Ask Me Help Desk - I'm pregnant!

About me:

I'm 19, in nursing school, 2.5 more years to go.

I asked my boyfriend what if we were to have a baby about a month ago. I'm on birth control. He said he would be scared, and he wants to wait, but he would take full responsibility.

I haven't missed any pills, ever. And I take them at 8:00 in the morning, every morning.

I took a pregnancy test this morning, and I am pregnant. How coincidential that it happened a month after I asked him about a baby. Especially while I'm on birth control.

We are in love with each other, and I know nothing will happen between us when I tell him, but I feel so guilty like he may think I did it on purpose or something.

Anyway, I picked up prenatal vitamins this morning, and I'm scheduling a doctors appoint Monday. From what he said last month and what I feel, we are keeping the baby.

We live at home with his parents. He's still in school as well. I work at a dry cleaners and talked to my boss today (there's only one person here at a time) he said that after I have the baby I can bring him/her to work with me, and take care of it at work. So that cuts out a lot of time that I would need someone to watch the baby. However, I have clinicals and school full time and will need someone to watch him/her then, but we will figure it out. My family is very supportive

I feel like a big reason he is worried because he is unsure of how his mom would react. I think that she would be understanding, I was wondering - would it be better to tell his mom first, and then have both me and her sit down with him and tell him so he doesn't feel as much worry about wondering what his mom will think? (me and his mother are very very close). Or would it be better to tell him first, then both of us tell his parents? I just want to do what is right.

Don't get me wrong - I'm thrilled about having a baby! I'm feeling the stress, but I'm taking responsibility for my actions and I am going to do everything in my power to be the BEST mother to this baby I can be. I can't wait to meet him/her! I'm just worried about how to tell the boyfriend.

Quote:

Originally Posted by VeNN11

About me:

I'm 19, in nursing school, 2.5 more years to go.

I asked my boyfriend what if we were to have a baby about a month ago. I'm on birth control. He said he would be scared, and he wants to wait, but he would take full responsibility.

I haven't missed any pills, ever. And I take them at 8:00 in the morning, every morning.

I took a pregnancy test this morning, and I am pregnant. How coincidential that it happened a month after I asked him about a baby. Especially while I'm on birth control.

We are in love with each other, and I know nothing will happen between us when I tell him, but I feel so guilty like he may think I did it on purpose or something.

Anyways, I picked up prenatal vitamins this morning, and I'm scheduling a doctors appoint monday. From what he said last month and what I feel, we are keeping the baby.

We live at home with his parents. He's still in school as well. I work at a dry cleaners and talked to my boss today (there's only one person here at a time) he said that after I have the baby I can bring him/her to work with me, and take care of it at work. So that cuts out a lot of time that I would need someone to watch the baby. However, I have clinicals and school full time and will need someone to watch him/her then, but we will figure it out. My family is very supportive

I feel like a big reason he is worried because he is unsure of how his mom would react. I think that she would be understanding, I was wondering - would it be better to tell his mom first, and then have both me and her sit down with him and tell him so he doesn't feel as much worry about wondering what his mom will think? (me and his mother are very very close). Or would it be better to tell him first, then both of us tell his parents? I just want to do what is right.

Don't get me wrong - I'm thrilled about having a baby! I'm feeling the stress, but I'm taking responsibility for my actions and I am going to do everything in my power to be the BEST mother to this baby I can be. I can't wait to meet him/her! I'm just worried about how to tell the boyfriend.

I think if you're in a relationship, which you apparently are, that you tell your boyfriend first. There are two people in this relationship - you and him.

If you can't discuss this with him, how are you going to spend your lives together? You discussed this with your employer before you told him?

I would be hurt beyond hurt if my husband/boyfriend/fiance told someone else such important news before he shared it with me. As you've pointed out in other posts, I think this is a matter of maturity.

Maybe other people have different thoughts. I don't know. I don't usually hang out over here. I only know how I would feel in this situation and how much I believe in open lines of communication.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

As you've pointed out in other posts, I think this is a matter of maturity.

Thanks for the response. Can you explain this part of your post a little more? I'd appreciate it...

And you pointed out telling my boss before him. After reading what you had said I wish I hadn't. I will learn from my mistakes however. When I told him I just assumed that being able to tell my boyfriend 100% that I can take it to work with me for sure, it would take a *little* stress off his shoulders. But I agree, not telling anyone else. Just him.

I just wasn't sure if I should let his mom know either first, so he wouldn't be so stressed when I first told him. But I think it would be best to just tell him.

I would also tell the boyfriend first. It sounds as though you have a few things sorted out already, best to tell him before you carry on with any more plans and arrangements without him knowing about it!

I understand what other posters are saying about telling your boyfriend first, but I also understand why you talked to your boss first. I would probably have done something like that too, so that when you tell your boyfriend and he's concerned about who will watch the baby when you're at work you can tell him that you thought of that too and it's taken care of. It kind of just shows you're planning ahead. I wouldn't worry that you told your boss first, but definitely talk to your boyfriend before you talk to his mom. Good luck! =)

Oh - and as for my previous post, there is one titled "I have a weird situation with my birth control" - and that was posted by my older sister. I genuinly have been taking my birth control religiously and I have not missed any.

As for previous posts, does anyone know what JudyKayTee means by my maturity level? I don't understand.

Thanks for the responses guys, I need all the support I can get.

Tell boyfriend first, he will be extremely hurt to find out a lot of other people found out before he did.

Then you and him together talk to his parents.

He should have been the first, the fact you are talking to a boss at work before anyone else is really a issue for me, and would be for boyfriend if he found out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by VeNN11

Oh - and as for my previous post, there is one titled "I have a weird situation with my birth control" - and that was posted by my older sister. I genuinly have been taking my birth control religiously and I have not missed any.

As for previous posts, does anyone know what JudyKayTee means by my maturity level? I don't understand.

Thanks for the responses guys, I need all the support I can get.

Yes, you responded to another poster about maturity levels. That's what "Judy" was referencing.

Or maybe it was your sister's post. I don't really know. I think how a pregnancy is handled is also based on maturity level. That's all.

Quote:

Originally Posted by VeNN11

Thanks for the response. Can you explain this part of your post a little more? I'd appreciate it...

And you pointed out telling my boss before him. After reading what you had said I wish I hadn't. I will learn from my mistakes however. When I told him I just assumed that being able to tell my boyfriend 100% that I can take it to work with me for sure, it would take a *little* stress off his shoulders. But I agree, not telling anyone else. Just him.

I just wasn't sure if I should let his mom know either first, so he wouldn't be so stressed when I first told him. But I think it would be best to just tell him.

I don't know it's a mistake. Everyone does whatever/however they feel under the given circumstances. I just would have handled it differently and mistakes or not, it's done and so you move on. I've certainly stumbled in my life.

(I explained the maturity part in another post, before I read this one.)