Ok well, I am never the kind of girlfriend that would be annoyed by my boyfriend hanging out with another girl. BUT my boyfriend has broken my trust before a couple times when I have gone out of the city he has developed a liking towards whichever girl he ends up talking to while I'm gone. One time it was my best friend! And he told her straight up that he liked her while I was away, she told me when I got back and he never said a word about what went on while I was gone.
So I went away this past weekend and he hung out with this girl.. alone.. and they went and got milkshakes.. and the night before they were sharing seat belts and what not when they were with a group.
So usually I would not care but since he seems to like the girls that talk to him... should I be worried about this latest incident?
I never can seem to hide when something is bugging me and he can always tell when there's something on my mind, so I want to know if I should be bothered because if he asks I will have to explain what's on my mind... will I look like an idiot?
[we've been together 3 years, we're in grade 12]

I think you should've left him once he crossed the lines with your best friend. He proved to you time after time that he can't be faithful so why keep putting yourself through the stress for someone that isn't worthy of you.

Every time you go away he finds someone new to be with because what? He can't handle being alone? You save yourself a lot pain by moving on.

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Originally Posted by NeedSomeAir

Ok well, I am never the kind of girlfriend that would be annoyed by my boyfriend hanging out with another girl. BUT my boyfriend has broken my trust before a couple times when I have gone out of the city he has developed a liking towards whichever girl he ends up talking to while I'm gone. One time it was my best friend! and he told her straight up that he liked her while I was away, she told me when I got back and he never said a word about what went on while I was gone.
So I went away this past weekend and he hung out with this girl.. alone.. and they went and got milkshakes.. and the night before they were sharing seat belts and what not when they were with a group.
So usually I would not care but since he seems to like the girls that talk to him... should I be worried about this latest incident?
I never can seem to hide when something is bugging me and he can always tell when there's something on my mind, so I want to know if I should be bothered because if he asks I will have to explain what's on my mind... will I look like an idiot?
[we've been together 3 years, we're in grade 12]

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Haha, I know I would be annoyed! I think what you are feeling is accurate, valid and natural. You say he has broken your trust before, if you continually take him back though he “ought” to know it bothers you (it doesn’t take a brain to see that what he is doing is unfair) but have you told him how you feel? Is he aware? If you have and he continues to have “emotional” encounters this is not acceptable; by you taking him back is showing him inadvertently or indirectly that it’s OK with you when it is not. It is apparent that you need to tell him this. It is one thing to go out in the company of the opposite sex for companionship, but it is another thing to find a girlfriend or go on dates to develop an emotional or sexual liking to in your absence. Does he tell you about going out? Or do your girlfriends fill you in when you get back? It looks as though he is not being totally honest with you and I think for a three year relationship…you deserve at least that.

To me he sounds a bit like a Player, but it’s not unusual…you are both very young and still have a lot to go. I don’t think you should get all worked up over this incident but I do think you should talk to him and lay it all down…put the ball in his court and see how he responds. You won’t look like an idiot, you are making your point clear and saying “don’t try to pull the wool over my eyes; I am not stupid”. Also I think you need to be prepared to move on as well.

Yes I do think you should be worried. Your man is most likely cheating on you. Why stick around and wonder and worry? He should be with you on those nights not another chick. First off, listen to your gut it's always right. Second, try asking him if you guys can all hang out. Chances are probably slim she is probably just a friend, but if she is, your BF should have no problem bringing YOU along to hang out. If he makes up excuses, acts suspicious etc he is cheating on you. Don't hold on to him if so - you deserve better.

You need to say something, and you need to move on. Its simple.

Sounds like he isn't all that interested in you. He may say he is but somewhere inside he isn't and he may even be in denial to himself that he isn't. It sounds like he really doesn't know what he wants, not sure of himself and not ready for any relationship. Sounds to me like you should do the dumping before he leaves you for somebody else.
Not worth working on something that isn't going anywhere.