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-   -   Have to testify against ex friend in child abuse case (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=289935)

  • Dec 8, 2008, 05:46 PM
    jennalynn1969
    Have to testify against ex friend in child abuse case
    I am being summoned to testify against a friend (ex friend) in a domestic violence case where she hit her son. After this happened she texted me and said what she had done in respose to me texting her multiple times to call me. I think the text was to get me to go away really just to have me side with her as she claimed her son was high at the time. I saved the text and called the prosecuting attny after finding out my friend was denying ever stricking her son and he needs someone to stand up for him. All text messages were sent to the attny and will be given to my (ex) friends attny and I am a lot worried that she could be so mad that she may cause me harm. I know he carries a pretty large knife and she has bragged that her friends have guns. One on one with no weopans I could hold my own but not if anything else comes into play. Are there any ways legally to protrect myself before court and after if she suffers from her actions?
  • Dec 8, 2008, 06:43 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jennalynn1969 View Post
    I am being summoned to testify against a friend (ex friend) in a domestic violence case where she hit her son. After this happened she texted me and said what she had done in respose to me texting her multiple times to call me. I think the text was to get me to go away really just to have me side with her as she claimed her son was high at the time. I saved the text and called the prosecuting attny after finding out my friend was denying ever stricking her son and he needs someone to stand up for him. All text messages were sent to the attny and will be given to my (ex) friends attny and I am a lot worried that she could be so mad that she may cause me harm. I know he carries a pretty large knife and she has bragged that her friends have guns. One on one with no weopans I could hold my own but not if anything else comes into play. Are there any ways legally to protrect myself before court and after if she suffers from her actions?


    Have you expressed your concerns to the DA? A protective order may be an idea - if your friend decides to obey it.

    Does the DA NEED your testimony? Is there a possibility she will simply enter a plea and they won't need you?

    This is, unfortunately, a problem with testimony in all Courts, at all levels. I've seen witnesses to accidents threatened. I'm sure some small percentage of people carry out the threats but most of the people I run into like to hear the sound of their own voice and think intimidation is the key -

    Talk to the DA.
  • Dec 8, 2008, 06:56 PM
    Couchcarrot
    Having been an investigator of child abuse, both physical and sexual, during
    Part of my career, I must tell you the first priority in this fiasco is the safety
    Of the child. In my state, the child must be under 18 years of age to be
    Considered a victim of child abuse. How old is your friend's son, since you
    Said she told you he was "high" during the incident. Additionally, in my state,
    You would only be able to testify to what you actually witnessed, either
    Her having struck him at any time or of marks or bruises on his body you have seen.
    Testifying to what "she told you she did" would be considered "Hearsay"
    And not entered into evidence.

    You indicate that she brags about her friends having weapons, but has she
    Ever actually threatened you at any time? If she threatens you prior to or
    After you respond to the supboena (which you must do to avoid having a
    Warrant issued against you) it would be a felony here entitled "Intimidating
    a Witness." At the very least, I recommend that you carry mace if you are
    Really in fear of being attacked. Record any phone calls you receive from
    Her, and if you have caller ID, don't answer unknown incoming calls. You
    Might want to have your phone number changed and have it "unlisted."

    How did you become the recipient of a subpoena in this case? When I was
    A detective in this area, we only subpoened anyone we felt would be an
    Eye witness. People in the household, neighbors, witnesses of injuries from the
    victim's school or church. Advise the Commonwealth's Attorney, or whatever
    The judicial authority in your state is called, of your concerns for your safety.
    Good luck with this.
  • Dec 9, 2008, 02:43 AM
    jennalynn1969

    Thanks
    I became a witness because I have text messages from here cell phone that she sent to me after the fact. They speciacely state she hit er son who is in 9th grade. He is OK and living with his father and she cannot have any contact with him. As to him being high, I have spent tim with him and he does not appear to be using drugs. In the text I got from his mom she states that her nieghbor who is a cop, witness he son with weed, cocaine and drug paraphernalia yet nothing happened to him legally and his mom was arrested. She has previous arrests for domestic violence, but got off because she denied it happened and there really wasn't much evidence, no witnesses etc. She is denying this never happened and has turned down 2 plea deals. I do not what to believe as her story seems to change, It is little changes that scew the facts to make her look good. I have caught her in lies myself, but when I question her about it she gets very angry and denies what she just said seconds before
  • Dec 9, 2008, 05:31 AM
    excon
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jennalynn1969 View Post
    I saved the text and called the prosecuting attny after finding out my friend was denying ever stricking her son .....and I am a lot worried that she could be so mad that she may cause me harm.

