My son turned 3 years old in April and will not use the potty! He's not interested and wants nothing to do with it. We have tried all the usual approaches without any luck.
Any good ideas??
I've already tried
1- putting a potty that makes a flushing sound and a hurray sound in front of the TV with a potty training dvd - hated it
2- removed the flushing and hurray sound from the potty - hated it
3- tried letting him wear big boy underwear and use the big potty or little potty - just goes as if he's wearing a diaper
4- tried "go potty get a piece of candy" - didn't want candy that bad
5- every 15 to 30 minutes tried sitting him on the potty - only fuled a huge timper tantrum
6- tried taking bathroom breaks w/ his dad - that's not going to work

Any ideas are greatly needed
Thanks,
Kae

Well the good thing is your not hitting him when I know it must be frustating. I have read a couple of things that I got from a friend.
1. Try and make it as fun as possible... put a cherioe in the toilet and have him aim for it and try to sink it. If he is able to do by himself or how ever you want to reward him... take him to the park as a reward or one to a restaurant.
2. They called it riding the pony (((sounds funny I know)))) Put him on the toilet facing the wall.. (((it gives them something to hold on to and it makes them feel sucure))) and just wait for a while but try to make it as fun a possible.
3. I didn't read this but my sister did it with my niece... ((it is up to you if you want to do this because this is really hard on the child and even on you but it worked for my niece and at 2 years old she was potty trained in 3 days))) when your son has an accident tell him to stay on the potty until he does something like pee of number 2. If he does do it then make it a big deal... Scream and Jump up and down and say stuff like " YOU DID IT OH MY GOD YOU WENT POTTY!! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU" keep on repeating it and give him a popsicle or something that you know he will like (QUATERS, TRUCKS, BOOKS, A COUPON FOR A HUG, PIZZA FOR A DAY).
THE ONLY THING ABOUT THIS IS... HE WILL SCREAM AND YOU WILL WANT TO GIVE IN. Don't!
If none of these work just go to the library and read some books on it.
Tell me how it goes... good luck!

Kae, the answers you have so far are fantastic. But let me remind you that there are no children in kindergarten who are still in diapers! ;) He will do it all in his own time. The more you push, the harder he will fight. All you can do right now is SUGGEST, gently give potty ideas.

My son is now 4. Whe he turned 3, March 2005, I wanted to train also. Of course he was my 4th child so I already knew techniques. But guess what? He threw fits, similar to the ones you talk about.

I just started taking him in the bathroom with me and Dad took him also. We did not push nor did we put him on the potty, just brought him with us. Nothing was said afterward, just washed hands and left.

Eventually he trained himself by learning from example.

He will learn that it is uncomfortable to feel wet in the diaper or pull-up. Personally I do not believe in pull-ups because they are jusst like "big boy pants." They can wear them like pants and go in them and not feel wet. When he is maturing he will not want a diaper, my son said "diapers are for babies." And gave them up in a week.

The feeling of a full bladder or bowel is one of the hardest things young children have to learn. He may not have full knowledge or control of this yet.

He will eventually use the potty, the more you push him the harder it will be.

Just be gentle, let him do it on his own, when he does he will be more proud of himself and things will go smoother.

He is exercising his skills in negotiating (all young children do) which is very good. That needs to be balanced against a desire (mostly yours perhaps?) to be potty trained. I totally agree with J_9 for stopping all things he resists. She makes some really great suggestions for engaging him more passively too. He wants to learn how to do this "his way" and you can honor that and encourage the learning. You'll not only get there faster but he'll be that much more eager to learn something else next! Willful kids are often the smart or sophisticated ones but it takes the big picture to see that in times like this?

Just offering a different perspective. . I hope that helps.

I took everyone's advise and did not push the potty issue. I let him decide when the time was right for him and finally he has decided that now is the time. YEAH!! We have been making such a big deal over his "going to the potty" . He likes sitting on the big potty "pony style". He comes running out of the bathroom, all smiles, with his hand up to give me a "Big High SIVE (5)" as he calls it... LOL... I'm so happy at this point. Still no #2 on the potty and at night we use diapers (which he will go in even if he's not asleep yet), but all weekend long he wanted to wear big boy pants and had no accidents. We are at least moving in the right direction.
Thank you all once again,
Kae

Kae, that is such great news!!

I am so happy for him. I know excatly what a High Sive is! Johnny does that too.

Yes, keep the diapers on at night for a while. When he has woken up dry for quite a while you can wean him off the diapers.

We still have night time mistakes every once in a blue moon, but I nevre comment about it, never punish, it will go away on its own. Johnny is embarrassed when this happens, so I don't make it any worse on him.

Congrats again!

Yippee kiyaaaa to the lil' cowboy!

Yippee Kiyaaaa in deed!!

We've been "high siving" all day again today.

Yes, I agree with not punishing when accidents occur too. It could break their little spirit.

