Gay or Bi ? I'm so confused
I’m a college student 21 years old and have a very emotional/physical attraction to my roommate. I have come to the realization that I am bi-sexual, however I am befuddled when I try to figure out whether my roommate is gay or bi. We have been roommates since about a year and half ago and the signs that he is gay or bi are an everyday occurrence; or it seems this way too me. He has been in a long relationship with his girlfriend off and on for the past two years as well. But some of the signs: he always touches other guys... if they are lying in their bed, usually he will join them. Other little things like getting up too leave dinner and he will lean in with whomever he is sitting by and act likes he wants to kiss them as they are getting up. One of my friends was reading an ESPN magazine with a guy on the cover and my roommate said he was cute. Now, the happenings between him and me. Since we are roommates we are constantly by each other, when I am watching a movie on my computer he will come sit very close to me, usually laying his on my shoulder for a minute or so. I have slept in the same bed with him for a night, and he didn’t act as if he cared. He told his g.f though, so I didn’t know what to think of that. Allot last year he told me he loved me, and most of the time on breaks I will tell him I love him, and he will text back the same. Now its Christmas break again and I feel the same feelings towards him. I am currently in a relationship as well with a girl and he understands this. It seem as though it’s a "switch" with both of us... around people we are straight... there is a gay couple in our dorm and when they are made fun of by our friends we usually chirp in as well. The other night I was working on HW and he curled up in my bed. I rolled my chair over there and kind of "lay" there with him in my chair. During this time my mom called and during this conversation I kind of rubbed his back and touched his arm for about 4 min. When I got off the phone... we sat there and talked and during this time I played with his hair and teased him about his beard, he played with my shirt and also twirling my hair with his fingers. Eye contact during this time was on my part intimate... on at least 2 occasions we kind of looked into each other’s eyes and one of us would usually stop it when it got past like 5 sec. It seems so hard for me to think a straight guy would do this and countless other things I have not typed in this question. When breaks such s thanksgiving, Christmas, spring break, and summer are approaching it seems as though he makes an effort to be by/with me and to make our time together meaningful. I want to tell him so bad how I feel, and I had such a peace of mind the other night, because after the chair bed incident I thought there was no way a non-gay bi person would do that. He does have 3 sisters so I’m not sure if that has anything to do with how he acts. He does tell me/friends that, that girl is hot, and "who wouldn’t be cut friends with her". So, those type things frustrate me and seem too confuse me more. We have discussions about our g/f's and deep life issues, and our friendship is fairly deep. When I’m not around him I feel a great deal of heartache... it seems as though he can turn on and off the switch when we don’t see each other for awhile, but it’s so hard for me. If I do open up and tell him, it could destroy everything we have; so I’m not sure what to do. I love my girlfriend, but it seems as though I connect on a more emotional level with him. Is he gay? Any advice to for me? :confused:
