Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Pregnancy & New Motherhood (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=262)
-   -   My friend is pregnant but the guy who got her pregnant moves on with out her (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=287589)

  • Dec 2, 2008, 04:22 PM
    ohhoneyhooke
    My friend is pregnant but the guy who got her pregnant moves on with out her
    My friend lisa got pregnant from her ex and her ex got with lisa old best friend so now she is really loney because her ex is avoiding the situation of her being pregnant.
    What should she do?
  • Dec 2, 2008, 04:24 PM
    southerngalps

    Well she may not be able to get him back but when the baby is born she can get financial support proven that he is the father.
  • Dec 2, 2008, 04:39 PM
    liz28

    I know she might feel lonely but she needs to take care of herself because she has a baby inside of her. Being stress isn't good and as mention eariler once the baby is born she can go after him for child support regardless if he wants to be in the child life of not.

    The only thing you can do right now is support her by being her rock and shoulder to lean on. Try to keep her mind off this ex and I know it is going be hard but it is doable. In the end him and this girl would get a dose of their own medicine because karma is a b*#ch.
  • Dec 3, 2008, 07:36 AM
    NowWhat

    Well, she (as others have stated) needs to take care of herself and not worry about the ex. You can't make someone want to be with you.

    Does she even want to be pregnant? Is she prepared to be a mom?

    If not - there are options. Adoption is a great one.

    IF she is ready to have this baby and raise it - then she needs to concentrate on the baby not the ex.
  • Nov 20, 2010, 03:21 PM
    BrittanyFaye
    She needs to see if the baby daddy will help her out...
    It's his responsibility too. If he doesn't then she needs to take him to court.
  • Dec 20, 2010, 10:19 AM
    WriterGirl_15
    I agree with the previous answers. She needs to calm down, have the baby, (NOT an abortion), choose adoption or motherhood, and then if she chooses motherhood she has the right to take him to court for child support. However, she should discuss that with her ex before taking him to court. He may be willing to help without a law suit.
  • Dec 21, 2010, 06:29 AM
    katt86
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by WriterGirl_15 View Post
    , have the baby, (NOT an abortion), choose adoption .



    It is the mothers choice what happens to the unborn child's not yours and it is unfair to put this sort of preddure onto somebody. I would advise your friend to have a chat with the father and explain the situation to him. It would be unfair of her to pressure him to be back with her but it is important that she involves him as much as she can. It is vital your friend understands that her parental relationship and romantic relationship with the father are separate and not to involve the two together. If the father says he doesn't want to beinvolved then wait until the baby is born (if that's what she choses to do) then go through a solicitor.
  • Dec 30, 2010, 05:42 PM
    WriterGirl_15
    Quote:

    It is the mothers choice what happens to the unborn child's not yours
    Should a woman be able to kill her baby after it is born, it's her choice? Do you support my choice to speed while driving, it's a choice and, the government shouldn't have the right to interfere with choices! Would you support your partners choice to cheat? Or my choice to murder? Exactly how "pro-choice" are you? Or does it just stop at having abortions? Which then of course would make you Pro-abortion...

    We as 'anti-abortionists' ask if it's okay to kill babies AFTER they're born. People used to say no, that's murder. Now we ask that question, and they still say no, but nurses are actually taking failed abortions in the rooms where soiled linens are disposed and leaving them to die. When does abortion become murder? Where is the line? You should think before you say she has that choice. After all, if she doesn't want the baby or can't support/raise it, well, that's half the reason adoption is available!
  • Dec 30, 2010, 05:56 PM
    bestbessie
    Hiya. This site and this type of question is going to attract people who have very strong views. People like me do believe that there is a choice in whether to proceed or not with a pregnancy, and it doesn't make me someone who believes in total societal chaos, anarchy and the destruction of the world as we know it.

    It's frankly not an easy choice and it comes with a range of heartbreak and doubt, then again so does proceeding with a pregnancy, having a baby, remaining tied to a deadbeat dad for the rest of your life. There is always the possibility that there will be other children in the future and that these children will be born into a loving, stable family environment.

    Given that this is your friend, and it's her decision, all you can really do here is listen, don't try to jump in and solve her problems, or pressure her to do what you think is best. Support her without judgement in whatever she chooses to do. If she has a baby, provide practical support, help out and keep her company.
  • Dec 31, 2010, 12:26 AM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by WriterGirl_15 View Post
    Should a woman be able to kill her baby after it is born, it's her choice? Do you support my choice to speed while driving, it's a choice and, the government shouldn't have the right to interfere with choices! Would you support your partners choice to cheat? Or my choice to murder? Exactly how "pro-choice" are you? Or does it just stop at having abortions? Which then of course would make you Pro-abortion...

    We as 'anti-abortionists' ask if it's okay to kill babies AFTER they're born. People used to say no, that's murder. Now we ask that question, and they still say no, but nurses are actually taking failed abortions in the rooms where soiled linens are disposed and leaving them to die. When does abortion become murder? Where is the line? You should think before you say she has that choice. After all, if she doesn't want the baby or can't support/raise it, well, that's half the reason adoption is available!

    Not once did the OP (original poster) even mention abortion. Even if she had, that's the choice of her pregnant friend.

    You have your beliefs and that's your right, but you do not have the right to push those beliefs on others. Not on this site, and not in the real world either.

    If you want to discuss abortion and your beliefs, start a thread in member discussions. If you want to answer questions on the pregnancy forum than leave your beliefs behind and stick to the facts.

    The facts are, there are three options, and they are having the child, adoption and abortion.
  • Dec 31, 2010, 09:37 AM
    katt86

    Writergirl_15 I was not contradicting the belief that you have but that is our choice, I am also not saying that people should kill newborn babies or murder anybody, I think you have completely jumped the gun on this one. I do however believe that each pregnancy situation is different and should be treated individually and with respect. It is not fair to go around telling people how they should live their life, this site is for advising people, advising being the operative word.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:23 PM.