My boyfriend and I have been on and off for over 2 years. He started taking percocet the last year and a half. He has been on and off them for a while, the past 3-4 months he has been taking 12 pills a day. The first quarter of our relationship he wasn't taking any pills however we broke up after six months because he said he was losing feelings for me. Our relationship is a lot different now and more mature but we have brokem up several times because he wasn't sure he was in love with me and I would always bug him about it. We were apart during the summer. We broke up because he started going through withdrawal and I couldn't handle it he was a completely different person. We didn't speak for about 2 months and I saw him at the beach about a week after he started his withdrawal and I overheard him talking about another girl and I saw that he was texting her. He showed no emotion towards me. We got back together in Septemeber, he told me he did like the girl but he didn't care about her how he cared about me and I was always on his mind. We've been really happy recently but he has been taking perc's. He started his withdrawl yesterday and I can already tell he's changing he seems distants and barely shows affection and when he does it feels kind of forced and not to upset me. I know he's going through a very tough time and he's in a lot of pain but I don't know what to do. He swore to me that his love wasn't cause of percs and that if I would just wait it out that week or so he would prove to me that he really does love me and things would go back to normal. This is something he's already told me before and it hasn't been true at least I think it hasn't because we always broke. I would like some advice if people think that percocet can make you think you love someone, he would tell me I'm his universe and the love of his life. I don't think if that's because of percs or not and I would like feedback before I decide what I'm going to do about our relationship.

Help :(

I think you might be looking at this backwards.

You don't like the way he's acting during his withdrawal, and it's making you doubt the idea that he loves you. It's making you wonder if he loved you because of the drugs.

My opinion is that you need to stop busting his balls right now. In fact, the only thing you should be doing if you love him is to be supportive the whole way through, and then give him some time to adjust to living and feeling without the pills.

I think it's to be expected that he's going to be in a very bad mood to say the least. A bad mood is the least of his concerns right now, and it should also be yours. You just need to keep in mind the fact that he's going to be tough to deal with for awhile. You can let him know that, but don't harp on it. There's no point in making a bad situation worse.

I wish him lots of luck.

Have you looked for any help at ,say, AL-ANON?

The more drugs an addict takes,the more they 'love' everything around them,because they are feeding a need.

If the user is repeating behaviors and you think it is going to be like last time,GET GONE already!

As a recovering drug addict,I can tell you the ins and outs of MY experience,what I did, and what it took to make me stop.

The definition of insanity;

Doing the same thing,expecting different results.

How many times did you break up?And what makes you think this is going to be different?

There are too many non drug using,not going through withdraws,human men out there to satisfy anyone's tastes.Why stay where chaos and broken feelings are so commonplace?

In order for him to stop this behavior,HE has to make a decision.HE has to become so uncomfortable that HE will change.

This site will explain a little about setting boundries,if it makes sense and you want to post again,I'll be around.

Setting Personal Boundaries - protecting self

KBC

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KBC

Have you looked for any help at ,say, AL-ANON?

The more drugs an addict takes,the more they 'love' everything around them,because they are feeding a need.

If the user is repeating behaviors and you think it is going to be like last time,GET GONE already!

As a recovering drug addict,I can tell you the ins and outs of MY experience,what I did, and what it took to make me stop.

The definition of insanity;

Doing the same thing,expecting different results.

How many times did you break up?And what makes you think this is going to be different?

There are too many non drug using,not going through withdraws,human men out there to satisfy anyone's tastes.Why stay where chaos and broken feelings are so commonplace?

In order for him to stop this behavior,HE has to make a decision.HE has to become so uncomfortable that HE will change.

This site will explain a little about setting boundries,if it makes sense and you want to post again,I'll be around.

Setting Personal Boundaries - protecting self

KBC

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He has made the decision to stop. I did not force him to do anything he has just realized how bad his addiction is getting and how it affects his life. He's asked me to wait and stick and out with him. Two days ago he was telling me he needs me and loves me now I feel like he's telling me things because that's what I want to hear and when I bring it up he says so what it's the truth who cares if I say it cause you want to hear it but its just not the same. I really fear that his percocet addiction is what made him love me.

Did you look at the site I posted?

When do you say enough is enough?

What is the point you won't accept this problem as your own?

Addicts,like me, say ANYTHING t keep support around us,we fear being alone!It's the addiction that keeps us going,not life,it's only drugs we want!

Does this make any sense?

In my experience with percoset it never made me love someone, but in this case it sounds more like the boyfriend is the issue. Breaking up on and off because he isn't sure he loves you isn't a good thing and that's the kind of stuff that means he doesn't love you-- but if that's not going on now and you're determined to see it through, then just give him the week and longer if he needs. Drug withdrawal is going to be painful and just a crappy time all around for him, so try to patiently wait it out. Based on his behavior, it might turn out he only wanted you around while he was going through withdrawal to have someone to take care of him and will dump you as soon as he feels better- but once again, that's his character, not drugs.

To start with I am in my 8th month of being off percocets. I went through the withdrawals, actually thought I was dying, but that's a different story. I will tell you that one thing about taking percs, and I took 4 per day for 5 years, is the feeling of happiness you feel about 15 minutes after you take one. I seriously would be in the truck with my husband, looking at trees thinking "what a great day"!! I was funny, happy, smart etc, it was nothing for my jokes to have everyone in line at 7-11 grabbing their stomachs and laughing at my funny one-liners. It makes you feel like all is right with the world and your happy. You feel happy all the time, you look at people who are sad and think"wow what is wrong with them", well, it is all false happiness. To be honest, I loved my husband with my life, I would do anything for him, couldn't imagine life without him. Well, after getting off the percs, reality set in. I really wasn't "happy". The percs made it seem like nothing was as bad as it really was. If you look up why people get addicted to percs, it will say that it's the feeling of euphoria. Now that I am off them I see him in a compleley different way. Mine you, he only knew the "me" that was on percs. Now he is seeing me. And to be honest I think we are both in shock. It sounds to me, like your boyfriend loved you when he was taking them, because all is right with the world when your on them, and once he got off them, he saw you for the first time, so to speak. It is a very hard long road getting off them.the first month, I couldn't walk for more than 2 minutes, my muscles were weak. I would just sit. Out of the blue I would yell "oh my god", and move positions. It was horrible. I know they say going cold turkey can be deadly and I believe it, there were a few times I was going to have him take me to the e.r because I thought I was dying. I hope this helps, even of just a little. Give some thought to the fact that maybe you guys really aren't compatible and he wasn't as happy as you thought he was. It was the percs.

There is a lot of true stuff in here. If one is predisposed to addictive behavior, prevention will be tough.

Drugs and alcohol change people. Your future/past BF COULD end up being a problem.

Only support and no sex until he's clean for sometime. Affection is OK. Make that rule clear to him. Somethink like: There will be NO sex in this relationship until you have been clean for at least a year.

I'm not a Lover... I don't typically love but percocets do make me feel "love"