Ask Me Help Desk - Should I trust him?

Should I trust him?

Ok well first off I'm 15, so your advice might vary.
Well anyway I've been best friends with this guy since I was about 12, and he's had a mojor crush on me since then. I never felt the same way until last year when we first went out but I broke it off because I was new to relationships and he was moving fast.
Well time went on and I found myself liking him again. But by then he had gotten a new girlfriend. So I had talked to my friends about how I felt about it and they said that I should tell him how I felt about him. I did and he said he still felt the same way. So he came over to hang out one Sunday and we kissed. And I felt horrible because he had a girlfriend and when I talked to him about it he didn't seem to care that he was cheating. He felt that since she was going to college next year that it was OK. I went a long with it.
A few weeks later she broke up with him and I immediately took her place. We've only been going out for a few weeks but since we go to different schools I've been feeling a little paranoid.
He got a text one night and it said "Luv u 2" and it wasn't from me. I talked to him about it and he said it was from one of his best friends who had asked him out the week before. He turned her down saying that he had a girlfriend. But I'm wondering why it would have said that unless he said "I love you" to her first.
But he said that they were just good friends and he had no romantic feelings for her at all. And he swore to me many times that he would never cheat on me.
Part of me wants to trust him but the oher part keeps going to his ex and to the text message.
He has always liked me and I've never once caught him lying to me. And from what people have told me he's always talking about me and he spends like 5 hours talking to me at night. And when we're together I can feel how much he likes me.
I know this must sound stupid and I know that you're thinking that I'm just a 15-year-old. But I do care about him and he does seem to care about me. And I don't know what to believe. I just need a view from someone older. I need advice and I need someone to help me find out what I should believe. I know trust is important but that message it just, bugs me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KatieAnne93

A few weeks later she broke up with him and I immediately took her place

OK he's over her, now he's into you... what will happen when he's over you?

Quote:

Originally Posted by KatieAnne93

He got a text one night and it said "Luv u 2" and it wasn't from me. I talked to him about it and he said it was from one of his best friends who had asked him out the week before. He turned her down saying that he had a girlfriend. But I'm wondering why it would have said that unless he said "I love you" to her first.

You are thinking correct, sounds like he's telling A lot of lies. I never tell someone.. I love you 2 unless if they say it.

And HE CHEATED ON HIS EX with you. That is horrible, wouldn't that be the first thing to make you lose trust in him. I would be very careful with him. I think you are a smart girl.
There's no way for to know if you can trust him, but I think he is immature right now and not taking relationships seriously. It's all up to you, if you want to try and gain trust with him or if you just want to get out now and find another guy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KatieAnne93

And he swore to me many times that he would never cheat on me.

Did he promise the girl he was with before you the same thing? If he kissed you while he was with her, what's going to stop him from kissing someone else while he's with you?

[QUOTE=h0llister;1388970]OK he's over her, now he's into you... what will happen when he's over you?

Well the thing is, he's always been into me. His little brother told me that he only went out with this girl because I wouldn't go out with him. And this is coming from his younger brother not from him.
So I don't think Paul(my boyfriend and the current reason for my stress)was ever truly into this girl. But I don't think he knows much about relationships or about his own feelings. He thought he was in love with this girl. But then he just... wasn't? He told a friend of mine that he didn't want to hurt his girlfriend and that was why he was still with her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KatieAnne93

Well the thing is, he's always been into me. His little brother told me that he only went out with this girl because I wouldn't go out with him. And this is coming from his younger brother not from him.
So I don't think Paul(my boyfriend and the current reason for my stress)was ever truly into this girl. But I don't think he knows much about relationships or about his own feelings. He thought he was in love with this girl. But then he just...wasn't? He told a friend of mine that he didn't want to hurt his girlfriend and that was why he was still with her.

Ok I see to many red flags in there, first he only went out with her because he couldn't get you.. but thought he loved her? Mmm sounds werid.. I don't think he knows much about relationships either. And also he didn't want to hurt his exgirlfriend so he stayed with her.. what about if he stops being interesting with you... is he going to cheat on you too? You need to look at his actions with previous girlfriends, he thought he loved his ex.. but now he loves you.. I would be afraid of getting hurt, if I was you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by h0llister

Ok i see to many red flags in there, first he only went out with her because he couldnt get you.. but thought he loved her?? mmm sounds werid.. I dont think he knows much about relationships either. and also he didnt want to hurt his exgirlfriend so he stayed with her.. what about if he stops being interesting with you... is he gonig to cheat on you too? You need to look at his actions with previous girlfriends, he thought he loved his ex.. but now he loves you.. i would be afraid of getting hurt, if i was you.

Exactly why I'm talking to him about it right now. I want his very most honest answer.

I hope the best for you and keep us posted :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by h0llister

i hope the best for you and keep us posted :)

He said that he told her he loved her because he didn't want to hurt anyone. He said that they talked about it and that they're not even going to hang out anymore.
But I told him he pretty much just went south with my trust.
I can't bring myself to end anything because he did tell me the truth.
He told me he cared about me,
And that he ended his friendship with her to keep our relationship safe.
But I told him I don't know how I'm going to believe that because he just be saying it,
And I told him that I can't believe he loves me bwecause he throws those words around so much.
I don't know
I think I'm going to give him a second chance.

When someone cheats WITH you, they will usually cheat ON you. Sorry, but I wouldn't trust him.

Actions speak louder than words.. right now you are trusting his words.. hopefully his future actions won't hurt you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by h0llister

actions speak louder than words.. right now you are trusting his words.. hopefully his future actions wont hurt you.

That's what I told him. I am fully aware that he could just be saying this. But honestly, because I've known him for so long and because he has liked me for so long, I think I can trust him. I'm not stupid and I'm not just a love struck teen, I'm really trying to hold a relationship together with someone I really like. He is a very sensitive person and I believe that he would say that to make someone happy. But regardless it still bugs me that she said it back, and that he even said it at all. I'm going to still go out with him but if he messes up one more time I'm going to make sure he gets what's coming to him. I'm extremely hurt right now and I hope I don't ever have to feel it again. And I hope with all my heart that he is telling me the truth. :)
Lets pray,
:D

Sorry to tell you this, but he has cheated on his ex with YOU, so you already know his words mean nothing.

Forgiving him now, and keep hoping, will put you in a lousy position later, and let him know you will go for anything he says.

Protect yourself, because I guarantee there will be a next time, unless you have your blinders on.

He ain't worth all that damage to your dignity, and self esteem. Sorry again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Sorry to tell you this, but he has cheated on his ex with YOU, so you already know his words mean nothing.

Forgiving him now, and keep hoping, will put you in a lousy position later, and let him know you will go for anything he says.

Protect yourself, because I guarantee there will be a next time, unless you have your blinders on.

He ain't worth all that damage to your dignity, and self esteem. Sorry again.

Yea he knows. He's got one more chance. That's it. He's been my best friend for too long so it's hard to just not trust him.