I am a "soon-to-be" 20 year old virgin. My girlfriend of 3 years cheated on me a while ago with a 13 year old. Yes, she had sex with her, and I know that's illegal but the 13 year old doesn't want to press charges. Basically when we first met we were both virgins, but apparently she couldn't wait for me and therefore, the results. She went and found someone else. My question is this: when do you know you're ready for it? Is something wrong with me? I'm scared of losing my virginity.

I recently tried stepping to the next level with my girlfriend, but she turned me down! She said I need to "turn her on first." How am I suppose to do that if I have like absolutely no experience! I just hope she's not doing it with someone else behind my back, again. :/ "..two times shame on me"

It is scary as your first time but you just got to do it, get a bottle of red wine, cook some dinner, and bang her. Its all about the mood.

I don't think the important issue here is about virginity at all.

It's about you needing to take a second look at your relationship with this girl. Which it appears you have... why are you still with her? There is something seriously wrong with that girl if she had sex with a 13 year old. Wrong wrong wrong... how can you even look at her.

Losing your virginity will only be scary if you're uncomfortable with the person you're with. You saying you're afraid of it now essentially means that you're not ready, and she's not the one you should lose it to either. Or have anything to do with for that matter.

Ripped, as far as I'm concerned, your virginity is a back burner issue. There are so many red flags in what you wrote, you could only save your seat by saying that you're a very naïve "soon-to-be" 20 year old.

There is something very wrong with your girlfriend. Exactly how old is she? At least you said she's old enough for what she did to be illegal. Do you know why her actions are illegal? It's because they are considered molestation and statutory rape when its done by someone significantly older. Do not take that lightly! It's not just illegal; it's also highly immoral. She sounds to me like nothing less than a manipulator. She's also a predator.

You don't need to be in a relationship with someone like that. Get out of it. Wait until you find someone worthy of your trust. It sounds to me like you have some big self-esteem issues. Address those first. Start believing in what your gut tells you. You don't trust her, and you shouldn't. This "turn her on" business is odd. If she's not naturally turned on to you, why is she with you? You might be a virgin, but that doesn't mean that you can't be seductive in a natural way. Just don't bother doing that with her. Kick this one into the road. Get yourself respect back and good people will be drawn to you. There are enough good ones in the world that you shouldn't be wasting your time with someone who is obviously not.

Hey everyone,

Thanks for giving me some feedback. It's really hard to let go of someone that you've been with for 3 years. I recently tried ending it, for the 5th time, this month, but she keeps clenching on to me. She's my weakness! Apparently.

I know her having relations with a 13 year old was WRONG, and disgusting. Her defense is this: "She doesn't look 13 nor acts 13. She's mature. No big deal"

The day I found out she was sleeping with that other girl behind my back, I wanted to do something to her, like take her to court! The 13 year old didn't cooperate though.

I guess we weren't meant to be.

So the young teen she was sleeping with was female? Wow.:(. Maybe you should take this as a time to move on. There are other women in the world that would treat you better in a relationship

Ripped, you need to get rid of this girl. I'm dead serious on this. I don't know who old she is, but seeing that you are 20, I'm guessing that she is closer to your age then the 13 yr old. She might have used it in her defense that the 13 yr old doesn't act 13. But she is still 13... per definition a child and when she is willing to crawl into bed with a 13 year old and not you... she has some serious issues.

You need to be strong in this, and you need to get over her as your weakness. I really simpathies to that a fact. I've head a weakness for an x boyfriend as well. But this does not seem like a healthy relationship and although you have a 3 yr history... you need to get rid of her!! and besides i kinda feel your gf needs some serious help!

And i really get that you don't want to loose your virginity to her. You should get rid of her, get over her (by doing some serious self pampering, self loving and self searching)

and after that you should get a girl who deserves you and who deserves your virginity!

I am 25, two kids and a man that is hardly around. I know he is cheatin on me for sure and it is not a good feeling. I think you should keep your virginity, its classy, its unique, its unusual and the special person that does eventually get it, will appreciate you that much more. If your "friend" is treating you like this now, trust me it will only get worse. I have only slept with him (kids father) and if it wasn't for my kids, I would regret the decision to give it up more than anything else. Your worth waiting for. :)

I think you have been using her to be the excitement in your life while you remain passive... she's not bound by conventional morality; she's not afraid and has a strong personality and opinion.

I think you two have yourselves a sick relationship going.

You need to gain strength of personality and courage... I think you may need professional help to grow.

You must end this relationship. Don't even think of having sex yet.

Very best wishes to you going forward, :)

Keep your virginity, lose the g/f. You need some one who is special, and who cares.

Simple don't waste any more of your time on a cheater. There are far better women out there which will make far better girlfriends or future wives.

Get away from this girl. She's bad news.. jesus, what a b***h!

You won't be scared when you lose your virginity to the right person. It will all come together. :)