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I am best friends with a man for a year. We talk about everything and anything. He married in May 08. We are still best friends but his wife does not aprove of it. In the mean time we have been sexually active. Still are. I drive 4 hours to see him and vice versa. How can I stop? I don't want to but I have to . I don't want to lose him as my friend.
Please help! :(
You're going to have to lose him as your friend, sorry. That's just how it is and I don't feel bad for you if you've both been going behind his wife's back and cheating like that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim Mike
No wonder she doesn't approve of you being his friend. Shame on you both.
Leave him alone and don't talk to him anymore at all. Suck it up and learn from your mistakes.
How dare you come on here. And say you feel bad because the wife does not like you
And you guys are banging behind her back!
You disgust me!
You will get what is coming to you.
You. And that so called crap A@@ of a husband
Sod off out of it
How can you be a friend when you help him cheat?? Leave him alone, and stop making excuses about what you can't do. Small wonder his wife doesn't approve of you.Quote:
How can I stop? I don't want to but I have to . I don't want to lose him as my friend.
Ever hear of "NO CONTACT"? That's what you need. Stop talking to this cheater, and save yourself the 4 hour ride, to do the wrong thing. That in itself is stupid. He isn't YOUR friend, your to easy of a piece, to really respect. Think about it, before you get indignant!
How do you sleep at night?
Why did he get married? Did you know him before that?
Even if you did, he's made his choice, he got married and he has to be faithful to his wife. He's a cheater, a user, a poor excuse for a husband, and you are his cheap little tart.
You are both equally to blame, in the meantime, the only person getting hurt, his wife, is innocently waiting at home for her husband.
You don't have a choice, move on. If not, don't expect any sympathy from anyone, you made your bed, now lay in it.
I know what I am doing is wrong!! I am not a bad person . Just made bad choices. It kills me what I am doing.Quote:
Originally Posted by xxariesxx
He was my friend first! Don't judge me...
OH YES WE WILL JUDGE!
Your actions are that of a CHILD!
I want I want.. this makes me happy.. I need this
SEFLISH! Is what you are.
Then stop doing what you are doing and leave it that.
Sounds like a great friend.. then you bang him while he is married
Yeah you two sound like you have a great friendship
Quote:
Originally Posted by TrueFaith
WOW! I am new to this! And you come back that I disgust you.
You might be new to this site, but obviously you are not new to sleeping with someone who is in a relationship and that is why you don't like the responses you are getting.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim Mike
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim Mike
You don't find your actions disgusting? Are you proud of yourself? You're sleeping with a married man. That's not friendship, that friends with benefits, and the only ones' reaping the benefits are you and this cheater. His wife deserves a good husband, she married him, not you. Get some morals and stop sleeping with a married man.
Karma's a b#tch, sooner or later this will come back to bite you in the butt. How would you feel if you were married and your husband was sleeping with some women that doesn't give a darn about the commitment that you and your husband made to each other?
He's a lowly little maggot and, because you don't care either, so are you. Stop sleeping with him, force him to be a faithful husband. What am I saying, he's scum, he'll just find another hussy. You have the chance to be a decent human being, it's not about you anymore, so grow up!
I'm getting sick of all these cheaters. What's wrong with this world?
Wow I don't even know what to say, everyone else has covered it ! Lol
You have to be kidding me. It takes two to cheat you know.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim Mike
If you knew what you were doing was wrong, why did you keep doing it?? If it kills you what you are doing and you really do regret it, then you know the best thing is for you to not talk to him anymore and leave him alone.
"He was my friend first!" Pfft. What does that even matter? You sound like a child... "but he started it!"
I don't know why you would except any sympathy.
You will get not pitty here Kim.
Because many of us have been on the other END of what you are doing.
And for us to tell you that..
Oh its OK.. yeah its not the best sleeping with a married guy.. but hey you guys are BFF! So yeah its all good..
Ahh that wife.. he isn't happy with her.. its great that you drive 4 hours to see him!
Ohh and you know its wrong.. yet you still do it.. Its not weak or pathetic noo no no..
That's a sign of a Matuer! Strong willed person!
Yup!
Don't worrie Everything will be fine!
You know what I got to say to that
Like HELL it will be.
The husband is a complete moron for.. getting married when he.. has no intention of having a real relationship let alone a marriage.
And you.. a bit of Fluff on the side. You keep saying your friends.. who cares..
We know what you are though
A Selfish Cheater.
Who from what I have read.. is only fed up about driving so far to see him.. other than the effect that her actions are having on the marriage.
You said you Just made bad choices?
That's the kind of stuff you say.. when you take the wrong turn... or pay for a new Iphone and not your phone bill.
Not Sleeping with a Married Man!
Yeah so sympathy out the window.
Look, you screwed up bad, and in all reality, it is selfish people like you that make these kinds of decisions, that cause people to have to come to a website like this to begin with. The issue that everyone has, is that you came to this site talking about how his wife didn't want you to be friends and then you went and validated her reasoning. You are concerned about your happiness and you are so concerned about how you want to have him as your friend... instead of realizing what you have really done here. What everyone has said to you, is exactly what someone who has done the things that you have, needs to hear. You can take them one of two ways... either you can be grateful that people have told you like it is, so that you can realized how you have screwed up other people's lives, and make sure that you never do it again... or two, you can just downplay the effects of your actions on others, and continue to think only of yourself and what you want, which will all come back to bite you over and over again.
You came to the right site to get help and advice, but you came asking the wrong questions. Nonetheless, you should be ashamed of your actions, and doing whatever you can to try and change your ways.
I did end it with him. I am a very bad person and made a terrible mistake. I needed help and got great advise. Thank you for all that responded. I closed that chapter in my life even though I lost a great friend. I will get over it. There is so many single men out there for me. Deleted his number off my phone and deleted his email address. Thank you again for helping me out. Putting me back on the right road...
Great move, and good luck!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim Mike
Good for you, I'm proud of you, jeesh, now I should like your mom. ;)
This is the right thing to do, I'm glad that you decided to take this step, you'll be a better person for it, heck, you already are.
I know it will be hard, but stick to No contact, find someone that can be yours and yours alone, he's out there, you just have to look.
Keep us posted on how you're doing. Once again, I'm really proud of you, really proud! :)
What you said I so agree. I did "break" up with him. I feel so guilty of what I did. If the tables were turned... wow I could not imagine. Don't want to. Thank you for your input! It helped me so much. I can't believe I let it go as long as I did. Unfort.. I was only thinking of my needs. WOW I am a better person than this. Again thank you!
No thanks necessary. We were harsh, but we needed to be, I'm glad that you read what we said with an open mind and heart.
You're the one that had to do it, we just told you what to do, we had the easy part in all of this.
Stick around, there are many other people, going through the same thing you just did, maybe you can help them see it from an insiders point of view.
Just remember, the easy way isn't always the right way, it takes strength to do the right thing, and you found that strength, you alone, we just gave you a little shove. :)
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