The man I have had a sexual relationship with for the past 5 yrs made a very strange comment the last time we were together.He said that I "scare him". At first I didn't really know what the hell he was talking about so I asked him and all he said was it because of the kind of person that I am.

Now I know that I am a very strong woman. I am very independent etc.. But if these kinds of things are bothering him why keep coming back and not go and find someone who is less "scary"? I feel that this is part of the reason that draws him to me. Or could this be just another lame excuse for not wanting a more serious commitment?

Ask him to elloborate.

Maybe it is because you are independent and strong.

Maybe he is using it as an excuse.

His answer as to because the kind of person you are is simply not enough of an explanation.

You know the first thing that came to my mind? You scare him, not because you are "scary", but because he has feelings for you, when he thought this was just going to be a sexual relationship! It might just scare him that he actually has feelings for you, other than sexual ones.

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Originally Posted by starbuck8

You know the first thing that came to my mind? You scare him, not because you are "scary", but because he has feelings for you, when he thought this was just going to be a sexual relationship! It might just scare him that he actually has feelings for you, other than sexual ones.

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Yes... exactly... which is why he would be using this as an excuse.

;)

After 5 years, you don't know what he means? Ask him for chrissake.

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Or could this be just another lame excuse for not wanting a more serious commitment?

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Why would he change what works?? He sounds happy to me.