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-   -   Can I say I love you (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=285332)

  • Nov 25, 2008, 11:16 PM
    homeworkgirl
    Can I say I love you
    I want to let him know I love him because I love him. He told me that he likes me a lot. Every evening when he texted me good night, I really wanted to tell him that I love him. But I am afraid it's too fast to say it, because since he let me know he likes me it has just been a few weeks. Should I wait? But how long can I wait for saying what speaks aloud in my heart?
  • Nov 25, 2008, 11:54 PM
    baho

    Wait, I ave learned from experience that the butterflies in your belly and flutters in your heart are most often lust. Years from now you may look back and regret telling him. If he is the one, and you truly are in love with him time will tell. Let him know you like him, and are into him in other ways by expressing feelings and talking, but hold off on the L word!
  • Nov 25, 2008, 11:59 PM
    homeworkgirl

    I will listen to you:) Thank you.
  • Nov 26, 2008, 12:00 AM
    baho

    Your welcome.
  • Nov 26, 2008, 01:38 AM
    JBeaucaire

    I agree, tell him your feelings by your undivided (non-creepy!) attention. Be a caring girlfriend. Let your demeanor do the talking.

    You are right, it would be rushing to tell anyone that the craving your feeling is "love". You need to start practicing what love really is... it's an action on your part, something you DO. It's not something you feel and proclaim in triumph like you've accomplished anything. Those feelings are out of your control, so keep that in mind.

    You will have to spend the 2 years trying out these "feelings" and see if they can translate into a permanent relationship. Like it or not, odds are they can't. That's not a bad thing, you'll still have a great time with him while it lasts, so don't mess up the part that IS real with talk about something that isn't yet.
  • Nov 26, 2008, 02:14 AM
    homeworkgirl

    Thank you very much, JB. You are thoughtful. But I am formally challenging you now. If later I am married to him, I must let you know and you will know that odds are they can!
  • Nov 26, 2008, 08:25 AM
    JBeaucaire

    See.. You're doing it again. You're making plans without doing the work.

    I know you ARE going to get married.
    I know you will love that man very much.
    I know it will be hard being married, but worth it.

    I know the guy you end up marrying... it won't have anything to do with how you "feel" about him a few weeks in. Nothing. It will be 100% about what you AND he have been willing to do in terms of dating properly for 2 years.

    Don't play the odds. Just do the work. You're right, you WILL win in the end, I just already know something you're not letting into your thinking... that most relationships end. They just do. So stop making picket fence plans when you still have a TON of work to do just in the dating arena.

    Don't spoil the fun you get to have, this is going to be complicated enough as it is. (wink)
  • Nov 26, 2008, 12:13 PM
    talaniman

    Ask Me Help Desk - Search Results

    Your getting way ahead of yourself, and its a red flag when you love someone, and they only like you. Don't set yourself up for pain like that.

    Just be happy today, and let tomorrow get here in its own time. Then deal with it.

    Don't let those good warm feelings get you carried away, and seeing more than what's real.
  • Nov 26, 2008, 02:53 PM
    BlackVY

    Haha... you could keep it simple like...

    "Luv ya"... or something... hehe... I don't think that would work.. but meh..

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