Hi,
Im 20 and have only ever dated guys and frankly, I couldn't see it any other way. But I have always been attracted to women more than men. I will check them out more than men. I mean I guess you could say I might be envious or comparing but I also feel an attraction sometimes.

Ive always enjoyed watching lesbian porn, even since age 14. I consider myself pretty sexually driven. And even though I have a fantasy of one time (or more, who knows?) hooking up with a girl, that doesn't make me Bi right? Because I could never be in a relationship with them... but is this normal?

I don't know what to think of myself..

Why do you feel you could be sexual with them but not be in a relationship with them?
I have been trying to figure out for a few years now how so many young people are saying they are having same sex relationships but swear they are NOT bi sexual. Many people say they are but they are in denial. I think it is something else. Maybe the way school and Hollywood is conditioning people to see things now or what I don't know but the old school way of thinking is that if you are able to be sexual with the same sex you are gay or bi. Some even claim that if you even think they look attractive that you are bi or gay but I think that is extreme.
I think that if you can hug and kiss in a sexual way then you are at the very least bi.

Its sounds as if intellectually you are attracted to men but emotionally to women.
You have stated that you could not be with a female and yet clearly you desire women.

I realize ,even in our enlightened age some people are still homophobic but you can't and should not have to spend a lifetime living a lie to make others happy.

You have to live your own life,no one else has to walk in your shoes.

No one can answer your question except you and that would involve a lot of soul searching and putting your prejudices aside.

I think it is normal to have same sex attraction but ,for girls this happens frequently in the teen years.

I am not sure I really buy into that Bi thing as it just feels like an excuse to not take a stand one way or another... just my opinion.

Maybe you should seek counseling ,if it is at all feasible, as this is a serious matter that can affect your entire life and should not be taken lightly.

Best wishes!

You are attracted to women, yet have mostly sex with men (in our society), people would call that bisexuality, I would say that that you feel hetrosexual sometimes while not at other times, to me it sounds like the old "grey area" of sexuality.

I don't agree with the concept of 100% hetro, or 100% gay business. You are you-accept it. If you turn out that you feel more bisexual-who CARES?

I think you are scared-of YOUR OWN sexuality. Move on-you'll be fine.

It is possible that viewing porn at such an early age has effected your sexuality in a negative way... that is trained you to have feelings and desires that were not there in the first place. That can happen when you view porn at too young an age.

I would recommend taking a vacation from sex and porn for a few months and, without dwelling on sex, see what natural feelings come to the surface.

The problem with porm and living in an overly sexualized culture is that we begin to think that sex is the end all and be all of life... there are many other activities that are pleasurable... sex is just another pleasurable activity.

Anyway, you are not a homosexual or a bi-sexual unless you have propositioned a female or had sex with a female, in my opinion. All the rest is fantasy. IN addition, without the use of alcoholic beverages. Be the real you!

Take care and enjoy your life. :)

Porn has nothing to do with it.

All it might be is a curiousity. A fantasy that you might not even like if you ever tried it. Its perfectly fine to leave a fantasy be a fantasy and nothing more.

Leave alcohol out of things. It only causes problems.

Porn does tend to get a person thinking more in the same vain and pulls them into the fantasizing along the lines of the same type thing as they watch so I agree with Choux.

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

Porn does tend to get a person thinking more in the same vain and pulls them into the fantasizing along the lines of the same type thing as they watch so I agree with Choux.

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Not me... its never pulled me towards anything I didn't think about before I saw porn on the topic.

Watching gay porn for example isn't going to turn a straight guy into a sausage smoker.

For the most part but some people are easily influenced and all and I know many younger adults and teens that already have the anything goes approach to sex and all.

We are NEVER all going to agree on the subject of porn.

Let's each just voice our opinion on it ONCE per thread, and then let the OP decide for themselves how they feel porn's influence.

Please save the arguments about it for threads SPECIFICALLY asking about porn.

An important distinction is infuence vs... persuade

Sure young people can be influenced, but they can be persuaded far easier. That's why there are age of concent laws to protect them.

Don't confuse persuade wit hinfluence... and they can mean far different things even though there is a degree of overlap.

I'd say a sexual attraction to another woman does make you bi at least. But there is nothing wrong with that. Whether u decide to act upon your attraction or not is your choice. No one is forcing you to come clean about your sexuality.

I'd say that it makes you bi as well, but it's not bad to be bi... my sister is gay and our roommate. And my sisters girlfriend used to spend a lot of time persuading herself; I;m not gay, I;m straight. It didn't change the fact of the matter.

I do hope you're able to come to grips with it and be happy with it :)

If you think you might be BI then give it a go, see how you feel afterwards... oh and take plenty of pictures:D

Everyone raises great points, minus the picture taking haha but a significant part of my question hasn't been addressed...

I have a boyfriend of 3 years, and am fully attracted to him. And if I did make out with a girl (which I havent) I wouldn't consider that cheating... so am I in the clear?

Maybe it is just a fantasy, but this thread has made me wonder..

Also not only porn, but when I was younger my older female cousin used to kiss me a lot, and being younger I was persuaded into it, but it did freak me out at the time. My cousin isn't a lesbian now but it makes me wonder if that had somehting to do with it?

Oh don't underestimate the lessons that pictures can teach you. How else to capture the moment? To make you reflect upon your emotions at that moment? I've got a great camera if you need some help with that.:D

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I have a boyfriend of 3 years, and am fully attracted to him. And if I did make out with a girl (which I havent) I wouldn't consider that cheating... so am I in the clear?

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Cheating is cheating,just because it is same sex cheating doesn't make it any less so.
If your BF had a male on male encounter,would you consider that *not cheating*?

Cheating is being intimate with a person outside of your relationship.

I would say that you're just curious, except for the fact that you say you're more attracted to women than men. You definitely sound as if you might be bi- the next thing I'm going to say is that this isn't really a big deal. Maybe you'll never connect with a woman in a way that would make you want to be sexual with her, maybe you will. Having sex with either gender while involved with another person is still cheating, however.

You are bisexual if you like both girls and guys. Dating doesn't determine whether you are bi, straight or gay. It just depends on who you are attracted to. I don't date but I still know that I am straight because I'm attracted to guys. The same goes for you. You don't date girls, but you are attracted to them and also guys so you are bisexual. It's normal to think this way in my opinion you don't have to go out with someone to like them.

Your with men, but you find women attractive as well but never acted out on it. I do not know if that makes you bi or not. As far as the porn. That is another subject. Does not have anything to do weather you are bi or not.

This is an answer you need to find within yourself. Many teenagers have experimented with the same sex but does not make they lesbian. So I would say that your heter,. If one day you find yourself in a relationship and being with the same sex sexually then I would say then your bi.