    Hello j:

    Maybe you shouldn't have snitched on her. I'd be pissed at you too.

    excon
  • Dec 9, 2008, 05:53 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Couchcarrot View Post
    Having been an investigator of child abuse, both physical and sexual, during
    part of my career, I must tell you the first priority in this fiasco is the safety
    of the child. In my state, the child must be under 18 years of age to be
    considered a victim of child abuse. How old is your friend's son, since you
    said she told you he was "high" during the incident. Additionally, in my state,
    you would only be able to testify to what you actually witnessed, either
    her having struck him at any time or of marks or bruises on his body you have seen.
    Testifying to what "she told you she did" would be considered "Hearsay"
    and not entered into evidence.

    You indicate that she brags about her friends having weapons, but has she
    ever actually threatened you at any time? If she threatens you prior to or
    after you respond to the supboena (which you must do to avoid having a
    warrant issued against you) it would be a felony here entitled "Intimidating
    a Witness." At the very least, I recommend that you carry mace if you are
    really in fear of being attacked. Record any phone calls you receive from
    her, and if you have caller ID, don't answer unknown incoming calls. You
    might want to have your phone number changed and have it "unlisted."

    How did you become the recipient of a subpoena in this case? When I was
    a detective in this area, we only subpoened anyone we felt would be an
    eye witness. People in the household, neighbors, witnesses of injuries from the
    victim's school or church. Advise the Commonwealth's Attorney, or whatever
    the judicial authority in your state is called, of your concerns for your safety.
    Good luck with this.



    I don't know what State the OP is in but I would be very careful about carrying mace which is an illegal weapon in some States and could get OP in trouble. Pepper spray, yes. Mace - I'd check and see if it's legal.
  • Dec 9, 2008, 07:08 PM
    jennalynn1969

    Hey Excon maybe staning up for the truth and for her son is more important then having a friend pissed at me. I did not make her hit her son or text me but I do know running away from truth is also never the answer. How dare you even stick up for someone who broke the law and hit her son. Abuse is never OK nor is ignoring evidence or closing my eyes to the truth that could and probably would have caused her son to be returned to her and further abuse happen. I worked my entire life as a mandated reporter meaning I had to report any possible abuse to authority the texts sent to me stated in no uncertian terms she had hit her son in the face. The next time someone hurts you or someone you love I bet you will want anyone with any knowledge to step up to make your case stronger. Bad things happen when good people sit by and do nothing and her getting her son back would be BAD!
  • Dec 9, 2008, 07:13 PM
    ScottGem

    Judy had the right answer here. You need to talk to the prosecutor who is in charge of the case. They will arrange to have someone accompany you to and from court and issue a restraining order against her.
  • Dec 9, 2008, 07:27 PM
    jennalynn1969
    Thanks
  • Dec 10, 2008, 01:51 AM
    Couchcarrot
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    I don't know what State the OP is in but I would be very careful about carrying mace which is an illegal weapon in some States and could get OP in trouble. Pepper spray, yes. Mace - I'd check and see if it's legal.

    What is Mace?
    Mace is a term used to describe one type of tear gas, but it is also a very common term to describe all types of self-defense sprays.

    Mace is also a well-recognized trade name by Mace Security International. The company produces PepperGard pepper spray, and blended sprays( Pepper Foam, etc) under the name Mace. Mace sprays have some distinct features, such as the finger-grip dispenser, flipR SELF-top cap, and glow-in-the-dark firing buttons. It is one of the most reliable and advanced self-defense sprays available on the market.

