Ask Me Help Desk - Don't know anymore.

Im confused.. and don't know what to do or what to think...

Ive been with this guy now for a while... I love him.. he means the world to me... we have had a rocky relationship.. broke up a few times and then got back together...

It's a rocky relationship anyway because he has 3 children with his ex.. which I don't mind I love his kids to death.. but she won't give up on him coming back.. so we fight over that all the time.. because she calls at like 1 am every time...

He says he loves me too but I question how much he really does.

I have been told by a few people that they think he's cheating on me... by things he says or does... So I go to him and ask him and he says different... So it doesn't get me anywhere and I don't know what to believe...

I had someone tell me today that they heard him talking at work.. about when we went to the club over this past weekend. He said that he saw a lot of hot girls but had to be good and watch himself because I was there...

So I know if I go ask him he's prob going to say different...

Anyone have any advice for me??

Best thing

Never listen to he said she said.
It never gets you anywhere and really just leaves you chasing after your tail.

If he says no. and his actions has shown nothing to warrant cheating
Then take him for his word

All the best

See... the thing is... he is kind of sneaky... he can sneak around about things... like going threw my cell phone and me not knowing until he asked me about a number... that happen to been one of my friends that he has never talked to...

He is a tow truck driver so he's gone a lot... but if I call his work so see if he has a min to talk and they say there not sure where he's at... kinda makes me wonder...

If neither of you trust each other the road is only going to get rockier.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xStarGirlx

Im confused..and don't know what to do or what to think...

I have been told by a few people that they think hes cheating on me...by things he says or does...So i go to him and ask him and he says diffrent... So it doesn't get me anywhere and i dont know what to belive...

I had someone tell me today that they heard him talking at work.. about when we went to the club over this past weekend. He said that he saw a lot of hot girls but had to be good and watch himself because i was there....

So i know if i go ask him he's prob gonna say diffrent......

Anyone have any advice for me???

The thing that you heard he said about the hot girls is something that any married guy might say, so I don't think you can dump him just because of that.

But some of the other things that you said makes me want to say that you are getting yourself involved that you will have for the rest of your life if you marry and stay married to this guy. You are going to have kids that will resent you, you will have an X-wife that will be involved in your life a lot more than you ever thought.

I have no idea if he is cheating on you but I do know that it is not right for him to accept phone calls from his EX at 1 am at night, unless it is an emergency about the kids.

You say that he does not trust you, and you indicate that you do not trust him. This will never go away, so if you are prepared to live a life worried about who he is out screwing around with while you are at home with his three kids and you never know soon it could be four or five kids.

One thing that you need to think about is that his three kid, if he does not have coustidy of them, are going to cost him a lot of money for child support. And if you live in the right state he could have to pay for her upkeep also.

You have so much to think about so think long and hard, I don't know how old you are but you surely don't want to spend the rest of your life in a bad situation.

"Believe half of what you see and nothing of what you hear"

Quote:

Originally Posted by letmetellu

The thing that you heard he said about the hot girls is something that any married guy might say, so I don't think you can dump him just because of that.

But some of the other things that you said makes me want to say that you are getting yourself involved that you will have for the rest of your life if you marry and stay married to this guy. You are going to have kids that will resent you, you will have an X-wife that will be involved in your life a lot more than you ever thought.

I have no idea if he is cheating on you but I do know that it is not right for him to accept phone calls from his EX at 1 am at night, unless it is an emergency about the kids.

You say that he does not trust you, and you indicate that you do not trust him. This will never go away, so if you are prepared to live a life worried about who he is out screwing around with while you are at home with his three kids and you never know soon it could be four or five kids.

One thing that you need to think about is that his three kid, if he does not have coustidy of them, are going to cost him a lot of money for child support. And if you live in the right state he could have to pay for her upkeep also.

You have so much to think about so think long and hard, I don't know how old you are but you surely don't want to spend the rest of your life in a bad situation.

Yeah I know she's going to be there.. and I'm fine with that and I've told him that..

That's what I keep telling him... you know I've told him to tell her that the only time she should be calling is if its something with the kids.. hes says he's told her but I don't believe him.. because she continues to call all the time.. and begs him to come back home...

No he doesn't trust me he thinks I'm out messing around on him.. which I'm not and wouldn't do... I know how it feels to have someone cheat on you so why would I go do it to someone else...

The have joint custody of them.. they don't go threw the court for him to pay he's nice enough to just give her money for the kids when she needs it... id rather have him go threw the court though..

He helps her pay rent... buys stuff for her car... etc... which I don't think he should have to do...

I'm 22 years old... I'm still young that why I'm trying to get advice as to what I should do because I don't want to spend my life like this... and I don't need to.. I have other people who would love to be with me...

No trust= no relationship.

How do you love someone you don't trust. Can you explain that to me? Are you a bit insecure, or does he make you that way? Are there a lot of your friends who don't like, or trust him?

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

No trust= no relationship.

How do you love someone you don't trust. Can you explain that to me? Are you a bit insecure, or does he make you that way? Are there a lot of your friends who don't like, or trust him?

I fell in love with him before I realized that I shouldn't trust him like I was... he gives me reasons to question him...
Yeah a lot of them don't trust him...
His own boss comes to me with concerns about it... and that's pretty bad...

Then why are you not listening to your own feelings, and doing something about it?

Ain't that much love in the world, to make yourself someone's fool.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xStarGirlx

yeah i know she's gonna be there..and im fine with that and ive told him that..

Thats what i keep telling him... ya know ive told him to tell her that the only time she should be calling is if its something with the kids..hes says he's told her but i dont belive him..cuz she continues to call all the time.. and begs him to come back home....

No he doesn't trust me he thinks im out messing around on him..which im not and wouldnt do... i know how it feels to have someone cheat on you so why would i go do it to someone else....

the have joint custody of them.. they dont go threw the court for him to pay hes nice enough to just give her money for the kids when she needs it... id rather have him go threw the court tho..

he helps her pay rent....buys stuff for her car....etc..... which i dont think he should have to do....

im 22 years old... im still young that why im trying to get advice as to what i should do because i dont want to spend my life like this... and i dont need to .. i have other people who would love to be with me.....

Just do what you think is best, somethng that you can live with, aand good luck.