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-   -   Scared to start anything (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=286235)

  • Nov 29, 2008, 06:29 AM
    jiltedgirl
    Scared to start anything
    So a relationship ended around 3 months ago. I was mostly hurt because I let someone manipulate and lie to me. I am mostly over it and him. I made amends with him. True, I had a few awkward and panicked run-ins with him, but I've been content with myself. Maybe not excited and happy, but content nevertheless. I let go of the anger and resentment. I even told him I no longer had hard feelings, and he didn't have to run the other way like a scared kitten. I was okay with the fact he never replied. It was my version of closure. However, I told myself that I would not date for a long time. I would stay alone instead, and take the time to heal.

    The thing is, I recently met this guy and I really really like him. But now that I've discovered he's interested in me, I'm petrified of getting to know him on a deeper level. I feel happy when I spend time with him, but I also feel quite anxious, especially as people clue me in on how he was "neglectful" with his ex-girlfriend. I'm honestly afraid of proceeding any further and getting hurt.

    It's not like I would rush into things with him (learned the lesson last time), but at the same time, I don't want to push him away by acting uninterested, which is what I've started to do because I'm scared. I was really assertive and outgoing beforehand. Now I've started to become shy and closed up. What should I do?
  • Nov 29, 2008, 07:00 AM
    talaniman
    Balance the assertive, with the shy, and take your time getting to know if he is worthy enough of you. There is no hurry, so don't get out on a limb. You already know that liking someone is not enough, so find out a lot more before you invest your heart, all the rumors aside.

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