Hi

My boy friend had two girl friends before me and they both dumped him time to time. He was so much in love with them.

Now some times I feel that he used to love them more than me. I always keep on fighting for both of them. We are planning to get married but I keep on irritating him for his past. I can not control myself and end up taking their names.

PLase suggest some tips to ignore the past and focus on present life.

I expect a lot of things from him as what he have done for them but not for me. I want him to give me importance. He says that I pesture him a lot.

Please help me in forgetting those girls else I am thinking to see a physicatrist.

Well anyone would feel the same way I bet if u think back he may not have done the same things as he has done for those girls but he has done things of equal importance for u that should make u feel special because he has not done these things for those other girls

Some premarital counselling would be a very good idea! You know you are going to lose him if you keep on doing this right? He is with you now, he is not with one of them. If you keep on badgering him, and comparing how he did things for them that he didn't do for you, you are setting yourself up for disaster!

Stop it or you WILL lose him!

A great technique is write down every special little thing he has done for you on a small piece of paper and put it in your most frequently used pocket so that every time u put your hand in that pocket and pull out this piece of papper without thinking u will be reminded of all the little things this should make these things more bold in your mind and may help you remember them when talking to him

Past is something few buddies like to stick with, and many does. In your case I think the possible reason could be that he hav'nt found that height with you which he had in past or by having you he is realizing himself that every thing is like past. He just can't resist himself to sometime Quote them on occasions, this is bcoz the involvement he had, no doubt he is true by heart. I'll not suggest you to leave him, make him to say that past is past and his present is with you and future he has to decide, to ruin present for past today means that he will do the same if you left him. As far as Psychiatrist is concerned I vote not for you but for him. Believe it, he needs a good one. Hope to have a good news from you next time.

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Originally Posted by kay_sagar

Past is something few buddies like to stick wid, and many does. In your case i think the possible reason could be that he hav'nt found that height with you which he had in past or by having you he is realizing himself that every thing is like past. He just can't resist himself to sometime Quote them on occasions, this is bcoz the involvement he had, no doubt he is true by heart. I'll not suggest you to leave him, make him to say that past is past and his present is wid you and future he has to decide, to ruin present for past today means that he will do the same if you left him. As far as Psychiatrist is concerned I vote not for you but for him. Believe it, he needs a good one. Hope to have a gud news from you next time.

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I sure hope this is a case of a language barrier. I totally disagree! This is not HIS problem, this is HERS! People have pasts! That is just the way it is! This is the reason for premarital counseling with both of them. He needs to learn not to bring up his ex's, and she needs to learn that he has had 2 other women that meant something to him. Is it okay to bring up the ex's? NO! But will she ruin her relationship by making this a point of contention? YES! If he hasn't yet reached that "height" with her, marriage should not be a discussion at this point at all without counseling.

You cannot MAKE someone say something they don't want to say. Ultimatums do not work. People will say what they want to say. If you don't like it, you either get help to work it out, or leave. Plain and simple! Suggesting that HE needs a counselor, and "a good one" in your words, is not going to help matters, and in fact make them worse. Both parties need marital counselling. All around, this was very bad advice!

I agree 100% with you starbuck

I bet this woman has past partners that she felt deeply for why is this not and issue with him. Also from what I have picked up this woman is the one that keeps bringing up the ex,s not him