I don't belong here. I'm not Suicidal.
Ok here goes, I am 19 years old, male, living in L.A.. Every since I was a little kid I have always been different, I comprehend things faster than everyone else and come up with solutions faster than everyone else. Back then people would say I was a gift, that I was destined to do great things. So as time went on I started to get into trouble at school, they made me see a psychologist, which she determined I was just bored so they skipped me up one grade. In high school I did everything right till my junior year when I started to question. WHY? Why do we as humans do what we do, why is school important, everything in our society seems wrong. For example when I question religion I’m usually yelled at. I am spiritual; I just do not believe in human created gods, I believe in something Bigger. I have always been a thinker and our school system, even private schools, stifle thinkers and try to make workers. My real concern comes in with having too many “gifts”. However I see them as curses, I don’t want this to come out the wrong way because I truly do not mean it to be cocky, but everything I do in life is perfect, too perfect I am great at almost everything, but I hate it because I can’t choose what or where I want to go with my life. The crazy part is I don’t believe everything I do is perfect. When I try to talk to anyone in a deeper conversation they seem to not understand me, even if they say they do they still don’t and they think I am arrogant. I am able to tell very quickly where someone’s mental level is by the first sentence, I have always been able to see people for what they really are. I learned very young how to play their game, because I would find it amusing how people would portray themselves, I have always known how give everyone what they want or what they think they want, which in turn means I am very well liked which is pretty much the same game that everyone plays I just know how to do it on a bigger scale. In a round about way I always get everything I want from material items to people. I also notice things that most people would normally miss, certain sounds, sights, almost everything. I feel like I am totally alone on this planet. I don’t think I’m an alien, because that would be crazy right, but I feel like I don’t belong here, and I have always felt this way, but that could also be my imagination running wild. If anyone has any tips or anything that may help please I’m begging you HELP ME?