Ok so everyday I hear "its all about networking" "its not what you know but who you know". I am sick of this. I am sorry for the rant, but I am working so hard at university, and without sounding arrogant I have been told that I am technically good at what I do and I have ability. My problem is that my profession is so dependent on "Putting yourself out there". But I am naturally a reserved, shy person. For example, in life I have a small group of friends who I really value and they are probably the only people I would call friends. That may sound sad but I would rather have it that way, than be 'friends' with 100s of people who I barely know (like some people on facebook). I just can't be like that. So what the hell do I do? I would love to go into business one day, and run my own small office with a few valued and trusted clients. I have never aspired to run a corporation - the thought of that makes me feel sick. I see myself as more of a specialist at what I do, although I feel undervalued as I work hard even when I am in the office, but because I don't shout and put myself forward, nobody notices. When I am at social functions, I hate the networking environment because I was always raised to talk to people who seem genuinely nice and interesting. Most clients I have met are the opposite. They talk to you, then you introduce them to your colleague, and they spend the rest of the time talking to them all night. I hate the way people are used like this. How can these 'human beings' be like this and just dispose of people like that. I guess I am moaning a lot, (sorry) I just feel that I really want to go somewhere in life and I honestly believe I have the ability to do so (I really hope that doesn't sound arrogant). Take my friend for example, who was the key advantage of physcial attractiveness. Now, through university and at work, without being mean, his work was not concerned with quality or ability. He never focused on being 'good at what he is doing' (something I have only focused on) and his work even today is quite poor if you really look at it. That is not just my opinion, and it is a widely accepted fact. Yet he has people falling over themselves to give him work. He is confident, outgoing and energetic, yet he has hardly any ability. Is that really what matters in this life? To pretend you love people when you don't, to pretend to be interested in people who are the most vulgar, greedy, selfish people you have ever met? I wish I could look those people in the eye, but I just can't be fake and superficial. My friend will say to me how these people are stupid, yet to their face he is the opposite. What happened to being genuine with people in life?

People call me unsociable because of comparisons to other people in the profession. Although I don't think that I am. It does take a long time to get to know me and for me to open up but I just can't trust people immediately. I guess I am living in the wrong era huh? I don't think that I have ever been unfriendly to other people or rude, and I really like to help other people. I get a real satisfaction from introducing new people into the office for example, but I rarely get these chances as my bosses just assume I hate people and don't want to talk to them. So, any tips/ advice from anyone in a similar position?

Networking is not about making "friends" it is about developing business contacts. Basically networking is a job not something you do for fun. Put it this way, when you buy something at a store do you make friends with the employees? No. There may be "small talk" like "Hi, how are you" or "Can you believe this weather?" but you're not taking time to befriend the person because it's a business transaction. That's a form of networking. When you become a regular customer somewhere and the people start greeting you when you walk in the door and making a little more small talk maybe even asking your name it's still business. There is a difference between friendly and friends and they are being friendly. I know I enjoy spending money at places where the waitresses or cashiers know me because when I need something special I can ask for favors and they help me out. It's good business practice to treat your customers well.

Networking conversations generally stick to neutral topics. Business is generally the main topic. There is a difference between a business function and a social function. If people from work are there it's a business function and you stick to business related topics or news. Keeping up with the latest news is always a good idea. Since you don't like talking to strangers have some questions ready in your head so they can do all the talking. For example ask "What do you think of (insert current event here)." You don't have to tell them your thoughts on it just let them talk. When they finish I find it's easiest to agree with them then ask another question. This makes you seem genuinely interested in making their acquaintance without emotionally committing to them. Listening is a key skill in business, instead of being labeled as unsociable you can get a "good listener" label if you can look at these situations as a job. Don't ostracize people because you think they aren't nice, most likely they are just being professional and "working the room" to meet as many people as possible. Remember this isn't a date.
Ber