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-   -   Grandmother getting between mother and baby custody (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=287737)

  • Dec 2, 2008, 11:49 PM
    bevcakes
    Grandmother getting between mother and baby custody
    Me and my husband just separated a few days ago and I moved in with friends of ours about 2 hours away. We have a 21 month old son. And we (me and my husband) decided that our son would rotate who he is staying with like every few weeks or something of that nature. Before I moved we were living with his mother. She seemed to have no problem with the arrangement even though it's really not her place to say anything. Now that I have moved we were planning for my son to come here and stay with me for a week. Now his mother is saying she won't let MY son stay here. Now I am living in a very nice apartment with good people and a good neighborhood. There is no drug use or alcohol at all and nobody has a criminal record. His mother is threatening to get a lawyer to say that my son cannot stay with me. I believe her argument will be that she has supported him a lot i.e. we were all living with her since he was born however it was me and his father that actually provided the care she provided the house and bought a lot of things for him. Also a year ago my parental rights came into question after I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and hospitalized but nothing was ever filed with the courts and nothing really done I was just told I couldn't live with him and then several months later we talked to children services and they said it was fine for me to come back because there was no reason for me not to be with my son so I believe she will try to use that against me as well. By the way we live in Florida. My question is do I have anything to worry about? Does she have any possible way to challenge my custody? Also a little more to the story, I have had no problems whatsoever for the past year as to my mental health and would have no problem if I was ordered a psychological exam. Please help! What do I need to be doing? Do I need a lawyer? Thanks!
  • Dec 3, 2008, 06:31 AM
    N0help4u

    Get a copy or a document from children's services saying that it is okay. First off, do not discuss ANYTHING further with her and see if your husband is willing to keep her excluded in everything.
    IF he is willing to not keep her up on things then you get established in your place and hopefully he now has his own place so that she has less say. The court will look more favorably on you having custody if you can show you have a roof over their head and can support them.
    Then you go to family court and file for joint custody and then she is going against the court order if she tries to tell you how it is going to be.
    Don't even discuss any what you plan to do things with her at all.
    Don't even let her know you are going to go get your own court order and hopefully your husband won't either.
  • Dec 3, 2008, 07:14 AM
    NowWhat

    What does your husband say about all of this?
    I just find it odd that SHE would take you to court when she doesn't have legal custody of the child. Would the courts even hear her?
    You need to get a separation agreement in place. It will outline many things. Such as custody until the divorce is final. A visitation schedule.
    From what you are describing, you are wanting shared parenting. I don't necessarily think that she could do much, but if she has your husband on board and it appears this is coming from him - then you have a problem.

    Do you live close to each other. You said you moved about 2 hours away. Is that still the case? Honestly, I don't see that as healthy for your son. It may work while he's a baby - but what about when he is in school in 3 or 4 years? Will he go to a different school every couple of weeks? If you lived in the same town - this plan could work nicely. But long distance? I am not sure.
  • Dec 3, 2008, 10:51 AM
    bevcakes
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by NowWhat View Post
    What does your husband say about all of this??
    I just find it odd that SHE would take you to court when she doesn't have legal custody of the child. Would the courts even hear her??
    You need to get a seperation agreement in place. It will outline many things. Such as custody until the divorce is final. A visitation schedule.
    From what you are describing, you are wanting shared parenting. I don't necessarily think that she could do much, but if she has your husband on board and it appears this is coming from him - then you have a problem.

    Do you live close to each other. You said you moved about 2 hours away. Is that still the case? Honestly, I don't see that as healthy for your son. It may work while he's a baby - but what about when he is in school in 3 or 4 years? Will he go to a different school every couple of weeks? If you lived in the same town - this plan could work nicely. But long distance?? I am not sure.

    My husband agrees with me that our son should be with me just as much as him. I am still living about 2 hours away right now but the long term plan is that my husband will move back to this town as well, this is where all of his friends are anyway. Thank you for the replies!

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