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-   -   Wife's New boyfriend Beat his son in front of my 6yr (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=290475)

  • Dec 10, 2008, 12:29 AM
    chilly2010
    Wife's New BF Beat his son in front of my 6yr
    I live in Southern California La County

    I have 3 children boy 6yr girl 5yr and boy 3yr and Stepdaughter whom just turned 17

    All 3 have pretty much been with me from March of 07 until Aug 17th when she took my 3yr & 5yr & has kept them from me & my son/there 6yr brother.

    She is doing this because she found out the DA opened a Case for Child Support against her. She told me that the DA has told her to keep the kids until something is in writing.

    My son whom she last saw back in July has informed me that the mothers boyfriend Made his 13yr son go outside & get a stick that he then came in & gave to his father whom beat him with it. My son also said that it must happen allot because the son knows what to do, Meaning going outside & getting a stick & them coming in & bending.

    My Ex has confirmed this happening & said the boy did something bad.

    Looking up this guy on the county’s website I find that he was arrested in 2007 on 2 counts of
    INFLICTING CORPORAL INJURY ON SPOUSE/COHABITANT & BATTERY:SPOUSE/EX SPOUSE/DATE/ETC he beat his wife to whom he is still married to & of course she did not show up in court to the charges were dropped.


    Would a judge really give full custody to a woman whom has pretty much placed her kids in harms way? I could be next week it could be a year from now, This guy has a pattern of abuse & Iam now about to give him a chance in hell as having my kids be his next victims.


    Any advice would be great


    :mad:
  • Dec 10, 2008, 12:56 AM
    jess85w
    I can suggest a few things to you. 1: Get your son to a councelor so that it is in writing that your son has seen this happen and you think its best for him to be in counceling where he can speak freely about things so it doesn't look like your brain washing him. 2: Contact child protective services and tell them EXACTLY what your son has said to you. THAT IS 100% CHILD ABUSE. I know this for a fact. The ONLY way you can hit a child is with a open hand and it HAS to be on their bottom. 3: IMMEDIATLLY get your behind to court and fight for custody. IF in fact that man is hitting his kids with objects and has a record of it then if she refuses to keep the kids away from him then YES that IS endangering the welfare of a child and she can lose her kids. I hope that I was of help.
  • Dec 10, 2008, 06:11 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by chilly2010 View Post
    I live in Southern California La County

    I have 3 children boy 6yr girl 5yr and boy 3yr and Stepdaughter whom just turned 17

    All 3 have pretty much been with me from March of 07 until Aug 17th when she took my 3yr & 5yr & has kept them from me & my son/there 6yr brother.

    She is doing this because she found out the DA opened a Case for Child Support against her. She told me that the DA has told her to keep the kids until something is in writing.

    My son whom she last saw back in July has informed me that the mothers boyfriend Made his 13yr son go outside & get a stick that he then came in & gave to his father whom beat him with it. My son also said that it must happen allot because the son knows what to do, Meaning going outside & getting a stick & them coming in & bending.

    My Ex has confirmed this happening & said the boy did something bad.

    Looking up this guy on the county’s website I find that he was arrested in 2007 on 2 counts of
    INFLICTING CORPORAL INJURY ON SPOUSE/COHABITANT & BATTERY:SPOUSE/EX SPOUSE/DATE/ETC he beat his wife to whom he is still married to & of course she did not show up in court to the charges were dropped.


    Would a judge really give full custody to a woman whom has pretty much placed her kids in harms way? I could be next week it could be a year from now, This guy has a pattern of abuse & Iam now about to give him a chance in hell as having my kids be his next victims.


    Any advice would be great


    :mad:

    Go back to Court with your proof and request a change in custody and/or visitation - the Court can order evaluations of all parties and then will make a determination as to what is best for the child.

    Do it now if the child is being abused.
  • Dec 10, 2008, 07:20 AM
    Fr_Chuck

    Well, OK what did the kid get what we call in Georgia "switched" it is less harmful than a spanking many times and is done all the time. It is not a beating but a minor swat that stings more than anything else,

    So without knowng what harm was actually done I would suggest that there is no crime at all unless it was done too seriously, the same as a normal spanking would be.

    The courts could view this as a good parenting style and if the child was learning to behave perhaps be told a good job. In fact I have heard judges here in GA tell parents they should have taken the child to the "wood shed" a few times and they would not be in the trouble they are now.

    I guess my question is why has no one went to court for a custody order long before now.

