Boyfriend of 2 1/2 years cheated and dumped me, how can I move on and start feeling better?
My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years ended things with me about three weeks ago. I'm having a hard time excepting things and understanding why this happened. If anyone has adivce on how to move past this, thoughts on why things played out the way they did or has gone through a similar experience I would appreciate it!
Here's the story... We had a great relationship and even talked seriously about marriage. Really the "best-friends" type of love. I never doubted his feelings for me and we honestly got along really well, supported each other and laughed often. The sex was great for both of us for the vast majority.
About three months ago we had our first "serious" argument. No names were called or anything hurtful said, but it was about our sex-life and I initiated it. The problem was I wanted more tenderness and romance (something he did not express sexually very often) and he wanted to full-fill his fantasy of seeing me with another man. (I did not want to do this and was upset that he would, thinking it meant he did not care about me).
We made up that day and though our intemacy became akward directly after that, everything else in the relationship was great. About two weeks later he went to Jamaica for a work trip for 5 days. When he returned things seemed to go back to normal and he seemed happy. Within the next three weeks we began arguing again about sexual things. He wanted more "passion" from me and I agreed we had gotten into a rut.
After that time, everything improved a great deal. We began talking about marriage again and moving in together. And we both agreed we had re-kindled our sexual spark.
Then three weeks ago he got laid off from work. He was upset and went to visit his parents. While he was away he did not contact me and would not return my calls/ or texts. Then I received an email saying he thought we should be friends because he was not stable due to his job sitchuation and he was considering leaving town for better job opportunities. He closed the email saying this was just a thought and wanted to talk to me face-to-face and was unsure if he would be able to be separated from me because he still loved me very much.
When he returned we spoke face-to-face. He said he had doubts about our relationship because of our recent arguments he felt like we would continue to fight in the future (even though we had "made up") We were both upset (he even cried too, saying he hoped he wasn't making a mistake) and he still said he loved me very much.
About a week after our break up I found that he had a secret MySpace account with a bunch of pictures of him and another girl kissing. He had a blog saying he met her while on his work trip in Jamaica (three months ago while were had been dating!) and she was now moving in with him!
I confronted him about it and he confirmed it was true. He said he just had doubts about our relationship. He said when they met they just fell for each other and at the same time he was falling out of love with me. She does not live in our area, but he said she had traveled to be with him once and he had visited her at the time he said he was at his parents'.
In the past three weeks he has contacted me saying that he misses spending time with me and he feels terrible for cheating and that he still really cares for me. He has even cried when he talks about ending things with me and still says he hopes he didn't make a mistake. He said he wants to make things work with this new girl though and hopes we can be friends.
I just feel so confused as to why he would choose to end our relationship over what I can conclude only as a sexual rut, and why he continues to contact me and second guess his choice to break up. I'm also hurt at how fast he has been able to move on and wonder if he is really happy with this new girl since he still continues to contact me. A part of wishes he would try to make things work with me, I feel like that is not truly his intention but I'm having a hard time moving on.