Ask Me Help Desk - Teen Marriage/Baby

I am almost 18 and my fiancé is 19. He asked me to marry him in November. Everyone has been really supportive. That was after the initial shock of course. We are deeply in love. We have dated enough people and this is something totally new to us. We are the same person inside and out yet balance off each others' good and bad qualities. We are planning to get married in August. We haven't told our families that part yet. We are kind of afraid of their reactions. We have heard it all from you need to make sure you have money, stable jobs and reliable vehicles. No one doubts our commitment at all which is a very big relief. We want a simple wedding. Only our parents and My maid of honor and my fiance's best man. We are getting the marriage license of course first. We don't want anyone to marry us. We believe we don't need anyone telling us it's OK. We are in love and that's all that counts. Love conquers all. We are going to write our own vows and read them to each other. Then have a great big party to celebrate. Two major problems...

1. His parents are very religious and we are afraid they are going to get mad that we not only are not getting married in a church but not even by a minister.

2. Everyone is convinced I'm pregnant since we are so young. It is driving me crazy! Can't love be enough? But anyway. We aren't planning our baby at all. We are waiting until marriage to have sex. And I'm afraid If I get pregnant soon after everyone is going to be like told you she was pregnant. My fiancé and I are all about family and love and share the same parenting ideals. We are oddly mature for our ages and have great jobs and plenty of money saved. We are welcome of a baby at any time that is not the issue. It's more of people's reactions that are driving me insane. I don't want everything thinking I got married because I was pregnant. But my future husband and I do want a baby but we aren't planning. So if it happens on our honeymoon, what do I tell people so they understand why we are having a baby and that I got pregnant after our wedding?

1. Make it clear to people that this is your day and you want to make it special to YOU

2. Don't worry what people think. It is none of their business when you conceive. Maybe talk about someday when you have a baby...
And if they want to believe otherwise that is their own problem.
People have ''dirty minds'' no matter what you say or do. Like even after you are married you can end up with people saying it is the milkman's baby or the UPS baby. So enjoy your life and live it for you and your guy. Don't worry about what others think.
I often just laugh and say 'aren't you funny when people start with their comments that I don't want to be bothered with.

Quote:

Originally Posted by YoungAndEngaged

I am almost 18 and my fiance is 19. He asked me to marry him in November. Everyone has been really supportive. That was after the initial shock of course. We are deeply in love. We have dated enough people and this is something totally new to us. We are the same person inside and out yet balance off each others' good and bad qualities. We are planning to get married in August. We haven't told our families that part yet. We are kind of afraid of their reactions. We have heard it all from you need to make sure you have money, stable jobs and reliable vehicles. No one doubts our commitment at all which is a very big relief. We want a simple wedding. Only our parents and My maid of honor and my fiance's best man. We are getting the marriage license of course first. We don't want anyone to marry us. We believe we don't need anyone telling us it's ok. We are in love and that's all that counts. Love conquers all. We are going to write our own vows and read them to each other. Then have a great big party to celebrate. Two major problems...

1. His parents are very religious and we are afraid they are going to get mad that we not only are not getting married in a church but not even by a minister.

2. Everyone is convinced I'm pregnant since we are so young. It is driving me crazy! Can't love be enough? But anyway. We aren't planning our baby at all. We are waiting until marriage to have sex. And I'm afraid If I get pregnant soon after everyone is going to be like told you she was pregnant. My fiance and I are all about family and love and share the same parenting ideals. We are oddly mature for our ages and have great jobs and plenty of money saved. We are welcome of a baby at any time that is not the issue. It's more of people's reactions that are driving me insane. I don't want everything thinking I got married because I was pregnant. But my future husband and I do want a baby but we aren't planning. So if it happens on our honeymoon, what do I tell people so they understand why we are having a baby and that I got pregnant after our wedding?

If you're old enough to get married you're old enough not to care what gossip people care to spread around. And if the gossip DOES bother you, then use birth control for a month or two and they won't gossip and you won't have to explain.

Also, if you're old enough to get married and both families are very supportive, then you're old enough to tell the families the truth about the when/where/how of the ceremony. If you don't tell them and it comes as a shock, they realize it's been the plan all along, you will only offend them.