    But yes, the judge could easily still give custody to the mother
  • Dec 10, 2008, 07:51 PM
    chilly2010
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    well, ok what did the kid get what we call in Georgia "switched" it is less harmful than a spanking many times and is done all the time. it is not a beating but a minor swat that stings more than anything else,

    So without knowng what harm was actually done I would suggest that there is no crime at all unless it was done too seriously, the same as a normal spanking would be.

    The courts could view this as a good parenting style and if the child was learning to behave perhaps be told a good job. In fact I have heard judges here in GA tell parents they should have taken the child to the "wood shed" a few times and they would not be in the trouble they are now.

    I guess my question is why has no one went to court for a custody order long before now.

    But yes, the judge could easily still give custody to the mother
    This 13yr was beat with a stick, it was my 6yr whom told me of this & it was only then confirmed by my ex. My son said he swung the stick like it was a baseball bat.

    My ex is only seeking Custody because she found out the DA opened a Case against her for support. Since that time she has kept my 5yr girl & 3yr boy from myself & my 6yr son there big brother.

    My 6yr lives with me & goes to school 2 blocks away, She is even willing to pull him out of school just to prove to the DA that she does have all 3 kids.

    She is sick & clearly does not have my kids best interest in mind
  • Dec 10, 2008, 11:04 PM
    cadillac59
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by chilly2010 View Post
    I live in Southern California La County

    I have 3 children boy 6yr girl 5yr and boy 3yr and Stepdaughter whom just turned 17

    All 3 have pretty much been with me from March of 07 until Aug 17th when she took my 3yr & 5yr & has kept them from me & my son/there 6yr brother.

    She is doing this because she found out the DA opened a Case for Child Support against her. She told me that the DA has told her to keep the kids until something is in writing.

    My son whom she last saw back in July has informed me that the mothers boyfriend Made his 13yr son go outside & get a stick that he then came in & gave to his father whom beat him with it. My son also said that it must happen allot because the son knows what to do, Meaning going outside & getting a stick & them coming in & bending.

    My Ex has confirmed this happening & said the boy did something bad.

    Looking up this guy on the county's website I find that he was arrested in 2007 on 2 counts of
    INFLICTING CORPORAL INJURY ON SPOUSE/COHABITANT & BATTERY:SPOUSE/EX SPOUSE/DATE/ETC he beat his wife to whom he is still married to & of course she did not show up in court to the charges were dropped.


    Would a judge really give full custody to a woman whom has pretty much placed her kids in harms way? I could be next week it could be a year from now, This guy has a pattern of abuse & Iam now about to give him a chance in hell as having my kids be his next victims.


    Any advice would be great


    :mad:
    I'd recommend being fairly aggressive about this. I don't like hearing of kids being subjected to corporal punishment of the kind you described or other kids witnessing it.
    First, make a CPS report about the mom's boyfriend. If he's already had a DV conviction, he's probably under an order (as a condition of probation) not to re-offend and possibly not to use corporal punishment on his own children. Maybe they can revoke his probation over this. Who knows? Plus, his own kid might be in danger so let CPS do its thing and check it out.

    As to your own kids witnessing this? Most judges would not like that at all. Obviously you need to go into court and get custody orders. You should ask for sole legal and physical custody of all of the kids with supervised or limited visitation with the mom. A condition of mom's visitation should be that her boyfriend not be allowed to be around your kids. Period. He's got a criminal conviction for DV and he beats his own kids in the presence of yours. That should be enough.

    The final question is how soon do you need a hearing. I'd say apply for this ex parte (that is with minimal --like 24 hours notice). Each county has a different procedure for how to do this so check the local LA County Rules of Court. You might not get the ex parte hearing (you have to show either immediate harm to the children or an immediate risk the kids will be removed from the state for an ex parte hearing on custody--Family Code Section 3064). If the mom had perpetrated the corporal punishment on the kids then you definitely would qualify for the ex parte. Someone else did it to to HIS OWN kid and that is not exactly the same, even if your kids witnessed it. But who knows, maybe your kids will be the next victims? Some judges might grant an emergency hearing so I'd give it a shot. You have nothing to lose. Alternatively you should ask for an order shortening time (OST). This would help you get into court earlier that the usual month or two it takes to get in.

    You'll have to mediate the case and LA is a called a "confidential county". That means that the judge won't hear about what happens in mediation unless you have a full agreement. The court provides mediation for free (at least the first time) and you will probably mediate in advance of the hearing (I practice in Northern California in a "recommending county", which is different in that our mediators make recommendations to the judge if the parties don't agree on things discussed at mediation).

    Do something right away. Your kids should never have to witness domestic violence.

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