My boyfriend and I have been on and off for 2 years and 5 months. Our relationship is pretty much good for the most point. When we first starting having sex.. we couldn't stop.. we did it all the time! I loveed it becasuse I love him and I love sex:) so... it was all good for me. We eventually ended up moving in with his mom and dad. He started working at a club as a bouncer. He ended up meeting a girl and kissed her. We broke up before I even knew about this situation. I talked to him while we were broke up and he had said he slept with this girl since we broke up... it really hurt me.. I kind of had wanted him back so it was like whoa! I ended up sleeping with some random guy and I NEVER DO THIS.. it was my first time swiping the slut card, lol... he got mad... he said it was wrong , he then told me the girl he slept with recently is a girl he had kissed and went out with while we were dating [omg it was horrible to find that out]. Anyway he came and visited me and we ended up getting back together... we do love each other... well it bothered me everyday caz now I knew that he had cheated on me. And he tried to make me feel bad about my one night stand but I was like well... "we were broke up" anyway everything got to me.. I felt the love was gone.. I cheated on him... with a black guy and it is very wrong to mix race in his family.thats the way he was raised.. he was torn up about it... anyways... I moved out.. we stayed broke up for a while... but eventually we realized everything was stupid and we weren't going to blame eacheother for anything that happened anymore and we were going to be together caz we love each other.. well relationship has been great but.. its bother me.. he seems to never want to have sex... I begged him for sex for 2 weeks and he wouldn't do it.. then as soon as I got my period.. I caught him watching porn... that hurts.. makes me feel ugly or like something wrong? Does anyone see a reason why hed be doing this.? is he not over the cheating? Some one help me.. I love him and I just want to be with him for the reast of my life... :confused:

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Originally Posted by youngninlove

does anyone see a reason why hed be doing this .??is he not over the cheating??

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Gee, y'think? That seems like a strong possibility to me. I'm very visual and I think that trait generally applies to most guys. Were I your guy in that situation, I'd have a mental image of you with the other guys you slept with pop in my head every time you wanted to get close. That's a real mood killer.

I agree with above. As heartwrenching for you to think he shared feelings with another woman, its even worse for him knowing you were physical with another guy.

Its hard for guys to live that down, they are stubborn. And in a way he is punishing you on purpose

Just move out and try with someone else where u could find the real love

When these break-ups and cheating episodes start to happen in a relationship it's a pretty good sign that the relationship has run its course. You could keep trying to stay together and have this happen a few more times and continue to destroy what remaining respect you have for one another or you could take an honest look at the damage you both have done to the relationship and admit that you may have killed it for good.

Not all love was meant to last forever.

Re: the porn... I don't think it has anything to do with you per se it is just something that some men do and it is usually no reflection on their partner.
I doubt that he just picked up this habit when you cheated.

I admit what you did was immature but but he started the ball rolling and I don't understand why you are taking the full burden for the relationship falling apart.It started to crumble when he cheated.

A long lasting and deep love is based on many things ,sex is important but after years together it does begin to change.There is only so much you can do to keep it alive and hot.

If you persist in wanting to keep the relationship alive I suggest you show him you want to be together and don't nag him,that is a real turn off.Men do like the chase.
If one approach is not working,you try another but remember that communication is vital to any healthy relationship... right up there with respect.

Best of luck!

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Originally Posted by youngninlove

My boyfriend and I have been on and off for 2 years and 5 months. Our relationship is pretty much good for the most point. When we first starting having sex..we couldnt stop..we did it all the time !! I loveed it becasuse i love him and i love sex:) soo...it was all good for me. we eventually ended up moving in with his mom and dad. he started working at a club as a bouncer. he ended up meeting a girl and kissed her. we broke up before i even knew about this situation. i talked to him while we were broke up and he had said he slept with this girl since we broke up...it really hurt me..I kinda had wanted him back so it was like whoa! i ended up sleeping with some random guy and I NEVER DO THIS ..it was my first time swiping the slut card, lol ...he got mad... he said it was wrong , he then told me the girl he slept with recently is a girl he had kissed and went out with while we were dating [omg it was horrible to find that out]. anyways he came and visited me and we ended up getting back together...we do love each other...well it bothered me everyday caz now i knew that he had cheated on me. and he tried to make me feel bad about my one night stand but i was like well....."we were broke up" anyways everything got to me..i felt the love was gone..i cheated on him...with a black guy and it is very wrong to mix race in his family.thats the way he was raised.. he was torn up about it...anyways...i moved out ..we stayed broke up for a while...but eventually we realized everything was stupid and we werent gonna blame eacheother for anything that happend anymore and we were going to be together caz we love eachother..well relationship has been great but ..its bother me ..he seems to never wanna have sex...i begged him for sex for 2 weeks and he wouldnt do it.. then as soon as i got my period..i caught him watchin porn...that hurts ..makes me feel ugly or like somethin wrong? does anyone see a reason why hed be doing this .??is he not over the cheating?? some one help me ..i love him and i just wanna be with him for the reast of my life...:confused:

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I think neither of you have the maturity for this sort of relationship just yet based on your comments.

First off, he didn't "cheat" on you if he slept with her after you broke up.

Then you try to retaliate by having a one night stand with someone else.

Some people don't like to have sex during a period... the mess and the odor or two reasons... and you can still get pregnant so don't assume it's a free week.

So he looked at porn... big deal. Get over it, everything he does isn't about you in some way or other.

Sorry if that comes across as harsh... but its just being factual and direct to the point. I hear so many young people insisting that can put a square peg into a round hole if they just keep trying. THe problem is there are so many round pegs out there they would find if they stopped fixating on the square peg they insist will work.

I think that the relationship is over... that you are just clinging to memories of what could have been ideally.

Face reality, and take some time talking to a professional about the failed relationship in hopes of learning more about yourself, more about what you can do in a positive way to improve your life, and then go looking for a new boyfriend.

Best wishes in the future, :)

I agree it's over let it go it's sad but reality because if you hold on to it there will be more problems that would arise it won't get better and the porn thang all of us men watch it but me personally I won't turn down sex with my lady to watch porn though lol

Gees, your worried about two weeks of no sex? You caught him watching porn once... this is normal behavior - maybe stop begging and incise him a bit. I understand that your upset he was seeing the girl while you where dating the kiss and emotional involvement may be cheating but he didn't sleep with her until you guys broke up and besides, you had sex with someone else too (which only adds to the problem) and what's with the race thing?. so what if he was black; tell your boyfriend to grow up. If I was you I would leave the relationship of 2.5 years as it has been on and off so many times... its unstable and its time to move on or move forward. One day you will look back and say omg... what was I thinking?