Ask Me Help Desk - Can oppsite sex kids share a bedroom?

I live in Oregon and I have 2 kids, one is 6 and is female the other is 12 and is a male. Both of the kids have autism and I just left my hisban not that long ago due to abuse. I am unable to work at this time due to the kids both being on ssi for their autism and the needs that the kids have but I am looking for employment. My income is very limited at this time and I do not have the money to get a 3 bedroom apartment so I am forced to get a 2 bedroom and as it is that is allmost $700.00 a month. Can the 2 kids share a room with each other and I take the other room or will I have to let the kids both have a room and me make the living room my bedroom or is that against the law in Oregon as well?

I cannot imagine any state in the country having any law on this subject. The same question was asked earlier (the difference perhaps being that it involved non-austic kids) and I am baffled why anyone would even think that there would be a law anywhere barring children of the opposite gender from sharing a room.

I know that Oregon has a law I am just not able to find the age for that law and if it applies to kids that are MR with autism for in all but body they are younger. My son is 12 but he acts and thinks like a 5 yr old. My daugter is 6 but acts and thinks like a 2 yr old. I am not sureif this makes a difference or not in Oregon law but I know that there is one somewhere.

I would say regardless of a law or not I would make the livingroom a bedroom and maybe for dressing purposes share part of the daughters bedroom ( like 1/2 the dresser and closet ). Not because of any illicit behavior but because they aren't in a capacity to share a room ( unsupervised ). If your son is now 12 and getting older it means he is also getting much larger about now. Depending on the autistic behavior if he acts out and your daughter is in front of that action then things could get serious real quick. Really for their own protection there should be separate bedrooms.

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Originally Posted by laurasrockin79

I know that oregon has a law I am just not able to find the age for that law and if it applies to kids that are MR with autism for in all but body they are younger. My son is 12 but he acts and thinks like a 5 yr old. My daugter is 6 but acts and thinks liuke a 2 yr old. I am not sureif this makes a differance or not in oregon law but I know that there is one somewhere.

California has no such law. Check with an Oregon attorney, of course, but why would Oregon have such a law? For what purpose?

One other solution is to let the boy have the smaller of the two rooms and you and your daughter can share the master bed room. I know big beds are nice but you can each have a twin and fit easily that way you still have a living room as well.

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Originally Posted by cadillac59

California has no such law. Check with an Oregon attorney, of course, but why would Oregon have such a law? For what purpose?

I have no idea what the purpose would be and I'm not in Oregon or California but it probably is related to what may or may not be in the best interest if children - if you search through the various posts and research on this subject there are laws in some States, including very strict laws when it comes to subsidized housing.

In some States it applies specifically to foster children. In Oregon the site is http://www.dhs.state.or.us/policy/ch...al_2/ii-g1.pdf. It refers to agencies/foster care/children in danger. As far as the "why," well, someone would have to contact Oregon and ask. Perhaps this is what the OP is referencing.

As I understand it parents are encouraged NOT to have opposite sex children after a certain age share a bedroom because trouble-making neighbors and family can turn that into an issue with CPS but, again, I cannot specifically address Oregon, where the OP lives, and California.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I have no idea what the purpose would be and I'm not in Oregon or California but it probably is related to what may or may not be in the best interest if children - if you search through the various posts and research on this subject there are laws in some States, including very strict laws when it comes to subsidized housing.

In some States it applies specifically to foster children. In Oregon the site is http://www.dhs.state.or.us/policy/ch...al_2/ii-g1.pdf. It refers to agencies/foster care/children in danger. As far as the "why," well, someone would have to contact Oregon and ask. Perhaps this is what the OP is referencing.

As I understand it parents are encouraged NOT to have opposite sex children after a certain age share a bedroom because trouble-making neighbors and family can turn that into an issue with CPS but, again, I cannot specifically address Oregon, where the OP lives, and California.

I thank you for your advise. I did already look at that site before I posted as well. I have also sent emails to cps a few weeks ago and am still waiting for a response. I just wish that there were other options out there for me but rent is too much and the only way I can get approved for a program for a 3 bedroom is to take my kids to a homeless shelter for a while. With their autism I feel that is not something I can do. At this point I hate Oregon laws and feel that they are stupid for the most part. Who ever heard of a judge dimissing a restraing order when the husband admits that he said he was thinking of killing us and that he had vision in his head of how he was going to do so just because he has been on meds for a month. Its due to things like this that make me question what I can and can not do at this point.

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Originally Posted by laurasrockin79

I thank you for your advise. I did allready look at that site before I posted as well. I have also sent emails to cps a few weeks ago and am still waiting for a responce. I just wish that there were other options out there for me but rent is to much and the only way I can get approved for a program for a 3 bedroom is to take my kids to a homeless shelter for a while. With their autism I feel that is not something I can do. At this point I hate oregon laws and feel that they are stupid for the most part. Who ever heard of a judge dimissing a restraing order when the husband admits that he said he was thinking of killing us and that he had vision in his head of how he was going to do so just because he has been on meds for a month. Its due to things like this that make me question what I can and can not do at this point.

I absolutely understand what you are saying. That site - which you and I both read - is aimed for people who are attempting to be licensed to take in foster children, not aimed at birth (natural) parents. You are the children's birth mother so those regulations DO NOT apply to you. Your concern shows through in your posting and you have to do - at this point - what is best for your children. Maybe they have separate rooms and you take the livingroom; maybe they can share a room but you would have to be prepared if some who wants to cause trouble decides to make that an issue.

There seem to be a lot of suggestions out there on the Internet but no law - and, of course, sending them to a shelter, going to a shelter is the worse thing you can do all the way around.

You have to do the best you can do with what you have right now. As long as you look at all sides of this and then make a clear decision you really should be all right.

Maybe someone else will come along with some ideas and/or the law but if no one does, please come back and let us know how you are doing? My best friend has an autistic child and I know how very, very difficult things can get.

I just think it is absolutely bizarre that anyone would suggest that opposite gender siblings not be permitted by law to share the same bedroom (some parents choose this for various reasons I suppose if they are lucky enough to have the option). This is 2008, not 1898.

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Originally Posted by cadillac59

I just think it is absolutely bizzare that anyone would suggest that opposite gender siblings not be permitted by law to share the same bedroom (some parents choose this for various reasons I suppose if they are lucky enough to have the option). This is 2008, not 1898.

In my state it is illegal for landlords to rent a 2 bedroom dwelling to a family of 4 where the children are of opposite sexes of any age. You see, at any given point in a child's life, they become sexually curious.

As far as I know there is no legislation in any US state that covers this.

If the issue is addressed its only addressed in terms of foster care, subsidized housing or similar circumstances.

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Originally Posted by J_9

In my state it is illegal for landlords to rent a 2 bedroom dwelling to a family of 4 where the children are of opposite sexes of any age. You see, at any given point in a child's life, they become sexually curious.

Well please let me know what state that is so I can be sure never to go there; because if that's true it is upsetting to think that any state's legislature would be so lazy as to have neglected the repeal of such a relic as that.