My fiancé and I both want a small wedding just a few select friends and family, problem is my mothers side of the family is huge 1 brother and 4 sisters and then about 100 cousins and my fathers side isn't as big but there's still a lot.

I don't get along with most of them our views are different and they treat anyone that doesn't follow exactly the same things they do like... so there's maybe 1 person on my mothers side and 3 people of my fathers side I want to invite.

So how do I go about inviting the people I want without inviting them all, without them treating us worse then they already do?

We don't want people at out wedding that look down on us and critise us and other certain family members like my mother just cause we don't share the same beliefs.

If you want a small wedding, it's best only to invite immediate family, so siblings and parents, and make it very clear on the invite.
It's best not to start cherry picking other relations as this will only cause bad feeling further down the line.

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Originally Posted by Curlyben

If you want a small wedding, it's best only to invite immediate family, so siblings and parents, and make it very clear on the invite.
It's best not to start cherry picking other relations as this will only cause bad feeling further down the line.

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Problem is my uncle is the closest thing I have to a father since my dad died so I've asked him to give me away.

There is no reason you should invite relatives who are not kind to you. Invite whomever you want. Don't invite those you don't wish to invite.

The only thing I would suggest, is go over the guest list with your parents before finalizing it. They might offer relavant input.

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Originally Posted by KathleenMarie

Problem is my uncle is the closest thing I have to a father since my dad died so I've asked him to give me away.

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Chances are, the family probably knows that you are close to your uncle because your Dad isn't there physically, although I'm sure he'll be watching over you. You could possibly send out fancy notes, similar to invitations, to the relatives you don't want to invite. You could say something like...

"You will be in our thoughts on our special day, and your well wishes for us will be the best present we could wish for. We are having an intimate ceremony, but I know you will all be here with us in spirit, on the best day of our lives. Please forgive us for our budget not allowing us to invite all of our dear relatives, and we know in our heart that you will forgive us, as we are not intentionally excluding you. We will send you all a picture of our day. Love you all."

How's that for sucking up? LOL!

Seriously though, if you don't want certain people there, kill them with kindness, and they will have no reason to come around and get angry with you.

Well Just tell them you wanted a small wedding and it's your and your fiance's wedding. The economy isn't that great. And you only want immediate family. Keep in mind you go into the $15 bucks per head and x200 adds up. If you really think they may hurt your special day in anyway would you really want them there?