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Originally Posted by Addison08

The problem is, he is a cop, every time we see each other he is on duty. So he cannot ask me out nor can I ask him. :

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I don't understand why he can't ask you out? One of my exes was a cop and he asked me out while he was on duty and even though it didn't work out between us we are still friends to this day.

It sounds like he has a interest in you but someone need to make the first move. Maybe he is scare to get involve with someone.

I think you stated that your exchanged numbers but he hasn't called you yet but maybe you should call him. When you see him do he be by hisself? If so, ask. If no, pull him aside and ask.

There nothing wrong with asking someone out. He can even say yes or no but no matter what the outcome is at least you went after what you wanted.

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Originally Posted by liz28

I don't understand why he can't ask you out? One of my exes was a cop and he asked me out while he was on duty and even though it didn't work out between us we are still friends to this day.

It sounds like he has a interest in you but someone need to make the first move. Maybe he is scare to get involve with someone.

I think you stated that your exchanged numbers but he hasn't called you yet but maybe you should call him. When you see him do he be by hisself? If so, ask. If no, pull him aside and ask.

There nothing wrong with asking someone out. He can even say yes or no but no matter what the outcome is at least you went after what you wanted.

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I don't think pulling him aside and putting him on the spot while he is working, or if he is with his partner is a good idea. He may be trying to keep it professional, which he should, but I think I would keep it low key at first. That is why I suggested just a casual coffee. It doesn't sound like the OP knows much about his personal life. He could be married, or have a girlfriend, but just be a cop that sincerely cares about the welfare of others. We could sure use a lot more of that type out there. (in my experience anyway) I would keep it casual, until she gets to know his "situation."

The reason that I cannot ask him out is because it's a matter of ethics. Obviously he wouldn't ask me out knowing he is on duty and risking his badge. We haven't shared a lot of personal information with each other yet. He just keeps coming around and shares a little each time. It feels to me that he may like me more then maybe just doing his job. I will ask him in for coffee the next time I see him. I always have a pot brewing I don't see what harm it would do. I was flattered that he showed up first thing in the morning to check on me. I've never had anyone do that before. I just do not feel right asking him out while he is on duty.

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Originally Posted by Addison08

The reason that I cannot ask him out is because it's a matter of ethics. Obviously he wouldn't ask me out knowing he is on duty and risking his badge. We haven't shared a lot of personal information with each other yet. He just keeps coming around and shares a little each time. It feels to me that he may like me more then maybe just doing his job. I will ask him in for coffee the next time I see him. I always have a pot brewing I don't see what harm it would do. I was flattered that he showed up first thing in the morning to check on me. I've never had anyone do that before. I just do not feel right asking him out while he is on duty.

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I agree! I don't seem the harm in a casual cup of coffee. You might be able to gauge whether he is interested, with some more personal conversation. He might feel more comfortable with that when he is off duty. Then you could ask a few more personal questions, while still keeping it casual at first. You could ask him about his family, if he has brothers and sisters, etc. Then the conversation could easily turn into whether he is involved with someone, married, available? Then it might be more comfortable and you should be able to tell by his body language if there is more to it, and maybe you could set up a date, as long as he's not involved with someone else. Try not to get your hopes up until you know a little more about him on a personal level. Good luck!

Caution is the first thing that comes to mind, and I would really be looking for him to do more than just stopping by as why chase him, or get carried away by your intense feelings, and growing high expectations, without knowing a lot more about him.

If he were that interested, he would be doing a better job of getting to know you, I would think, and letting you know him.

You had better take this slow, until you have more facts, and can have something other than YOUR feelings to go on.

A chat over coffee sounds okay to me. You can offer and see what happens, but don't call him. Seems he will drop by soon enough.

Thank you, I definitely do not intend on jumping in without thinking. I've gone over everything again and again trying to figure out if I was just imagining the connection. I think there is a curiosity but he is being cautious. I will not call him either, unless I call 911 for an emergency. I'm sort of shy when it comes to calling potential dates, so it's his turn. He has my email and number if he wants to know me or pursue this more he'll have to make the next move. I will be asking him in for a cup of coffee when he does show up again. Which he does so often and so randomly I think he might just show up again too. Thanks for your thoughts, I will be cautious for sure.

Well here is an update.

He came over again. This time someone had been walking on our property and had actually been in one of our campers located on my property. Well we walked my property again and talked for almost an hour this time. He gave me his phone number and told me to contact him if I got any information and/or he'd be contacting me. After he left some stuff happened and I called his cell and left a message. That was yesterday and I haven't heard back from him. Where I live the roads are closed because of a large snow storm so I am assuming he has been non-stop busy for the last 24 hours. I did ask him if he wanted coffee when he was here; but he declined. He said it would make him want to be lazy and hang around all day. We all laughed and he did too, he does seem relaxed when he is here. He was smiling a lot when he was here as well. Even my mom noticed how happy he was.

I do not plan on calling him again. One single message is suffice for me. I'm not into that whole chasing thing. Especially when I know he is constantly working. Somehow I think that we are the same way, we are both analytical. I'm wondering if he is mulling over the idea of asking me out. I mean even my family noticed how he treats me, respectful, interested, and so forth. They seem to think that he is definitely more interested in me then just another person. I asked him if he still had my number when he was leaving, he said he did. I also told him to have a good day and be safe. He said you too. But I started stuttering and almost fell in the snow. So it might have came out "aahalalwah...safe!"...

:o

It was so embarrassing lol.

I haven't commented on your post yet because you were getting honest answers and seemed to really know what to do. You seem to have a great head on your shoulders!

I just wanted to say that I do wish you all the best! Sounds like this guy just may be what you say - he could definitely be taking his time, trying to figure out how to ask you out.

Sounds like it was embarrassing, but probably really cute! :) He'll look back and smile - that's a good thing!

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Originally Posted by Addison08

It was so embarrassing lol.

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I know! Lol. I've been there, and you go to say "how are you?"... and it comes out... hab lah whoo! :o haha!

I haven't seen or heard from him sense. :(:confused: He probably thinks I'm nuts. Lol.

It hasn't been long. He might just be busy with Christmas stuff, like the rest of us. The holidays are always busier with police calls too. Check Stops, accidents, and unfortunately a lot of domestic violence goes on this time of year. So he just might be very busy. ;) I wouldn't worry about it.

I'll try not to. I've finished all my running around until Christmas. So I just sort of have to sit around and think about him until he shows up again. Lol. :cool:

I agree with the others.
Keep him feeling comfortable and enjoying your company and let things develop at their own pace. It sounds like he is interested enough that it may go somewhere. I don't know any cop that will come to my house and say he would be patrolling in my area every day and to call any time.

I can't get one to show up period! LOL!

... actually it really isn't all that funny. The cops where I live are useless!

Yeah, having a cop show up, first thing in the morning, just to check on me.. is unusual. I mean I didn't even call him or 911 that morning. He just showed up out of the blue. He still does randomly show up... I was typing a reply and my power went out. How lucky am I today? LOL.

Hey, it's not so bad. You could've went into your porch to grab the dogfood under your cabinets, and like an idot stood up really fast and slammed your head on the edge of the cabinets, and ended up with your head bleeding and a great big goose egg! Yep... smooth move! ;)