A million thanks for all the support!

Im glad it worked out for you and your son... now I think I'm going to be asking for your advice now that my son is about to be ready for potty training... im so scared.

My wife and I had the same trouble with our daughter. We tried lots of things too but none seemed to work. I truly believe that it's something they have to do in their own time when they're ready. It just takes some longer than others to get the hang of it. Your son is just on the long end of the spectrum, like my daughter was.

The potty training thing was scary, especially when he hated it so bad that when I tried to put him on the bowl once, he stuck is foot/leg all the way in the bowl.LOL.
But I just took the advise from everyone in this thread and he pretty much potty trained himself by me leaving him alone about it.

*question
Last night after I got him out of the bath, I went to put his bed time diaper on him and he said,"Blah, I don't like diaper". He took it a tossed it on the floor, so I said, "OK, you don't have to wear it, just remember that you don't have it on in the morning so you can go potty without having an accident - OK". Well I slipped one on him after he went to sleep because he's always wet the diaper sometime throughout the night. Well, this morning, I was in the kitchen making my daughters lunch and my son came stomping in there w/o the diaper on, expressing sure disgust over the diaper I had put on him. So I asked him "whats wrong? Did you go potty like a big boy?" he said real grumpily "yeah" and walked away.
I went to the bathroom, and sure enough, he did go on the potty, but his diaper was also wet from going in the middle of the night.
Tonight was the same thing. And I did slip another diaper on him after he fell asleep. Reason being is because he really hates accidents - he has never fully relieved himself in his pants, but on occasion, some has leaked out before he realized he had to go. I don't care about the bed or the sheets, but I'm afraid of his feelings of wetting the bed in the middle of the night.
Should I not put the diaper on him and lets both see what happens, or continue to slip it on at night?

If you don't care about the sheets then don't put the diaper on him... give him the chance to prove himself and if you keep treating him like a baby still then it will hurt his feelings. Evertually he will get it all right with time just be patient.

Wow. I wish I had read this or had a computer when this thread had ran with my kids. My oldest was the hardest... not potty trained until 27 months. My youngest I honestly don't remember. She was always an "I do it myself" kind of kid. I was a solo mom working twelve hours a day since they were born. I don't remember potty training the second one. But I know she hates me now. God I wish I had had a partner in raising them. My oldest was so strong but my youngest really needed a dad. This link made me cry fopr my kids. So many good dads out there. I feel so bad for my kids that I picked such a bad one.

Don't be so hard on yourself KristinaS, sounds like you did what had to be done and did the best you could at it. Had you not worked hard to support your family, they'd have nothing... Your youngest Will realize this one day.
Kae

I never put another diaper on my son after my last post...
He has not had one accident.
Thanks everyone!!
Kae

KristinaS, you need to stop being so tough on yourself. You can only do the best you can do in any given situation and no better. You did the best you could. There is no way you can do any better than your best.

Kae!!

Great to hear!! Good job. How is the strep going?

Hi J
We go to the doctor today (Monday).
I have my can of Lysol right beside me... LOL
You know what I thought of when I went to put my lipstick on this morning... You got it... to the trash it went... along with all the chapsticks I could find. I had no idea!! This has been so crazy...
You live and you learn...
And I'm so proud of my little guy too. Diapers are now a thing of the past...
Kae

Quote:

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Originally Posted by AKaeTrue

My son turned 3 years old in April and will not use the potty! He's not interested and wants nothing to do with it. We have tried all the usual approaches without any luck.
Any good ideas???
I've already tried
1- puting a potty that makes a flushing sound and a hurray sound in front of the tv with a potty training dvd - hated it
2- removed the flushing and hurray sound from the potty - hated it
3- tried letting him wear big boy underwear and use the big potty or little potty - just goes as if he's wearing a diaper
4- tried "go potty get a piece of candy" - didnt want candy that bad
5- every 15 to 30 minutes tried sitting him on the potty - only fuled a huge timper tantrum
6- tried taking bathroom breaks w/ his dad - thats not going to work

any ideas are greatly needed
thanks,
Kae

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He will use the potty when he is ready. Thw worst thing you could do is rush him!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Angelikat

He will use the potty when he is ready. Thw worst thing you could do is rush him!

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Angelikat, you're correct, rushing things isn't good and did not speed up the process.
We've been doing the potty thing for a while now, and I'm proud to say that he's a pro.
Kae

isn't it amazing?

one minute they are yelling and fighting and absolutely contrary about it... then its suddenly OK.

glad to hear he's "pro" now. =)

my son also didn't care for any techniques... four weeks before he was to start preschool after just turning 3 we switched to underwear and never turned back.

after three weeks of awful messes, and bottles and buckets of bleach, he just suddenly stopped soiling his underwear... one week before school was to start. Yea-ha!

it's the little pleasures in life, eh?

our daughter was completely different. The minute she realized she didn't need to soil herself she quit.