OK,so I wasn't sure where I should put this question,I was in a real bad,and I mean bad marriage,and I met a man again after I divorced my ex and I did get remarried.but here's the problem,I am very afraid of him cheating.he goes out,lets me know where he's going,calls so I know he's safe,and calls on his way home.we have an agreement that while he's out I can call,but in the past it used to be so bad that I was ringing his phone off the hook.problem is I can't place why I feel like I do.my ex never cheated,I almost wish he would have,because then he would have left me alone.but I am still afraid my husband is going to find"better".now my husband is aware of the bad marriage and the hell I went through so I think he does his best to make sure I am feeling OK with him going out.and he always ask if its OK if he goes out.I never say no,I always say yes,I don't think it would be right to tell him no he can't go out because I have panic attacks when you leave.thats not fair.we have talked about it and how I feel,and I have found that if he tells me early in the week he's going out like on Friday.im OK.if he just throws it on me then I panic.why do I panic when I know he's not cheating?
Also you need to understand he and I made an agreement in the very beginning of our relationship,I don't like alchahol in the house and I don't want my kids to see it.I think it gives a bad presentation to children.so I told him if he wants to drink he must leave the house.out of respect for me and my kids he does.so like I said he goes out of his way to make sure I'm safe and comfortable.what do you think?

He has given you no reason to doubt his intentions. He is doing exactly what you told him to do. This problem, from what you are telling us, is 100% YOU.

It would probably be beneficial for you to seek counselling (for yourself) if not already doing so - because if you continue down this road, you may bring about the end of a second marriage, and one that doesn't need to end.

Glad your in counseling, that would be my advice also.

It is good you are seeking counseling.

Most people feel a bit insecure when meeting someone new and even during the beginning stages of dating. If, however, you are in a steady relationship with a caring partner, and you have nagging insecurities about yourself and your partner, something deeper may be going on.

Insecurity often stems not from reality but from fear. Fear of rejection, fear of intimacy, and even fear of losing your identity may all come into play. It is likely that you may have also carried these insecurities over from a past relationship, and now are allowing them to wreak havoc on your current one.

Of course, if you feel insecure it is next to impossible to have a healthy relationship, as it can manifest in many ways:

Making you feel that you don't deserve your partner
Accusing your partner of infidelity
Becoming codependent
Envying other people and/or their relationship
Possessiveness

Meanwhile, the more insecure you feel, the more you are likely to distrust your partner, attempt to control him or her, or avoid discussing future plans -- all of which can ultimately lead to what you fear: a relationship breakdown.

Counseling will help you relaize what you can do to break this cycle and feel confident in yourself and your relationship?

Good luck to you.