Promiscuous Past - Current Relationship
Im 28 years old and have been involved with a man that I love dearly and am totally committed to.
During the start of our relationship, we began speaking about our pasts, which I lied and hid a lot of mine as I didn't want him knowing the truth. Because my past was not something I wanted to share with anyone, for fear of him never wanting to be with me.
I did, share some of the details of my promiscuity and all the details of being abused as a child, during a recent fight, I revealed all my past of everything I ever did. The orgies and other stuff I got up to. I thought if he accepted all the other details, he would be upset by this, but we would be able to work past this. But this is not the case, he tells me that he loves me deeply but can never get past who I was. That the love he has for me, is for someone that wasn't a whore.
I never had anyone, in my life to tell me that what I was doing was wrong or to guide me in a different direction. When I was abused, my mother never left my step father and made me live with him, until I moved out at 20. There was no role model in my life, barring friends, who some were doing the same thing I was doing and doing it with me. Others weren't, but never tried to stop me.
I have never wanted anyone else but him, He is the most important person in my life.
Nothing else matters to me but him and our relationship. I keep telling him this, but he doesn't believe me. I know that my lies in the beginning of our relationship have caused this. But it's the truth. When I met him, I stopped flirting with everyone, and put all my energy into him. I Love him dearly and constantly think about him and what we had. Till now I am begging him to give us the chance to get what we had. For me to prove to him that he is all I ever want and need.
This is the hardest thing in world for me to deal with, because he has made me feel so special and so loved, in ways that I never felt before. He is my friend, my lover, my confidant, he is everything I ever need. I could go through life and only have him, I would be happy - because he makes me so happy.
How do I convince him to give us the time to get what we had back, that we can get past my past. That I am not that person anymore. That our love is worth fighting for?
The best part of our relationship, was that we worked together so we saw each other every day - we were constantly with each other, with all the fighting and all this going on, its made it very hard to be able to work, I can't concentrate on anything else but what I want and that's to keep us together. Now he wants me to apply for another position within the company so he doesn't have to work so closely with me. When he knows that I love my job, that I love working with him.
Any advice would be appreciated.