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-   -   Should I leave this man alone? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=285803)

  • Nov 27, 2008, 04:09 PM
    rececup
    Should I leave this man alone?
    Mess Details:
    Hi,
    I had a good relationship with a man that I met over 4 years ago, We met first, starting as a business, (he paid me for sex) but as time went on feelings started getting involved as time went on. We spent time together, he told me that he loves me and I replied and at first I wasn't sure but gradually I started to fall in love. Not to long ago I got pregnant and we both decided that it wasn't a good idea to have the child because I already have 2 and I live with my parents and he is not stabled at the time he is also living with his mother and she currently gets high. He also told me a lot about his past. He did not have a childhood. He told me he has issues with women and that he use to date a lot of prostitutes, dancers and drug addicts. He also stated that he took anger management that he did not finish following through. He paid for my abortion and he was there for me through the whole thing but after that he told me that he loves me and that when we both get our lives together we would come as one and start a family. He hasn't called me since it has been a week. I've tried calling him but he refuses to awnser my call we live about 45 min driving distance from each other he use to come and see me I had a friend call him from another # he awnsered but we hung up I am really hurt and I feel rejected. Does any body no why this is happening?? Ps, He also has a 2 year old and he has had a previous abusive relationship with his baby mother and he went as far as asking me to come to court with him to press charges against her because she was stalking him and we were inside of his car she followed us and hit us from behind 3 times from the back but I told him that I did not want to get involved...
  • Nov 27, 2008, 04:47 PM
    J_9
    Wow, what a drama!! I sure wouldn't want to be involved in that mess. Think about it, is this the kind of life you want to live? Is this how you want to raise your children?
  • Nov 27, 2008, 04:48 PM
    xoxaprilwine
    He paid you for sex... does he still pay you for sex? Could it still be a business relationship?

    You have two children of your own to think about let alone the possibility of having another one. Are you sure you want this kind of lifestyle around your kids? They evidently have been exposed to your lifestyle but to be with him would worsen the situation.

    If he has relationships with prostitutes, dancers and drug addicts do you honestly think he will be loyal to you? Do you want to die from a serious STD?

    He has a problem. He has an addictive personality. From a sex addiction (in the worst form) to drugs... it is in his family and anger management isn't what he needs. He needs counseling for addictions... including alcoholism. Do you honestly think that his ex or babies mama is the problem or do you think it is his inability to commit to a relationship due to intimacy reasons and addiction? I think he is at a fault.

    He paid for your abortion and helped you get through it then has not been in touch with you for a week. He eliminated a problem for himself and everything he does is self absorbed... do you really think he loves you? If he loved you he wouldn't distance himself emotionally from you.

    Loose him and work on your own esteem issues... go back to school and do something for yourself.
  • Nov 27, 2008, 11:24 PM
    xoxaprilwine
    You sound like you have been through a lot of pain in your life and I am really sorry. Maybe you made some bad decisions but don't let that stop you from making new and better ones for you and for your children now. There is someone or a "Mr. Right" out there but I really think you should focus on you; love and forgive yourself and don't be so hard on yourself. Believe you can do it and you will. Be done with being a servant and be your own boss... take charge of your life and take ownership of your faults or wrong doings. Get up dust yourself off and try again, you are human and you have everything to gain.

    I believe you can do it, so take what's yours and don't let some guy like that get in the way... he has everything to loose.

    Best of luck and warmest wishes this holiday :).

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