My dad has been raising my 5 yo nephew for the last three years with out help from the mom or dad. The dad has full custody but has not seen or contacted this child in over 8 months. He does not pay any child suport or help with medical, school or other needs. My husband and I along with my dad have been providing for and raising this child. Can we (my dad) file emergency or temp custody? Can he file for abandonment? He wants to adopt this child and the mother has already signed the adoption papers. The father however will not sign them yet will not have anything to do with him. He has remarried and had another child this year. Can ANYONE provide us with ANY helpful info?

My heart goes out to you, and your family. You are in a sticky situation. If this child needed a medical procedure done, the only person who would be able to give consent would be the adult who had legal custody. You need to call an attornf ey for your own protection; and then contact your local Department of Family and Children's Services. You can get temporary custody of your nephew, who will be made a ward of the state. That will give your nephew medicaid. If the father is a true dead beat, you can also report him and the state will garnish his earnings by pay or by tax return. The possibilities are endless. There is probably a free legal service in your area for this very thing.

You may be able to use abandonment as grounds for getting a Termination of Parental Rights (TPR). But that's what you want is a TPR not charge abandonment.

Your dad really needs an attorney to prepare the adoption paeprs and work on getting the TPR on the father.

You need to be keeping really good notes of every little thing. I don't know where you are, but in my state, after so many days/months of no contact, you can file for abandonment and then file for custody. This is not a quick cheap thing obviously. Check into maybe a volunteer lawyer through the state if needed.

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Originally Posted by momof4and1

in my state, after so many days/months of no contact, you can file for abandonment and then file for custody.

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Just a clarification here. In almost all states one doesn't file for abandonment. Abandonment is a grounds for terminating rights. Since the OP's father is looking to adopt the child then that should be what he files for. He files for adoption and use abandonment as grounds to get the legal father's rights terminated.

Sorry, when I said file, I meant file with your states human services, health and welfare, child protection, etc. Which ever is the right office in your state. My parents had to file with health and welfare for my two nieces, and make a report before they could have the state go further to open the case for them.

But, again, since the ultimate goal is adoption, there may be no need for getting any social services againcy involved.

The only reason I mentioned the socail services was because the sole fact that the dad will not sign any rights over. You have to have a good basis that he is not invovled and the state is a great advocate for this. This will be a long fight and the more you have on your side before goingto court the sooner it will be over and the less stress on the family/ child.

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Originally Posted by momof4and1

You need to be keeping really good notes of every little thing. I don't know where you are, but in my state, after so many days/months of no contact, you can file for abandonment and then file for custody. This is not a quick cheap thing obviously. Check into maybe a volunteer lawyer through the state if needed.

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What State is that?

I noticed you've posted information on other sites and have not responded to requests for information. Would you please answer the follow up questions. Otherwise the info is of no or questionable value.

I am in Idaho. I think that I have answered the questions that have been asked of me. Anyting else you would like to know?