Wants to be with me, needs time, needs space
We dated for a year. She lived 30 minutes away. Things were great. I got into trouble end of our first year and lost my license for 6 months and things started to go south. We lasted about 7 more months struggling while I could not drive anywhere. We ended it mutually without a real definitive why from either of us. Just kind of went our own ways. Approximately 3 months later she texts me "Are you happy". I was doing fine, but glad to hear from her. I saw her for about a week after that text and she pretty much said she loved me wanted to be with me and just wanted to make it happen. At that very time I was leaving for a week and a half and didn't have an answer for her. I came back from my vacation all the while thinking of her and decisions and I call her about a week later. We then see each other for the past 2 weeks. Now she says she is busy, met a younger guy that will lead to nothing, but just needs time and space. Throughout our first year she told me she loved me, wanted to marry etc. I never responded without a dodge. So as I have thought things over, now 4.5 months later, from the initial breakup. I realized she is the one. So I told her everything she wanted with me is what I want, but it just took me a while to open up, not dodge or hide my feelings and commit (she would always call me a commitmentphobe). Well this is during the latest 2 week stint where she needs time and space now. She told me she still loved me, wanted to be with me, likes that I am talking now, loves what I am saying, BUT likes hanging out with her friends, is busy with school and at a determining point of making her program AND kind of met this young guy who is nothing serious, but is around her friends a lot. She told me it would go nowhere, but all I think is she wants a quick fling with this youngster. Anyhow I lose it and spiral into a dark hole of hurt. She says we are not completely over, but needs time and space because she is stressed. I have started the no contact for 2 days now. It is very hard and my mind just races horribly.
The weird thing is we plan xmas and things to buy for her daughter, we all go to her brothers for the weekend, upon our return she tells me to leave, I have "seen her too much lately". She gives and takes on a daily basis. One night she is happy and feels good I am over. The next I have to leave and she does not want to talk.
