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-   -   Could I be ending someone's "perfect relationship"? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=285820)

  • Nov 27, 2008, 06:04 PM
    coolkidjones
    Could I be ending someone's "perfect relationship"?
    Hey there. So there's this guy who has had this girlfriend for about 2 years now... I know... weird for this to happen in high school right? So I met him about 2 months ago, and we connected so easily.. like I felt like I've known him forever and for some reason I feel drawn to him. So I asked my friend who knew him what he was about and everything and she told me he has a girlfriend he's practically "in love with" and nothing could ever come between them. So I decided yeah, okay maybe I should back off then! Haha so much for that. 2 weeks ago, we were together after school... and I felt like going to his locker with him and when we got there we were by ourselves and he got really flirty like all of a sudden... ( the worst thing that happened was he shanked me and saw my thong, nothing more.) but I completley forgot he had a girlfriend until after we started hugging a lot and stuff so I asked what time it was and he was like ohh dude you're right, I have to go, so we went our different ways. I was thinking a little about this because he was being kind of suggestive with me but I was just like "oh thats just how he is" but I was wrong. A week later, right after school I walked past him while he was sitting on a bench with a bunch of his friends and he whispered in my ear "wanna go hookup somewhere?" I guess I was in shock because I smiled a lot and looked away... but then the good person inside me pulled him to the side and told him "but you have a girlfriend..." and it was a blur, but I think he said something like "its okay" and then I told him that I would feel bad... and I guess the conversation just continued with us standing awkwardly off to the side until I had to leave. But like I was in total shock because in reality I really would have liked to, but since I'm a nice person I guess you could say I did the right thing... part of me regrets not hooking up with him altogether, but the other part feels like I did a good thing, but still wants him to have those feelings for me. I also sent him a message telling him how I felt about the whole thing.. so my question is, will he still be interested in me or did I talk sense into him and his feelings toward me are done? Thank youuu :)
  • Nov 27, 2008, 06:22 PM
    ZoeMarie

    It's hard to say. What I don't understand is why you would want to be with someone that isn't faithful. If he's flirting with you while he has a girlfriend, what's to say he wouldn't do the same thing to you if you guys got together.

    You did do the right thing though, by reminding him he has a girlfriend and not "hooking up" with him. Now it's up to him to decide if he wants to be with his girlfriend or break up with her if he he wants to be with you.
  • Nov 27, 2008, 06:27 PM
    coolkidjones

    True. But what I didn't add is that when I talked to the girl who's known him for a long time, I told her about the first little thing by the lockers... and she said she would keep it a secret, and she was a little wierded out because she said that he would never ever would flirt with any girl like he did with me besides his girlfriend, so this is making me think I could be the reason he breaks up with her and may go with me... I don't know, but all I know is that he isn't the type to do this to his girlfriend.
  • Nov 28, 2008, 05:38 PM
    YourDarkMystery
    well honestly, if u really dig the guy. knowing he has a girlfriend, yet hes still fooling around... he seems shady to me.

    all guys want in high schoolis one thing. and if ur willing to give it to him, any kinda of attention not just sex. he will take it. it doesnt matter if he has a gf or not. its just what they do.

    but if ur falling for him emtionally and you dont just wanna be another hook up, i think u should think twice about this boy ur intrested in.

    its good u didnt do anything. he doesnt sound worth the trouble
  • Nov 28, 2008, 05:42 PM
    Alty

    Quote:

    but all I know is that he isn't the type to do this to his girlfriend.
    Really, because he did it. So, I guess he is the type.

    If he really wants you then he should break up with his girlfriend. The fact that he hasn't means he's a two timer. You're better off without him.
  • Nov 29, 2008, 02:17 PM
    coolkidjones

    Okay. This all sounds like to me I should just back off until he breaks up with his girlfriend... if he breaks up with her. Thanks for all the advice guys! :D
  • Nov 29, 2008, 02:54 PM
    Chery
    Hello back at you.
    First, I want to tell you a little about myself. I'm 57 years old so my eyes are not the best. And I have learned how to write properly and use sentences so that people can read what I write with more comfort.

    When I see a post that is full of words without breaks in between, my first impression of that person (without having read any of what they wrote or without knowing how nice they can be) is that they are lazy and inconsiderate. So, please excuse this initial impression - but - from now on, could you please write properly here... I would really appreciate this - and thanks in advance for helping me out here...

    Now, to your question
    .. What in the world is ''shank''? And he called you ''Dude''? And.. of course he will be interested in you and many, many other girls. He is going to play the field as long as he can and not think about it at all. That's just the way boys his age think and act - fact of life. He is not looking for a long-standing relationship. He's looking to get hooked up with as many girls as he can in his life until he's matured enough to realize that there is more to a 'relationship' than just Hooking-Up and moving on to the next. He will hurt many feelings until one day he gets rejected and hurt. Then he will realize what he has done. You are the one who will have to find out if all he wants is another bed-fellow, or really wants to get to know you before going too far. Then it will be your choice to make on what you do. If he is a fast-mover and wants just one thing, then you should be out looking for a guy who will respect you more.

    And, at your age, you will probably also date many guys. This is the age where you 'test the waters' so to speak, and grow and learn how to act and also learn about yourself and the type of 'partner' that will interest you in the future.

    We've all been there and done that at your age. The only thing I recommend is that you make sure that you are 'safe' at all times and make sure that the guy respects you. You also have to respect and live with yourself during this stage in life, so choose carefully and don't let anyone take advantage of you and talk you into doing things you are not ready for so that you will have no regrets. It's not like this guy is going to wind up being your life-mate - it's way too early to even look for that in a guy. Just stay calm, enjoy dating, and make FRIENDS. Yes, the guys we dated when we were your age can be our friends, years down the road, as long as we can communicate and respect each other and learn from our mistakes without acting like it's the end of the world if we split up.. Get my message?

    It is OK to have a crush on someone, date them, and it might last a long time getting to know each other and having fun. That's what life is about. So, go out there and enjoy life and have some fun. Again, just make sure that you stay healthy and safe. After all, that body of your's is the only one you'll have for the rest of your life - respect it!

    Let us know how this works out, and try not to place any guy in the center of your universe... do your best to follow your goals for your future - and still have fun in life.

    http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_11_2.gif
  • Nov 30, 2008, 12:29 PM
    coolkidjones

    All right, thanks for all that advice! :) and I'm sorry, I am no good at english and writing :( but ill try to be more considerate.

    Yeah, I'm just going to see how it goes tomorrow. It will be the first time I've seen him since he asked me to hook up with him, so it should be interesting.

    I've been trying to imagine how we will be, like if everything will just go on as we were before, pretending like nothing happened... or if it will be awkward? It shouldn't be, but what if he wants to stay away from me because he's attracted to me? I don't know... way too many thoughts!

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