    Pepper Spray Information

    REGIONAL DIFFERENCES IN TERMINOLOGY. OUR COMMANDING OFFICERS
    OFTEN REFERRED TO OUR CANISTERS OF PEPPER SPRAY AS MACE.
  • Dec 10, 2008, 05:48 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Couchcarrot View Post
    REGIONAL DIFFERENCES IN TERMINOLOGY. OUR COMMANDING OFFICERS
    OFTEN REFERRED TO OUR CANISTERS OF PEPPER SPRAY AS MACE.



    No need to shout at me - which typing in caps is.

    You said mace; I read mace; I addressed mace. Mace in my area is called mace. Pepper spray is called pepper spray.
  • Dec 10, 2008, 06:15 AM
    Fr_Chuck

    Yes, Mace is mace, not peppper spray, so if someone is using that term as the same, they are wrong, legally there are big differences in the two, in many places one is legal and the other is not unless you are law enforcement.

    I will post one thing, safety, it is all well and good to get a restraining order or a order of protection, or even have a officer escort you to court if possible, but in the real end, if someone is going to try and hurt you, with is also against the law, the fact that there is a protection order normally means little to that person anyway, it is just more trouble they will get in after they hurt a person,

    Now while witnesses being hurt seldom happens, it does at times, more often they try and just scare the other person, but it is a real and seroius fear one has to consider.
  • Dec 10, 2008, 10:51 AM
    jennalynn1969

    Thanks for the advice. I do not know at this moment if my "friend" has been notified that I have sent a copy of the text messages yet as she has not contacted me. I fully expect to hear from her as soon as she finds out. That is when I expect the s*** to the fan.
  • Dec 10, 2008, 03:15 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jennalynn1969 View Post
    Thanks for the advice. I do not know at this moment if my "friend" has been notified that I have sent a copy of the text messages yet as she has not contacted me. I fully expect to hear from her as soon as she finds out. That is when I expect the s*** to the fan.


    Just do everything you can to stay safe - and come back and let us know you are, in fact, safe.
  • Dec 10, 2008, 03:34 PM
    jennalynn1969

    I am and I will thanks for all the advice and help
  • Dec 10, 2008, 10:51 PM
    Couchcarrot
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    No need to shout at me - which typing in caps is.

    You said mace; I read mace; I addressed mace. Mace in my area is called mace. Pepper spray is called pepper spray.

    I put it in caps to differentiate it from the paragraph above it which was
    A direct quote from the Milestone Safety Corp. at the following link.

    Pepper Spray Information

    It's under the heading "What is Mace?" This company which sells
    Law enforcemnt equipment nationwide, begs to differ with what you said.
  • Dec 11, 2008, 09:17 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Couchcarrot View Post
    I put it in caps to differentiate it from the paragraph above it which was
    a direct quote from the Milestone Safety Corp. at the following link.

    Pepper Spray Information

    It's under the heading "What is Mace?" This company which sells
    law enforcemnt equipment nationwide, begs to differ with what you said.



    I have a carry permit. I am allowed to carry a pistol but I cannot carry mace - at least in NYS. That does not extend to pepper spray which I am allowed to carry, as is anyone else.

    I have no idea what the law is, what the language is, in any other State.
  • Dec 11, 2008, 09:51 AM
    jennalynn1969

    Guys stop fighting I am not going to carry Mace or pepper spray. With the kind of luck I have I would most likely end up spraying myself. I will be careful and stay aware of my surroundings. Stop bickering you both are starting to sound like children. Don't make me say this again. I worked many years in daycare and I am used to repeating myself many many times!
  • Dec 11, 2008, 09:53 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jennalynn1969 View Post
    guys stop fighting I am not going to carry Mace or pepper spray. With the kind of luck I have I would most likely end up spraying myself. I will be careful and stay aware of my surroundings. Stop bickering you both are starting to sound like children. Don't make me say this again. I worked many years in daycare and I am used to repeating myself many many times!



    Wow - advice taken.
  • Dec 11, 2008, 10:28 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jennalynn1969 View Post
    guys stop fighting ... Stop bickering you both are starting to sound like children.

    I know it sometimes looks like childish bickering, but it usually isn't. Many of us are sticklers for accuracy, especially in technical forums. So what may seem like bickering is just trying to make sure that posts are accurate.

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