Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   He said I love you (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=290589)

  • Dec 10, 2008, 10:03 AM
    mv2008
    He said I love u
    Hi I am a single mother of 2 and in a relationship with a great guy. Everything I want I can see in this wonderful man. Well we have known each other socially for about a year, but we have only been dating a few weeks. He asks me how I feel about things and last night he sent me a text that asked " what would your thoughts be and what would you say if I said I love you?". Well the only problem with that is I don't take throwing the L word around very lightly. In fact I am very cautious about it. I am sure that I am falling in love with him but I am not quite ready to say " I love you". How should I tell him so he understands without pushing him away? At this point I am up for any suggestion!:confused:
  • Dec 10, 2008, 10:48 AM
    Scleros
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by mv2008 View Post
    ...last night he sent me a text that asked " what would your thoughts be and what would you say if I said I love you?".
    Ick, are you kidding me? He's asking your permission. In that situation, my response would be "It's so hard to speculate, I had always figured you'd surprise me during an intimate moment we were sharing and that you'd be sincerely staring deep into my eyes when you said it. This whole feeler-by-text has thrown me for a loop." I'd probably also tell him to "grow a pair" or some such.

    However, to avoid crushing his ego, a text something along the lines of "I truly appreciate the sentiment, and I deeply care for you too. See you soon." may be more appropriate.
  • Dec 10, 2008, 10:56 AM
    wolfgangqpublic

    Just make sure to tell him that things are going great, but because of your past you need more time to feel comfortable reciprocating. Make sure to say that at the current point, you sure hope that you will be doing so!
  • Dec 10, 2008, 11:08 AM
    dazzling

    What kind a guy texts a question like that?

    Either someone very insecure or someone who wants to play it safe and find out how u feel before he jumps in.

    U should't anwer the text at all or bring it up. Pretend like u never got it.

    WHen u see him next, if he (not u) brings it up.. then casually say... "that is so charming... I have deep feelings for u too and like to see where this goes..."
    Do not at any point, say u love him (unless u really mean it)
    And remember asking your permission to say he loves u, is not the same as loving u.
  • Dec 10, 2008, 12:01 PM
    debdoes

    Hmmmm... I had a guy tell me that after 3 weeks of dating before and it turned me right off. That was the end of that brief relationship!It's not a word I throw around very lightly either. But my ex told me that as well after about a month. And I stayed with him, probably because I did love him and not the other guy.
  • Dec 10, 2008, 03:40 PM
    DonaldM_23

    That question is tricky, sometime male or female throw a curve ball question to see how you are emotionally in a relationship. My experience in relationship is pretty simple if you feel it say it. Don't read between the line, just let him know that your not ready to enter that stage of the relationship yet. Let him know that things are going smooth lets enjoy the ride.
  • Dec 10, 2008, 06:38 PM
    neverme

    Tell him exactly what you told us. You don't throw the L word around, although you do feel you're falling in love you are not quite there yet.

    I know if it was me it might be hard to hear but I'd be glad that the person I was with was honest with me and respected love and using that word so much.

    (then again I'd never say it within a couple of weeks of seeing someone) :p
  • Dec 11, 2008, 12:47 AM
    talaniman

    Quote:
    " what would your thoughts be and what would you say if I said I love you?".
    I would be cautious after a only a few weeks.

    Ask him what does he mean, and have the conversation with him, but stick to your own beliefs.
  • Dec 11, 2008, 04:05 AM
    frangipanis
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by mv2008 View Post
    Hi I am a single mother of 2 and in a relationship with a great guy. Everything I want I can see in this wonderful man. Well we have known each other socially for about a year, but we have only been dating a few weeks. He asks me how I feel about things and last night he sent me a text that asked " what would your thoughts be and what would you say if I said I love you?". Well the only problem with that is I don't take throwing the L word around very lightly. In fact I am very cautious about it. I am sure that I am falling in love with him but I am not quite ready to say " I love you". How should I tell him so he understands without pushing him away? At this point I am up for any suggestion!:confused:
    Having known you for a year he may well have fallen in love with you already. Once you start a relationship, it becomes a series of reality tests. I guess he's getting his first dose of reality. Even so, couldn't he have said 'i love you' when you were together?? Not sure what texting is all about as I've never been that comfortable with it. Especially when you're telling someone you love them for the first time! If that's where we're at these days, it's got me totally confused. I sound so old lol

    • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:18 AM.